Is it normal if you have an identity crisis at the age of 40 or older?

Ok Im 19 but at this rate, I feel like im never going to find out who I am and I have no one else to blame but myself. Over the years, I try to act like someone else to receive the respect Ive never had as being me. I literally changed my identity/appearance like evry other week because either the last one didnt work out or I found a better one or just cause I liked one in particular more. Its cost me a lot from spending money on clothes and accessories to pull that identity off well to losing who I really am and now I cant find it. I have to dig reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaal deep to find the intrinsic me but so many layers of other people are in me that I dont know where to start taking off because part of them is me...or so I believe? I have no idea. I have no idea who I am and when people dont like me usually it could be because....yah i dont know but then i get this attitude and I cant help it cause it comes from being disliked. So then i ask is this me with attitude and stuff? No cause thats their fault but im acting myself when im bitchy but again only cause people dnt like me. So if people did accpet me i wouldnt be sucha bitch therefore thats not my identity...?IM LOST. At this age, a lot of people know who they are already ish but i feel like 13 just barely growing and it sucks cause then i cant fully enjoy life with others especially my age since i would come across them more often than others. I feel like based on how much Ive covered myself just to be liked or at least accepted (oh that word), its going to take a while for me to finally be set in myself, move on, and live. But for right now, Im trapped in this body where people are identifying it for me when it should not be that way. Then i think well, its not like the ones who do fit in are being fully themselves anyways so I try to not put a lot of pressure in myself yet i cant be fake like them. Its a huge tangle and um I feel like a turtle is untangling it.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 4 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It's hard to actually try to be yourself and you have to know not everyone will like your real self that is just natural. And most people are also shells of someone they are not most just don't admit to it.
    If you want to find yourself just don't worry about the layers and remember before everything before the reaction to rejection how did you live? how did it felt? what made you start making all those layers of fake? if you don't solve those questions you will never really be able to get rid of it all. For you to be truly free you will have to first be completely honest with yourself no justifications and no cushioning of the ego just the blunt truth, and after that be truly willing to change which is very hard and painful but if you really want to be yourself you will do it :)

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  • I went through an identity crisis at the age of 17 and it's still going at the age of 20. I was told no one really knows who they are but you have to accept that and follow what you feel is right. Don't try to fit in. The key is to say how you feel, act how you want, and not care about people who tell you you're wrong. Just try to be happy. Ask A LOT of questions. Find new things. Be yourself.

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  • I'm 18 and i have the same problem..although i don't change identities and wardrobe every week coz financially i couldnt :)
    Hope you'd take this lightly eventhough am younger than you..I do think that this time of our lives (being a teen) is the part where we are really confused as to who we really are and what we are supposed to do in life..its sooo normal to be in such confusion...our only option is to be OURSELVES, be with the ones we love and love us (coz they're the ones who'll really KNOW you),and ask guidance to the ones older (coz they've gone through this from the past and they can relate what we are going)...

    We have a long way to go...don't let other people take that away from you..be who you are, love, laugh, be crazy, whatever!JUST BE YOURSELF...and dont be guilty for who the way you are..

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  • You will never be liked by everyone. That's the truth, so deal with it. Even if you are perfect, those who are jealous or just negative will always find something about you. Just be whatever you like most :)

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