I can understand your want to have a certain gender. There's nothing wrong with that. I've always felt like I'd like to have a girl if I ever had a child. It's probably much worse for you considering you already had a girl before. It probably doesn't mean much coming from an internet stranger, but I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even imagine how painful that must have been.
All that being said, I really do not think it would be normal for you to give up your baby because it's not the gender you wanted. That's pretty extreme to me. Even though you may not think so right now, you would probably regret giving up your child later on. Just think about if your child ever decided to meet you one day and how difficult it would be to explain to them why you decided to give them up...
Alternatively, If you have the money, you CAN choose your baby's gender. Scientists have known how to do this for some time now. Ignoring the cost and whether it's ethical or not, the morality of this approach is arguably way better... Maybe give it some thought?
Thanks for being honest and open minded about my thoughts on this. I think you are right. It is one thing to entertain the idea of it, but I will most likely be too attached to my next baby to even comprehend why I thought that in the first place.
It's probably going to be different when I am actually holding the newborn..
I won't have another kid for a while, as I am still depressed over my first one and I know I will never fully move on from losing her. You are right. Trying to forget her and move on is so hard. No matter how much I pretend to be over it, I know I am really not.
I don't know why people have to be so judgemental. A lot of people lose custody battles for different or unfair reasons. It doesn't mean I was a shit parent or didnt love my daughter though.
The person who said that is so mean. Ive been told a lot in my life but never Anything that bad. Ive been crying on and off again for nearly 2 hours. Its like they ripped my wound wide open and rubbed salt in it. They never saw me interacting or bonding with her so I don't know how they can say that.
I was honestly afraid of reading the new response. I was afraid you were gonna say hateful things too. So thanks for being refreshing and saying something different.
I will apologize if I made you feel bad. It's not actually my intention to bring people down, but I am unsure how to make people think by being positive.
I think I can give some more information to at least help as I can tell you may have some issues.
It's not good to invest emotions into the internet. People say all kinds of mean things online and in real life and most people cannot be trusted. Many people online are probably even more fucked up and there isn't much you can do about that.
I tend to say my opinions in very harsh ways because it's the only way I know how. I'm probably quite fucked up myself and perceive the world as an evil hateful place that I do not even like. I never wanted kids myself because I felt it was the cruelest thing I could do to bring someone in the world. I wont get into my life story. It's posted in anonymous posts throughout this site and they are never normal and I'm not even a troll. I sometimes wonder if I actually have nothing positive to say about my world outlook because I've seen horrible things and personally think this might be hell.
So I probably often bring people down without trying to. There are others who are much worse than me who do it on purpose, so try to be more careful how you respond to others as everything anyone says should never be taken anything more than neutral information.
Is it normal if I would consider giving up a baby because of gender?
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I can understand your want to have a certain gender. There's nothing wrong with that. I've always felt like I'd like to have a girl if I ever had a child. It's probably much worse for you considering you already had a girl before. It probably doesn't mean much coming from an internet stranger, but I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even imagine how painful that must have been.
All that being said, I really do not think it would be normal for you to give up your baby because it's not the gender you wanted. That's pretty extreme to me. Even though you may not think so right now, you would probably regret giving up your child later on. Just think about if your child ever decided to meet you one day and how difficult it would be to explain to them why you decided to give them up...
Alternatively, If you have the money, you CAN choose your baby's gender. Scientists have known how to do this for some time now. Ignoring the cost and whether it's ethical or not, the morality of this approach is arguably way better... Maybe give it some thought?
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Talkingaboutyou
5 years ago
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Thanks for being honest and open minded about my thoughts on this. I think you are right. It is one thing to entertain the idea of it, but I will most likely be too attached to my next baby to even comprehend why I thought that in the first place.
It's probably going to be different when I am actually holding the newborn..
I won't have another kid for a while, as I am still depressed over my first one and I know I will never fully move on from losing her. You are right. Trying to forget her and move on is so hard. No matter how much I pretend to be over it, I know I am really not.
I don't know why people have to be so judgemental. A lot of people lose custody battles for different or unfair reasons. It doesn't mean I was a shit parent or didnt love my daughter though.
The person who said that is so mean. Ive been told a lot in my life but never Anything that bad. Ive been crying on and off again for nearly 2 hours. Its like they ripped my wound wide open and rubbed salt in it. They never saw me interacting or bonding with her so I don't know how they can say that.
I was honestly afraid of reading the new response. I was afraid you were gonna say hateful things too. So thanks for being refreshing and saying something different.
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[Old Memory]
5 years ago
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I will apologize if I made you feel bad. It's not actually my intention to bring people down, but I am unsure how to make people think by being positive.
I think I can give some more information to at least help as I can tell you may have some issues.
It's not good to invest emotions into the internet. People say all kinds of mean things online and in real life and most people cannot be trusted. Many people online are probably even more fucked up and there isn't much you can do about that.
I tend to say my opinions in very harsh ways because it's the only way I know how. I'm probably quite fucked up myself and perceive the world as an evil hateful place that I do not even like. I never wanted kids myself because I felt it was the cruelest thing I could do to bring someone in the world. I wont get into my life story. It's posted in anonymous posts throughout this site and they are never normal and I'm not even a troll. I sometimes wonder if I actually have nothing positive to say about my world outlook because I've seen horrible things and personally think this might be hell.
So I probably often bring people down without trying to. There are others who are much worse than me who do it on purpose, so try to be more careful how you respond to others as everything anyone says should never be taken anything more than neutral information.