Is it normal if i want friends but i don't like people?

So I know I have social anxiety but lately, I've narrowed it down to "I want friends and a social life but when I get the chance, something inside me doesn't want it anymore." So in example, lets say at work Im going to go have lunch but I wish I had a group I'd have lunch with. Finally, a group invites me and I start getting anxious because I have social anxiety and Im scared Im going to become awkward around them and they'll see that and never wanna invite me again. Honestly, that's what usually happens. They see how awkward I am and we don't really hang out again. But sometimes it's the other way-they invite me again but I prefer to eat lunch alone cause I like my space and alone time. Then I think, no I want to be social so just go but I get so turned off by people and what they find funny, interesting, amusing, etc. Or sometimes I prefer to be alone because I don't want them to encounter my awkwardness. Its like this battle inside of me of wanting to be social or not that I've discovered recently. Like who am I? I've said to myself I want to be more social, I want friends, but then it comes and I question it-is that really what I want? When I;m around people, I usually don't get along with them or what they're into and I just want out. I guess I just haven't found that right group for me. It's almost like a relationship where finally you find someone who you're into and is into you. Is all of this normal?

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100% Normal
Based on 8 votes
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Comments ( 11 )
  • itachi_uchiha

    everybody here are same I also think the same damm thing as you do

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    • I'm sure everyone here is the same which makes me feel a little better but still doesn't help me be the person I want to be.

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  • Hazel_Skycrest

    I feel for you. But go for it! Take a deep breath and think about all the good that will come out of it! Then go up to them smiling( keep thinking of all the fun you’ll have) and then just introduce yourself. This prob won’t help but it’s a suggestion.

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    • I wish I was this motivated all the time but I'm not. Sometimes, I get so enthusiastic to be around people then other times I am so introverted and don't want anything to do with anyone. I think even people can't read me like at work. I'm sure theyre confused when they see me all cheery after being debbie downer the last time. It sucks to not feel that motivated all the time. I can't just force myself to do something, it stresses me out.

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  • abnormoth

    I'm the exact same. It's gotten to the point where I have to force myself to talk to others because I know otherwise I'll become completely hermetic. I have little desire to socialize usually. The more you talk to people the more you realize you're not so different, and the more comfortable you'll feel. It can take time to find people you really click with.

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    • Yeah the more I talk to people, the more I realize they're not so bad but when I hear others having a convo, it's almost like it's a better flow than when they're talking to me.

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  • Caspersghost

    I have a similar problem. I think on my part though I prefer sociolizing through games or sport as its focused on a task not auctual interaction. In truth I despise people as a whole but I enjoy group activities. Relationships are also inconvenient in most cases, be it lover, family or otherwise.

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    • I think I know what you mean in terms of not wanting to just interact with people except I am more flexible about the "activity" we're doing. Like I rather go out and eat with people cause I know I'll be doing doing something (eating) and not just interacting with people. When it's just a group, making jokes, laughing, talking, all casual I try to stay away cause thats when I feel most socially anxious since it's pure interaction. I have to be doing something or something else must be going on to make me feel better.

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  • GeordieGent

    I think it’s normal in your circumstances. You can’t help the social anxiety and the awkwardness around people but at the same time you are human and you need to belong and feel valued.

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    • Yeah I've always wanted to belong and feel a part of something but I've always struggled with that to this day. Now it's even more sad because I'm older and nothing has changed. I try to be in social environments especially at work like the lunch example but eventually I get social anxiety or I don't click with the rest and I just want to be alone. Or sometimes I just genuinely want to be on my own which isn't a bad thing but for what I am desiring (socialization and friends) it is a pretty bad thing.

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  • nikkiclaire

    I'm the same. I like the idea of friends but then I realize most people are idiots. I will stick with Kate.

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