It sounds like you two need some space to see if he actually feels for you the way you want, and EXPRESSES it in a way that makes you feel loved and desired. (The expression bit is VERY important here, as this will become a bigger and bigger problem over time.)
You're not married yet and, as you said, not "official," and as such, you have no obligation to remain with him if he doesn't feel or express what you need.
You deserve someone who feels for you just as much as you do them. You're still figuring out who you are, and so is he. I hope things DO work out, honestly, but if they don't you should know that it's not your fault, and it's probably not his either.
My advice: you're overthinking it. It's probably not as bad as you describe, but if it is, what I wrote above is for that contingency. I know you really like him A LOT, but just see how things go for now, and try to guard your heart as best as you can. If you find yourself loving him, take a step back and just let things go for a while. Give yourself a month to decide if what you're feeling is love, and then give it another month to tell him. Going slow builds the strongest relationships.
Good luck! I REALLY and TRULY hope it works out for you two. (If it doesn't, remember this: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.)
I know what you mean in terms of expressing himself. At first, I hated it and questioned his feelings for me (i still do as you can see) but he kept making his point that he does like me but he has his own way of showing it and like I said, cause i love him I tried to accept it rather than just walking away. Now, i don't accept it as much and trying to be patient with him expressing his feelings cause ur right, in the long run it will be a bigger problem.
Your advice is actually what Im doing right now and thats holding back a little and letting things go with the flow. Plus, thats what I think too about going slow which is why I try to bite my tongue when I want to tell him lets just be official already. But he lets me know, there's no rush and going slow is for the better. That def makes me more confident in us.
But thanks, I truly hope so too and even if its not my fault, the pain will be hard. Ive already dealt with it a few times when I would lose hope, heck, going through it right now...but I just try to relax before I really lose him.
For how long have you been seeing him? I've somewhat been in a similar situation just recently and it killed me inside but now? I cannot be happier that I managed to give him the time that he needed to grow secure with me.
But I would not have been able to put up with it if he hadn't been super affectionate and caring towards me ...
IIN if I feel like im in some type of marriage?
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It sounds like you two need some space to see if he actually feels for you the way you want, and EXPRESSES it in a way that makes you feel loved and desired. (The expression bit is VERY important here, as this will become a bigger and bigger problem over time.)
You're not married yet and, as you said, not "official," and as such, you have no obligation to remain with him if he doesn't feel or express what you need.
You deserve someone who feels for you just as much as you do them. You're still figuring out who you are, and so is he. I hope things DO work out, honestly, but if they don't you should know that it's not your fault, and it's probably not his either.
My advice: you're overthinking it. It's probably not as bad as you describe, but if it is, what I wrote above is for that contingency. I know you really like him A LOT, but just see how things go for now, and try to guard your heart as best as you can. If you find yourself loving him, take a step back and just let things go for a while. Give yourself a month to decide if what you're feeling is love, and then give it another month to tell him. Going slow builds the strongest relationships.
Good luck! I REALLY and TRULY hope it works out for you two. (If it doesn't, remember this: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.)
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Anonymous Post Author
8 years ago
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Thank you for this!
I know what you mean in terms of expressing himself. At first, I hated it and questioned his feelings for me (i still do as you can see) but he kept making his point that he does like me but he has his own way of showing it and like I said, cause i love him I tried to accept it rather than just walking away. Now, i don't accept it as much and trying to be patient with him expressing his feelings cause ur right, in the long run it will be a bigger problem.
Your advice is actually what Im doing right now and thats holding back a little and letting things go with the flow. Plus, thats what I think too about going slow which is why I try to bite my tongue when I want to tell him lets just be official already. But he lets me know, there's no rush and going slow is for the better. That def makes me more confident in us.
But thanks, I truly hope so too and even if its not my fault, the pain will be hard. Ive already dealt with it a few times when I would lose hope, heck, going through it right now...but I just try to relax before I really lose him.
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8 years ago
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For how long have you been seeing him? I've somewhat been in a similar situation just recently and it killed me inside but now? I cannot be happier that I managed to give him the time that he needed to grow secure with me.
But I would not have been able to put up with it if he hadn't been super affectionate and caring towards me ...