I don't think I wrote the message clear. I don't ENTIRELY EXPECT him to do these things for me but PEOPLE have been telling me that this is how it should be and sometimes I might be think of that, too, like a little not COMPLETELY EXPECT him to do these things. It's like me being insecure on where we stand. Should he do these things for me? I have told people the same thing you just told me. He isn't official with me therefore, for me, I don't expect him to do these things but then I think well, idk we are seeing each other and we are loyal to each other meaning it means more than just "friends with benefits" so maybe he should do these things. Like I said, its more of me being unsure of what he should/shouldn't do. But I guess in other words, I was right in the first place. He isn't official so I shouldn't take it personal he doesn't do these things even though I hear voices telling me he should.
Based on where your relationship stands, even with the feelings of your invisible relationship string, him letting you stay with him as your unofficial boyfriend that you have no choice but unofficially break up with is a really big deal. His emotions are spiraling over this. He probably questions whether or not he's just a means to an end, with the rides and the shelter, etc. Like you're this girl he really cares about and you keep insinuating you'd like more stuff from him. Your friends sound either stupid, selfish, or full of shit. Stop listening to them, they'll ruin what could be the start of something long and important in your life. Just because he isn't enthusiastic about doing you favors doesn't mean he doesn't care. He probably wants to make sure you actually care about him.
Also, never ever let other people in your relationship. It will ruin you every time. It's hard enough to be in a relationship with one person, don't invite your friends or family.
Like the people telling you he should do these things for you, I don't get it, if he's not your boyfriend what do they expect him to do?
Why aren't you official if you're in love with him and loyal to eachother? That's where the issue lies, not being sure of what your relationship with him really is. Does he express feelings of wanting to be with you like in a relationship or are you just unsure of where he stands at all with you?
Because they know he's the guy I am talking to right now and he's the only one so they just expect it to be serious in a way. I am "dating" him in old school terms so in a way its like testing him if he does the right things AMD also vice versa.
Were not official because at the end of the day I believe were boh afraid of commitment. Were gonna live like two hrs away focusing on our career so we feel like not taking it to that next level is best to prevent really big issues in the future. I mean it does seem we are carrying everything a relationship possesses, loyalty and crazy about each other, so why not just call it official? It's just the idea of a relationship means more pressure and more problems and we wanna deal w those the least as possible. Of course if things were perfect and went the exact way I planned, I'd ask him to be my bf.
Yeah I see where you're coming from. So there are at least boundaries, either of you wouldn't be ok if the other cheated/lied. All that pressure and problems though kind of follow you whether or not you call it official. In the span of knowing eacother have you ever made it official or has this always been your relationship? I guess if you've always been between the lines then it might just work for you and making it official wouldn't make a difference.
IIN if I don't want to come off as clingy?
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I don't think I wrote the message clear. I don't ENTIRELY EXPECT him to do these things for me but PEOPLE have been telling me that this is how it should be and sometimes I might be think of that, too, like a little not COMPLETELY EXPECT him to do these things. It's like me being insecure on where we stand. Should he do these things for me? I have told people the same thing you just told me. He isn't official with me therefore, for me, I don't expect him to do these things but then I think well, idk we are seeing each other and we are loyal to each other meaning it means more than just "friends with benefits" so maybe he should do these things. Like I said, its more of me being unsure of what he should/shouldn't do. But I guess in other words, I was right in the first place. He isn't official so I shouldn't take it personal he doesn't do these things even though I hear voices telling me he should.
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iEatZombies_
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Fall_leaves
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Based on where your relationship stands, even with the feelings of your invisible relationship string, him letting you stay with him as your unofficial boyfriend that you have no choice but unofficially break up with is a really big deal. His emotions are spiraling over this. He probably questions whether or not he's just a means to an end, with the rides and the shelter, etc. Like you're this girl he really cares about and you keep insinuating you'd like more stuff from him. Your friends sound either stupid, selfish, or full of shit. Stop listening to them, they'll ruin what could be the start of something long and important in your life. Just because he isn't enthusiastic about doing you favors doesn't mean he doesn't care. He probably wants to make sure you actually care about him.
Also, never ever let other people in your relationship. It will ruin you every time. It's hard enough to be in a relationship with one person, don't invite your friends or family.
Like the people telling you he should do these things for you, I don't get it, if he's not your boyfriend what do they expect him to do?
Why aren't you official if you're in love with him and loyal to eachother? That's where the issue lies, not being sure of what your relationship with him really is. Does he express feelings of wanting to be with you like in a relationship or are you just unsure of where he stands at all with you?
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Because they know he's the guy I am talking to right now and he's the only one so they just expect it to be serious in a way. I am "dating" him in old school terms so in a way its like testing him if he does the right things AMD also vice versa.
Were not official because at the end of the day I believe were boh afraid of commitment. Were gonna live like two hrs away focusing on our career so we feel like not taking it to that next level is best to prevent really big issues in the future. I mean it does seem we are carrying everything a relationship possesses, loyalty and crazy about each other, so why not just call it official? It's just the idea of a relationship means more pressure and more problems and we wanna deal w those the least as possible. Of course if things were perfect and went the exact way I planned, I'd ask him to be my bf.
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Fall_leaves
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Yeah I see where you're coming from. So there are at least boundaries, either of you wouldn't be ok if the other cheated/lied. All that pressure and problems though kind of follow you whether or not you call it official. In the span of knowing eacother have you ever made it official or has this always been your relationship? I guess if you've always been between the lines then it might just work for you and making it official wouldn't make a difference.
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**Smacks Fall_leaves really hard in the face**