And well yeah any guy wouldn't mind having a girl or girls around them but when it comes to him, on the verge of breaking up, I would insist going over his place and he would always say yes. Now though, if i were to ask if I can see him, Im sure he wouldn't mind but he would say no because its "unhealthy." But again, why can he just be vulnerable and see me or let me go see him cause thats what we both want? This might sound funny but I just wish he wasn't so mature about this. Hes being mature knowing its unhealthy to see each other while broken up. Okay I get it but can we just follow our hearts?
Also I don't know whats "unhealthy" about seeing a person you like, love, unless there are more issues that really complicate things in the relationship.
Well we dont always have to conform to reality. I think thats what gets to people and thats how they become depressed but they dont realize they don't have to live only up to reality. They can make their reality.
And well we're not together because I believe you can say the distance. If it wasn't for the distance, yeah these other problems such as work schedules and other things still exist but by being near each other, it would be easier to solve. But the distance is what he kept bringing up as to why we should split.
Thats why he thinks it's unhealthy to see each other because of the distance. The more he sees me the more he wants to see me and that can't happen cause we're long distance so it basically hurts hence, it's unhealthy. This is what he said the other day. But after he did say he might come see me one day but who knows when. Overall, he just thinks he's doing the right thing by staying away from me. This is where I feel lost about what to do because if I could, I would move in with him but it's kind not a good thing to do right now. Again, Im thinking rationally, hes thinking rationally and it pretty much hurts to think rationally.
P.S. we are not that long distance, we're about 2 1/2 hrs away but it still feels like a hassle. We can't see each other every day or any time we want. We would have to arrange it. I just remember he said that these group of new friends hes made all have gfs and they're all there with them so it got to him that Im not always there with him. I told him to not let it get to him but he obviously didn't listen.
That is why my last relationship did not last because it was long-distance. But he is right about getting down because you can't be there with him all the time. What's keeping the two of you from moving in together, if not at least closer to each other. Would either of you be able to move or do your jobs prevent that all together. It's not that he did not listen, somethings can get to you, no matter what others say. I would be upset if the girl I wanted to be with didn't live close enough. You can't walk around any public place without seeing couples, which reminds you that you either can't be together, or that you are always alone.
Well he has been moving around he's not stable so if I were to move in with him is be moving around with him so what's there for me? Besides him. It looks like I have nothing going on and I do so that's why I can't really move in plus I can't afford to at the moment. With him moving closer to me, that'll leave him far from his job.
And yeah true we have been long distance for the past two years so yeah I get why he was prob tired of going back and forth on top of seeing all these couples. What hurts me tho is he just let it go he didn't even ask if we should move closer to each other or any other options he just gave up.
At the moment I'm still waiting for him to contact me it's been a week and a half since we last talked. I pray everyday he's gonna text or call me and then I can tell him all of this and possibly make it work.
1. Try and find a job near him, his job and get a place together so he can be more stable.
2. If he let it go just like that, then maybe you should too.
3. If he is out meeting new people I'm sure you can too, he isn't the only guy out there for you.
The fastest way to get over the "last one" is finding and meeting the "new one". That's kind of what dating is all about. Finding things out about yourself, finding out the type of person you can be most comfortable with, talk about anything, having no secrets. That way when you do find that someone, you can have a great relationship. Without all the wondering why that person cant give to you, the ALL you give to them.
How did you two first meet if it has been such a long-distance relationship for so long?
Well actually I forgot that he did say I can move in with him but he said he wouldn't want to get in my way of pursuing my career. Plus I think it's unattractive if I just move in with him like I have no life of my own. That's why we figured were not at that stage to make a big move cause we're still pursuing our goals.
I don't think he is meeting new people, he said he needed to be single and he's always working or with his family. Plus I don't see how he can meet people he's just in a different situation right now but who knows there's always a possibility of him meeting someone new and they're closer to him so of course she'll be a better option than me. But the thing is like I said he keeps moving around so he said he's tired of having long distance relationships. Even if he finds someone eventually they're gonna be long distance too so that's why most likely he's not gonna find someone new.
As for me, I'm not looking to find someone else. I rather be single than have someone else that's not him. I know I have options but even when I imagine it its just not the same. If it doesn't work with me and him then the next time I get in a relationship it'll be with someone who makes me feel the same way or better and that's kind of impossible.
We met in college and once we graduated we went our separate ways location wise and this is something else that makes me sad. We could've ended it there we weren't even official but he's the one who would come see me so in a way, if it wasn't for his effort we probably wouldn't have been together. I would've gone seen him first but I didn't wanna be so easy and I wanted him to prove to me he wanted to be with me and he did by insisting on visiting me.
Well I would like to think "true romance" and following your heart would be like a move. Happy ending and happily ever after. But the truth is more like reality, people change and want or feel like they need other things. Do you think he is afraid of being hurt again? What was the main reason you and him are...apart and not together as a couple right now?
Is it normal if I don't know or like having boundaries?
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And well yeah any guy wouldn't mind having a girl or girls around them but when it comes to him, on the verge of breaking up, I would insist going over his place and he would always say yes. Now though, if i were to ask if I can see him, Im sure he wouldn't mind but he would say no because its "unhealthy." But again, why can he just be vulnerable and see me or let me go see him cause thats what we both want? This might sound funny but I just wish he wasn't so mature about this. Hes being mature knowing its unhealthy to see each other while broken up. Okay I get it but can we just follow our hearts?
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VenomBurn
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I know Im a random person, but isnt following your heart actually the mature way? ;)
Also I don't know whats "unhealthy" about seeing a person you like, love, unless there are more issues that really complicate things in the relationship.
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Well we dont always have to conform to reality. I think thats what gets to people and thats how they become depressed but they dont realize they don't have to live only up to reality. They can make their reality.
And well we're not together because I believe you can say the distance. If it wasn't for the distance, yeah these other problems such as work schedules and other things still exist but by being near each other, it would be easier to solve. But the distance is what he kept bringing up as to why we should split.
Thats why he thinks it's unhealthy to see each other because of the distance. The more he sees me the more he wants to see me and that can't happen cause we're long distance so it basically hurts hence, it's unhealthy. This is what he said the other day. But after he did say he might come see me one day but who knows when. Overall, he just thinks he's doing the right thing by staying away from me. This is where I feel lost about what to do because if I could, I would move in with him but it's kind not a good thing to do right now. Again, Im thinking rationally, hes thinking rationally and it pretty much hurts to think rationally.
P.S. we are not that long distance, we're about 2 1/2 hrs away but it still feels like a hassle. We can't see each other every day or any time we want. We would have to arrange it. I just remember he said that these group of new friends hes made all have gfs and they're all there with them so it got to him that Im not always there with him. I told him to not let it get to him but he obviously didn't listen.
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That is why my last relationship did not last because it was long-distance. But he is right about getting down because you can't be there with him all the time. What's keeping the two of you from moving in together, if not at least closer to each other. Would either of you be able to move or do your jobs prevent that all together. It's not that he did not listen, somethings can get to you, no matter what others say. I would be upset if the girl I wanted to be with didn't live close enough. You can't walk around any public place without seeing couples, which reminds you that you either can't be together, or that you are always alone.
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Well he has been moving around he's not stable so if I were to move in with him is be moving around with him so what's there for me? Besides him. It looks like I have nothing going on and I do so that's why I can't really move in plus I can't afford to at the moment. With him moving closer to me, that'll leave him far from his job.
And yeah true we have been long distance for the past two years so yeah I get why he was prob tired of going back and forth on top of seeing all these couples. What hurts me tho is he just let it go he didn't even ask if we should move closer to each other or any other options he just gave up.
At the moment I'm still waiting for him to contact me it's been a week and a half since we last talked. I pray everyday he's gonna text or call me and then I can tell him all of this and possibly make it work.
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VenomBurn
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Well you have a few options then.
1. Try and find a job near him, his job and get a place together so he can be more stable.
2. If he let it go just like that, then maybe you should too.
3. If he is out meeting new people I'm sure you can too, he isn't the only guy out there for you.
The fastest way to get over the "last one" is finding and meeting the "new one". That's kind of what dating is all about. Finding things out about yourself, finding out the type of person you can be most comfortable with, talk about anything, having no secrets. That way when you do find that someone, you can have a great relationship. Without all the wondering why that person cant give to you, the ALL you give to them.
How did you two first meet if it has been such a long-distance relationship for so long?
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Well actually I forgot that he did say I can move in with him but he said he wouldn't want to get in my way of pursuing my career. Plus I think it's unattractive if I just move in with him like I have no life of my own. That's why we figured were not at that stage to make a big move cause we're still pursuing our goals.
I don't think he is meeting new people, he said he needed to be single and he's always working or with his family. Plus I don't see how he can meet people he's just in a different situation right now but who knows there's always a possibility of him meeting someone new and they're closer to him so of course she'll be a better option than me. But the thing is like I said he keeps moving around so he said he's tired of having long distance relationships. Even if he finds someone eventually they're gonna be long distance too so that's why most likely he's not gonna find someone new.
As for me, I'm not looking to find someone else. I rather be single than have someone else that's not him. I know I have options but even when I imagine it its just not the same. If it doesn't work with me and him then the next time I get in a relationship it'll be with someone who makes me feel the same way or better and that's kind of impossible.
We met in college and once we graduated we went our separate ways location wise and this is something else that makes me sad. We could've ended it there we weren't even official but he's the one who would come see me so in a way, if it wasn't for his effort we probably wouldn't have been together. I would've gone seen him first but I didn't wanna be so easy and I wanted him to prove to me he wanted to be with me and he did by insisting on visiting me.
Well I would like to think "true romance" and following your heart would be like a move. Happy ending and happily ever after. But the truth is more like reality, people change and want or feel like they need other things. Do you think he is afraid of being hurt again? What was the main reason you and him are...apart and not together as a couple right now?