I think the fact that Im bipolar about being vulnerable doesn't help my case at all. Sometimes I just wanna let it all go and tell him while other times I think I'm just willing to avoid him or give him somewhat of a hard time so he can work harder for me. But it always goes back to me wanting to be with him no matter what. I think Im just going to wait until the next time he contacts me which at this rate it might be for a while but knowing him it could be a in few min, hes just random like that. But I will tell him about how Im feeling andd possibly have something, maybe not too serious but still be committed to each other. I just dont want what you said in the beginning to happen, I dont want him to get away, I dont want to wonder what if when I know it can work but I obviously don't want to be all over him.
And yes I do feel like its going to be a long while til I find someone who makes me feel like he did (if I do find someone else and Im not with him). But at this point, I dont want anyone else and I dont think thats gonna stop me from finding someone else. Just cause Im not with him doesn't mean I get to explore and get around, thats definitely not what I wanna do because for me, Im taken by someone else even if we're not actually together. Until someone is able to take me away from him, Im always going to feel like Im with him. So when you say it can consume me, well yeah it is right now. Even if I get distracted and Im laughing having a good time, at the end of the day Im still sad without him. I come home and wish I was with him.
Yes, and I guess that when you are alone you imagine him there, what you would be doing or saying to each other. Or when you fall asleep, he is the last thing on your mind, right when you get up he is the first thing on your mind. Sounds like you have totally fallen for him. Who knows maybe he feels the same way, but he is afraid to tell you how he really feels. Some guys don't mind when girls want to be around them a lot. I don't know any straight guys who mind girls they like, being "on them" all the time. I can only guess your age, but you do sound somewhat young to me. Not that these things(feelings and emotions)ever really change as we get older, just more complicated.
Yes exactly. I actually pretend Im sleeping with him at night and in the morning. I mean he's really confusing and he says so himself that he is a complicated person and sometimes he doesn't even know what he wants. Thats another reason why I keep giving him a chance cause Im just being patient with him since I feel like there's some hope. Sometimes he would act questionable and sometimes I would ask him if hes into me and he would say stuff like "I would write a song for you but I cant write songs..." or "I dont know what I can do to show you how much you mean to me..." so at the end, I do feel like he might feel the same way but he is afraid which he did mentioned he was scared cause he got hurt when he was younger. But that was sucha long time ago and hes had other gfs after that plus I think I showed him how much I loved him that he shouldn't be afraid and he should trust me. He could also be afraid to ruin our relationship but overall, if hes scared I just wanna tell him to suck it up or just give us a chance dammit.
And well yeah any guy wouldn't mind having a girl or girls around them but when it comes to him, on the verge of breaking up, I would insist going over his place and he would always say yes. Now though, if i were to ask if I can see him, Im sure he wouldn't mind but he would say no because its "unhealthy." But again, why can he just be vulnerable and see me or let me go see him cause thats what we both want? This might sound funny but I just wish he wasn't so mature about this. Hes being mature knowing its unhealthy to see each other while broken up. Okay I get it but can we just follow our hearts?
Also I don't know whats "unhealthy" about seeing a person you like, love, unless there are more issues that really complicate things in the relationship.
Well we dont always have to conform to reality. I think thats what gets to people and thats how they become depressed but they dont realize they don't have to live only up to reality. They can make their reality.
And well we're not together because I believe you can say the distance. If it wasn't for the distance, yeah these other problems such as work schedules and other things still exist but by being near each other, it would be easier to solve. But the distance is what he kept bringing up as to why we should split.
Thats why he thinks it's unhealthy to see each other because of the distance. The more he sees me the more he wants to see me and that can't happen cause we're long distance so it basically hurts hence, it's unhealthy. This is what he said the other day. But after he did say he might come see me one day but who knows when. Overall, he just thinks he's doing the right thing by staying away from me. This is where I feel lost about what to do because if I could, I would move in with him but it's kind not a good thing to do right now. Again, Im thinking rationally, hes thinking rationally and it pretty much hurts to think rationally.
P.S. we are not that long distance, we're about 2 1/2 hrs away but it still feels like a hassle. We can't see each other every day or any time we want. We would have to arrange it. I just remember he said that these group of new friends hes made all have gfs and they're all there with them so it got to him that Im not always there with him. I told him to not let it get to him but he obviously didn't listen.
That is why my last relationship did not last because it was long-distance. But he is right about getting down because you can't be there with him all the time. What's keeping the two of you from moving in together, if not at least closer to each other. Would either of you be able to move or do your jobs prevent that all together. It's not that he did not listen, somethings can get to you, no matter what others say. I would be upset if the girl I wanted to be with didn't live close enough. You can't walk around any public place without seeing couples, which reminds you that you either can't be together, or that you are always alone.
Well he has been moving around he's not stable so if I were to move in with him is be moving around with him so what's there for me? Besides him. It looks like I have nothing going on and I do so that's why I can't really move in plus I can't afford to at the moment. With him moving closer to me, that'll leave him far from his job.
And yeah true we have been long distance for the past two years so yeah I get why he was prob tired of going back and forth on top of seeing all these couples. What hurts me tho is he just let it go he didn't even ask if we should move closer to each other or any other options he just gave up.
At the moment I'm still waiting for him to contact me it's been a week and a half since we last talked. I pray everyday he's gonna text or call me and then I can tell him all of this and possibly make it work.
Well I would like to think "true romance" and following your heart would be like a move. Happy ending and happily ever after. But the truth is more like reality, people change and want or feel like they need other things. Do you think he is afraid of being hurt again? What was the main reason you and him are...apart and not together as a couple right now?
Is it normal if I don't know or like having boundaries?
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I think the fact that Im bipolar about being vulnerable doesn't help my case at all. Sometimes I just wanna let it all go and tell him while other times I think I'm just willing to avoid him or give him somewhat of a hard time so he can work harder for me. But it always goes back to me wanting to be with him no matter what. I think Im just going to wait until the next time he contacts me which at this rate it might be for a while but knowing him it could be a in few min, hes just random like that. But I will tell him about how Im feeling andd possibly have something, maybe not too serious but still be committed to each other. I just dont want what you said in the beginning to happen, I dont want him to get away, I dont want to wonder what if when I know it can work but I obviously don't want to be all over him.
And yes I do feel like its going to be a long while til I find someone who makes me feel like he did (if I do find someone else and Im not with him). But at this point, I dont want anyone else and I dont think thats gonna stop me from finding someone else. Just cause Im not with him doesn't mean I get to explore and get around, thats definitely not what I wanna do because for me, Im taken by someone else even if we're not actually together. Until someone is able to take me away from him, Im always going to feel like Im with him. So when you say it can consume me, well yeah it is right now. Even if I get distracted and Im laughing having a good time, at the end of the day Im still sad without him. I come home and wish I was with him.
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VenomBurn
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Yes, and I guess that when you are alone you imagine him there, what you would be doing or saying to each other. Or when you fall asleep, he is the last thing on your mind, right when you get up he is the first thing on your mind. Sounds like you have totally fallen for him. Who knows maybe he feels the same way, but he is afraid to tell you how he really feels. Some guys don't mind when girls want to be around them a lot. I don't know any straight guys who mind girls they like, being "on them" all the time. I can only guess your age, but you do sound somewhat young to me. Not that these things(feelings and emotions)ever really change as we get older, just more complicated.
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Yes exactly. I actually pretend Im sleeping with him at night and in the morning. I mean he's really confusing and he says so himself that he is a complicated person and sometimes he doesn't even know what he wants. Thats another reason why I keep giving him a chance cause Im just being patient with him since I feel like there's some hope. Sometimes he would act questionable and sometimes I would ask him if hes into me and he would say stuff like "I would write a song for you but I cant write songs..." or "I dont know what I can do to show you how much you mean to me..." so at the end, I do feel like he might feel the same way but he is afraid which he did mentioned he was scared cause he got hurt when he was younger. But that was sucha long time ago and hes had other gfs after that plus I think I showed him how much I loved him that he shouldn't be afraid and he should trust me. He could also be afraid to ruin our relationship but overall, if hes scared I just wanna tell him to suck it up or just give us a chance dammit.
And well yeah any guy wouldn't mind having a girl or girls around them but when it comes to him, on the verge of breaking up, I would insist going over his place and he would always say yes. Now though, if i were to ask if I can see him, Im sure he wouldn't mind but he would say no because its "unhealthy." But again, why can he just be vulnerable and see me or let me go see him cause thats what we both want? This might sound funny but I just wish he wasn't so mature about this. Hes being mature knowing its unhealthy to see each other while broken up. Okay I get it but can we just follow our hearts?
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I know Im a random person, but isnt following your heart actually the mature way? ;)
Also I don't know whats "unhealthy" about seeing a person you like, love, unless there are more issues that really complicate things in the relationship.
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Well we dont always have to conform to reality. I think thats what gets to people and thats how they become depressed but they dont realize they don't have to live only up to reality. They can make their reality.
And well we're not together because I believe you can say the distance. If it wasn't for the distance, yeah these other problems such as work schedules and other things still exist but by being near each other, it would be easier to solve. But the distance is what he kept bringing up as to why we should split.
Thats why he thinks it's unhealthy to see each other because of the distance. The more he sees me the more he wants to see me and that can't happen cause we're long distance so it basically hurts hence, it's unhealthy. This is what he said the other day. But after he did say he might come see me one day but who knows when. Overall, he just thinks he's doing the right thing by staying away from me. This is where I feel lost about what to do because if I could, I would move in with him but it's kind not a good thing to do right now. Again, Im thinking rationally, hes thinking rationally and it pretty much hurts to think rationally.
P.S. we are not that long distance, we're about 2 1/2 hrs away but it still feels like a hassle. We can't see each other every day or any time we want. We would have to arrange it. I just remember he said that these group of new friends hes made all have gfs and they're all there with them so it got to him that Im not always there with him. I told him to not let it get to him but he obviously didn't listen.
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That is why my last relationship did not last because it was long-distance. But he is right about getting down because you can't be there with him all the time. What's keeping the two of you from moving in together, if not at least closer to each other. Would either of you be able to move or do your jobs prevent that all together. It's not that he did not listen, somethings can get to you, no matter what others say. I would be upset if the girl I wanted to be with didn't live close enough. You can't walk around any public place without seeing couples, which reminds you that you either can't be together, or that you are always alone.
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Well he has been moving around he's not stable so if I were to move in with him is be moving around with him so what's there for me? Besides him. It looks like I have nothing going on and I do so that's why I can't really move in plus I can't afford to at the moment. With him moving closer to me, that'll leave him far from his job.
And yeah true we have been long distance for the past two years so yeah I get why he was prob tired of going back and forth on top of seeing all these couples. What hurts me tho is he just let it go he didn't even ask if we should move closer to each other or any other options he just gave up.
At the moment I'm still waiting for him to contact me it's been a week and a half since we last talked. I pray everyday he's gonna text or call me and then I can tell him all of this and possibly make it work.
Well I would like to think "true romance" and following your heart would be like a move. Happy ending and happily ever after. But the truth is more like reality, people change and want or feel like they need other things. Do you think he is afraid of being hurt again? What was the main reason you and him are...apart and not together as a couple right now?