I think its good you don't want boundaries more people should wear their emotions on their sleeve like that. I think your BF might have not asked you out because like you said...to put it bluntly "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" So are you in a relationship with him or not I'm somewhat confused because you say its your BF then say "we aren't officially together"?
Right now we are not together. When we just broke up, he was still talking to me and in a normal way like referring me as his gf still. I was like I thought you wanted to end it? So Im not sure if he thought he can be single and still have me, or he was simply missing me. I confronted him about it and he apologized that he was talking to me in that certain way when he knows he shouldn't because we are not together anymore. After that, he continued to do so but now which is like a week later, we haven't talked. I think hes now trying his best to hold back from speaking to me which yeah its the right thing to do if he didn't want to be in a relationship but at the same time, I wish he would talk to me. I would respond to him and kind of be the same way but I dont want to risk him thinking like you said getting me for free without the commitment but if I hold back, hes not going to know my true feelings for him. Thats why I swallow my pride and still be available for him even if it makes me look easy cause truly I dont think thats the case.
And don't swallow your pride and be available for him, he will just keep doing it, knowing he doesn't have to do anything in return. How long will that go on for, before you are totally in love with him, and to him all you are is a bootybcall, don't get yourself hurt. It takes a really really long time to get over heartbreak. I still think about someone who l was with and its been two years. You eventually move on, but you will always wonder why it couldn't be the way you though it could or should have been. It can consume the way you feel about everything, yourself other potential relationships. Just a mess really.
I think the fact that Im bipolar about being vulnerable doesn't help my case at all. Sometimes I just wanna let it all go and tell him while other times I think I'm just willing to avoid him or give him somewhat of a hard time so he can work harder for me. But it always goes back to me wanting to be with him no matter what. I think Im just going to wait until the next time he contacts me which at this rate it might be for a while but knowing him it could be a in few min, hes just random like that. But I will tell him about how Im feeling andd possibly have something, maybe not too serious but still be committed to each other. I just dont want what you said in the beginning to happen, I dont want him to get away, I dont want to wonder what if when I know it can work but I obviously don't want to be all over him.
And yes I do feel like its going to be a long while til I find someone who makes me feel like he did (if I do find someone else and Im not with him). But at this point, I dont want anyone else and I dont think thats gonna stop me from finding someone else. Just cause Im not with him doesn't mean I get to explore and get around, thats definitely not what I wanna do because for me, Im taken by someone else even if we're not actually together. Until someone is able to take me away from him, Im always going to feel like Im with him. So when you say it can consume me, well yeah it is right now. Even if I get distracted and Im laughing having a good time, at the end of the day Im still sad without him. I come home and wish I was with him.
Yes, and I guess that when you are alone you imagine him there, what you would be doing or saying to each other. Or when you fall asleep, he is the last thing on your mind, right when you get up he is the first thing on your mind. Sounds like you have totally fallen for him. Who knows maybe he feels the same way, but he is afraid to tell you how he really feels. Some guys don't mind when girls want to be around them a lot. I don't know any straight guys who mind girls they like, being "on them" all the time. I can only guess your age, but you do sound somewhat young to me. Not that these things(feelings and emotions)ever really change as we get older, just more complicated.
Yes exactly. I actually pretend Im sleeping with him at night and in the morning. I mean he's really confusing and he says so himself that he is a complicated person and sometimes he doesn't even know what he wants. Thats another reason why I keep giving him a chance cause Im just being patient with him since I feel like there's some hope. Sometimes he would act questionable and sometimes I would ask him if hes into me and he would say stuff like "I would write a song for you but I cant write songs..." or "I dont know what I can do to show you how much you mean to me..." so at the end, I do feel like he might feel the same way but he is afraid which he did mentioned he was scared cause he got hurt when he was younger. But that was sucha long time ago and hes had other gfs after that plus I think I showed him how much I loved him that he shouldn't be afraid and he should trust me. He could also be afraid to ruin our relationship but overall, if hes scared I just wanna tell him to suck it up or just give us a chance dammit.
And well yeah any guy wouldn't mind having a girl or girls around them but when it comes to him, on the verge of breaking up, I would insist going over his place and he would always say yes. Now though, if i were to ask if I can see him, Im sure he wouldn't mind but he would say no because its "unhealthy." But again, why can he just be vulnerable and see me or let me go see him cause thats what we both want? This might sound funny but I just wish he wasn't so mature about this. Hes being mature knowing its unhealthy to see each other while broken up. Okay I get it but can we just follow our hearts?
Also I don't know whats "unhealthy" about seeing a person you like, love, unless there are more issues that really complicate things in the relationship.
Well I would like to think "true romance" and following your heart would be like a move. Happy ending and happily ever after. But the truth is more like reality, people change and want or feel like they need other things. Do you think he is afraid of being hurt again? What was the main reason you and him are...apart and not together as a couple right now?
Well if you really like him, then don't hold back, you will regret it later if he becomes "the one who got away". Tell him if you have feelings for each other, then why not be serious about your relationship. If he just doesn't want to be in a relationship so that way he can date other girls...l don't think he is ready to be commited to one person. And maybe he doesn't deserve you if you are willing to be that one person committed to him, and only him. I don't think you are being "easy" persay, its more like you want him and to be intimate with him. That's what people do who like each other.
Is it normal if I don't know or like having boundaries?
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I think its good you don't want boundaries more people should wear their emotions on their sleeve like that. I think your BF might have not asked you out because like you said...to put it bluntly "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" So are you in a relationship with him or not I'm somewhat confused because you say its your BF then say "we aren't officially together"?
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Right now we are not together. When we just broke up, he was still talking to me and in a normal way like referring me as his gf still. I was like I thought you wanted to end it? So Im not sure if he thought he can be single and still have me, or he was simply missing me. I confronted him about it and he apologized that he was talking to me in that certain way when he knows he shouldn't because we are not together anymore. After that, he continued to do so but now which is like a week later, we haven't talked. I think hes now trying his best to hold back from speaking to me which yeah its the right thing to do if he didn't want to be in a relationship but at the same time, I wish he would talk to me. I would respond to him and kind of be the same way but I dont want to risk him thinking like you said getting me for free without the commitment but if I hold back, hes not going to know my true feelings for him. Thats why I swallow my pride and still be available for him even if it makes me look easy cause truly I dont think thats the case.
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And don't swallow your pride and be available for him, he will just keep doing it, knowing he doesn't have to do anything in return. How long will that go on for, before you are totally in love with him, and to him all you are is a bootybcall, don't get yourself hurt. It takes a really really long time to get over heartbreak. I still think about someone who l was with and its been two years. You eventually move on, but you will always wonder why it couldn't be the way you though it could or should have been. It can consume the way you feel about everything, yourself other potential relationships. Just a mess really.
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I think the fact that Im bipolar about being vulnerable doesn't help my case at all. Sometimes I just wanna let it all go and tell him while other times I think I'm just willing to avoid him or give him somewhat of a hard time so he can work harder for me. But it always goes back to me wanting to be with him no matter what. I think Im just going to wait until the next time he contacts me which at this rate it might be for a while but knowing him it could be a in few min, hes just random like that. But I will tell him about how Im feeling andd possibly have something, maybe not too serious but still be committed to each other. I just dont want what you said in the beginning to happen, I dont want him to get away, I dont want to wonder what if when I know it can work but I obviously don't want to be all over him.
And yes I do feel like its going to be a long while til I find someone who makes me feel like he did (if I do find someone else and Im not with him). But at this point, I dont want anyone else and I dont think thats gonna stop me from finding someone else. Just cause Im not with him doesn't mean I get to explore and get around, thats definitely not what I wanna do because for me, Im taken by someone else even if we're not actually together. Until someone is able to take me away from him, Im always going to feel like Im with him. So when you say it can consume me, well yeah it is right now. Even if I get distracted and Im laughing having a good time, at the end of the day Im still sad without him. I come home and wish I was with him.
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Yes, and I guess that when you are alone you imagine him there, what you would be doing or saying to each other. Or when you fall asleep, he is the last thing on your mind, right when you get up he is the first thing on your mind. Sounds like you have totally fallen for him. Who knows maybe he feels the same way, but he is afraid to tell you how he really feels. Some guys don't mind when girls want to be around them a lot. I don't know any straight guys who mind girls they like, being "on them" all the time. I can only guess your age, but you do sound somewhat young to me. Not that these things(feelings and emotions)ever really change as we get older, just more complicated.
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Yes exactly. I actually pretend Im sleeping with him at night and in the morning. I mean he's really confusing and he says so himself that he is a complicated person and sometimes he doesn't even know what he wants. Thats another reason why I keep giving him a chance cause Im just being patient with him since I feel like there's some hope. Sometimes he would act questionable and sometimes I would ask him if hes into me and he would say stuff like "I would write a song for you but I cant write songs..." or "I dont know what I can do to show you how much you mean to me..." so at the end, I do feel like he might feel the same way but he is afraid which he did mentioned he was scared cause he got hurt when he was younger. But that was sucha long time ago and hes had other gfs after that plus I think I showed him how much I loved him that he shouldn't be afraid and he should trust me. He could also be afraid to ruin our relationship but overall, if hes scared I just wanna tell him to suck it up or just give us a chance dammit.
And well yeah any guy wouldn't mind having a girl or girls around them but when it comes to him, on the verge of breaking up, I would insist going over his place and he would always say yes. Now though, if i were to ask if I can see him, Im sure he wouldn't mind but he would say no because its "unhealthy." But again, why can he just be vulnerable and see me or let me go see him cause thats what we both want? This might sound funny but I just wish he wasn't so mature about this. Hes being mature knowing its unhealthy to see each other while broken up. Okay I get it but can we just follow our hearts?
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I know Im a random person, but isnt following your heart actually the mature way? ;)
Also I don't know whats "unhealthy" about seeing a person you like, love, unless there are more issues that really complicate things in the relationship.
Well I would like to think "true romance" and following your heart would be like a move. Happy ending and happily ever after. But the truth is more like reality, people change and want or feel like they need other things. Do you think he is afraid of being hurt again? What was the main reason you and him are...apart and not together as a couple right now?
Well if you really like him, then don't hold back, you will regret it later if he becomes "the one who got away". Tell him if you have feelings for each other, then why not be serious about your relationship. If he just doesn't want to be in a relationship so that way he can date other girls...l don't think he is ready to be commited to one person. And maybe he doesn't deserve you if you are willing to be that one person committed to him, and only him. I don't think you are being "easy" persay, its more like you want him and to be intimate with him. That's what people do who like each other.