Is it normal if i don't feel a lot of sympathy when someone dies?

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13 Comments

Well, I've never had anyone close to me that has died so I don't really know what it feels like.

Is It Normal?
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  • joybird
    11 years ago | pl

    This is a daft question! Obviously if you've never had anyone close to you die, you can't feel the same sympathy coz you can't relate to their situation.

    Come back when you lose a parent / child :o(

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago | pl

    As Ono said, everyone reacts differently.

    I personally do not get overly emotional at funerals either. However... I also no longer feel bad about this.

    At the last funeral I attended I realized something... I didn't know the man well and was generally disappointed that such a well-loved man had been killed, but I barely knew him. But my friends knew him well and they were truly grieving.

    It was then I realized what I could do. There was work to be done, work that the others normally took care of - but they were busy crying. So I took over their tasks.

    That's when I realized - those of us who are unemotional at funerals serve a purpose. We take care of those who are grieving. We take on work so that others are free to mourn.

    And in that way, we too are showing respect for the dead, by using our own natures as a service to others.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago | pl

      I don't really see the point in going to a funeral of someone I don't know. If it's someone they do know, then I don't see why they would feel sympathy for those mourning if they don't care about the person they knew that has died...Just a bit confused about that. Unless someone can be upset by others being upset but not by someone's death, then I can see where you're coming from.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        11 years ago | pl

        Ah - I forgot to mention I was in the church choir at the time. Normally we didn't do funerals but this was for the former choir director. So yes, I only met him once, but everyone in the choir attended.

        So although I didn't know him, I could see how much he'd meant to the others in the choir, and the thought of skipping out never even occurred to me.

        But even if you know the deceased - if you don't feel much grief, it's OK. Use it to assist others and let them mourn. Turn it into something positive.

        (Not to mention relatives aren't going to badger you about not being emotional, when you're being helpful and considerate to them.)

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago | pl

          Ah, ok. Thanks for explaining.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago | pl

    For me, it really depends on the person.

    I've had family members to die and it really didn't effect me. I just could relate.
    I did have a friend to die a few years ago and a part of me still hasn't gotten over it yet.

    I say you're normal.

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    • hemper
      11 years ago | pl

      this

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      • shuggy-chan
        11 years ago | pl

        depend on how close and involed with your life i think. if it was someone you saw everday it diffrent then if it was a distant relative.

        i felt sad but more detached when my grandma died, cause i only met her only and she was on the otherside of the country. but when my cat died last year that we had since i was 5, it was really hard. well also cause she dies literally in my hands in front of me, but it still sad either way. Cause i wish i could have spend more time with my obachan, (grandma) she was this funny lil japanese lady that looked like she could fit in my pocket. =/

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  • lostred
    11 years ago | pl

    yeah i'm like this i never know what i'm meant to say..

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  • Glass
    11 years ago | pl

    Well, you can't care about everyone.

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  • BurnaBaby27
    11 years ago | pl

    It's called empathy.
    I've never lost anyone that close to me either, but I put myself in others shoes. If a parent loses a child or someone loses their parent, sibling, significant other, close friend, someone close to them, I can imagine how hard it is because I love them all so much and would know how terrible I'd feel if I lost them.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago | pl

    I'm not much of a sympathetic person. A few people have died in my family, and I haven't even cared much about it.

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  • Ono
    11 years ago | pl

    Everyone reacts differently with death. Some don't bother you at all and others can really get to you, there's no rule on how one will affect you than another.

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