I want to say I don't care for this sort of behavior but ironically I do the same damn thing. I even hold most of them dear in my heart but for whatever reason we drift apart. I think this sort of thing happens more often with women than men in my humble opinion. I find that lots of chicks have this awful codependent streak that runs through their friendships where they expect one another to conform to their expectations rather than accepting or rejecting each other as they are. If someone expects me to change myself for her friendship it's better to say bugger off. For instance, I'm through with being friends with women who dwell on their ex's or define themselves by their romantic relationship status. I recently started hanging out with tomboy types and they're more fun. Some are single, some are in relationships, most are straight but some are queer and yeah they talk about relationships but they don't get obsessive and dwell on things. So basically if someone drains me then I don't need to be around them; it's toxic for me and I have to move on.
I could also be picky with friends, too. If I see that we probably won't get along or we don't have the same taste in things, I stay away before it gets awkward. So its just a hi and bye "friendship."
Yeah, I think the key is to not engage with people once I get those red flags about personality traits and character flaws. Also I'm trying to really take my time to get to know people. I don't need to hear someone's whole life story the first time I meet them nor do I need to share mine and the same goes for sharing dark personal secrets. I feel like over sharing with the wrong people creates weird bonds between people who are probably otherwise incompatible for friendship. I can have a lot in common with a person on a surface level but be incompatible because the level of boundaries I have to keep with the person are not conducive to friendship. I feel like I've been growing emotionally and mentally a lot within the past year and certain types of people I would have befriended in the past and related to I now find I can't seem to get far enough away from.
Is it normal if I cut off people and I'm fine with that?
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I want to say I don't care for this sort of behavior but ironically I do the same damn thing. I even hold most of them dear in my heart but for whatever reason we drift apart. I think this sort of thing happens more often with women than men in my humble opinion. I find that lots of chicks have this awful codependent streak that runs through their friendships where they expect one another to conform to their expectations rather than accepting or rejecting each other as they are. If someone expects me to change myself for her friendship it's better to say bugger off. For instance, I'm through with being friends with women who dwell on their ex's or define themselves by their romantic relationship status. I recently started hanging out with tomboy types and they're more fun. Some are single, some are in relationships, most are straight but some are queer and yeah they talk about relationships but they don't get obsessive and dwell on things. So basically if someone drains me then I don't need to be around them; it's toxic for me and I have to move on.
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Anonymous Post Author
10 years ago
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I could also be picky with friends, too. If I see that we probably won't get along or we don't have the same taste in things, I stay away before it gets awkward. So its just a hi and bye "friendship."
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RoseIsabella
10 years ago
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Yeah, I think the key is to not engage with people once I get those red flags about personality traits and character flaws. Also I'm trying to really take my time to get to know people. I don't need to hear someone's whole life story the first time I meet them nor do I need to share mine and the same goes for sharing dark personal secrets. I feel like over sharing with the wrong people creates weird bonds between people who are probably otherwise incompatible for friendship. I can have a lot in common with a person on a surface level but be incompatible because the level of boundaries I have to keep with the person are not conducive to friendship. I feel like I've been growing emotionally and mentally a lot within the past year and certain types of people I would have befriended in the past and related to I now find I can't seem to get far enough away from.