Yep cause females never show mixed signals. Maybe you are the "bad guy" in the situation when you bring it up, or maybe not. I don't know because you are not saying what you say to him and exactly what he says in response. Can you be more specific?
Me: "howcome you took your former fling to your family but you havent taken me?"
Him: "she's like someone I'm not gonna be w at all so it's like me playing with her. You're my target to be with long-term. I let you hang out w my sister so doesn't that tell you anything?"
I laughed that off. How does that even make sense? Like yeah you did let me be with you and your sister so that should tell me something yet you let your "supposedly meaningless fling" hang out with your whole family on a holiday? Sooooo I am also just a meaningless fling? or your meaningless fling actually carries a little more meaning than your supposed "long-term gf" ?? He was basically trying to make me look like the bad guy wanting more from him even if I got to hang out w his sister. This guy obviously had a hard time bullshitting his way out of this conversation by saying nonsense things.
And the most hilarious part is he knows he looked like an idiot explaining himself yet he is so full of of his ego that he cannot admit it when he is wrong.
Yep so nothing he said there makes you out to be the bad guy or even sugguests it. So as I suspected, you just didn't like his answer and over dramatized it in you head. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
I would have no reason to be biased, I don't know either one of you. Also, even if it didn't make sense that wouldn't mean he's making you the "bad guy". The very idea that someone must be the bad guy is childish.
But yes, it does make perfect sense to me. Not everyone puts so much emphasis on the scenario in which family is met as you do. In his mind, she met family, and you have met family, and there is really no difference. That is a valid belief, that you might not agree with, but that many people, including myself, would.
She may have met more family, though you indicate that you have at least spoken to some, but all that could be based on the scenario and circumstances that were playing out than and now, and have nothing to do with you or her.
Example...
A guy meets a girl. They see each other once or twice, not serious. A family member is getting married next week so he invites her to go with him because he has no date. Shortly after, they stop seeing each other. Does that mean that when he has a more serious girl friend in the future, until he also takes her to a family wedding, she is automatically less important to him? No, that is silly.
What makes no sense to me is the concept that he has to arrange a family holiday and bring you along just to prove to you that you are as important, or more important, than some past girl.
I'm not the only one who believes meeting the family is a good indication of how much the person is into their partner. This is a really obvious and straight up way of saying "hey I see you more than just a girl I'm seeing." I mean he said it himself. He tried proving to me that I am more than just a fling by bringing up the fact he let me hang out with his sibling. Yet, he's contradicting himself because he did bring a girl who was "just a fling" to meet his family. How am I supposed to believe his train of thought when he's going against his word? How do I know she's just a fling? Because he said it himself, she's someone he's not gonna be w at all so he's just playing w her like a little plaything.
It's like saying I'll only wear yellow underwear to an event thats really valuable to me and I wore yellow underwear to just go to the gas station.
"I'm not the only one who believes meeting the family is a good indication of how much the person is into their partner."
The very fact that you said this means that you are either not reading, or not comprehending, anything that I am saying to you. You are not just talking about meeting his family, you are talking about the specific scenario in which you must meet his family.
You have met his sister, you have spoken to other family. But because she got to do it at a family holiday, and you didn't, you somehow deem it better or more important. I don't think that makes any difference at all, and I find nothing unusual about him feeling the same way.
Also, your example is nonsense...
"It's like saying I'll only wear yellow underwear to an event that's really valuable to me and I wore yellow underwear to just go to the gas station. "
That only makes sense if someone actually said that about the "yellow underwear" in the first place. Sense, clearly the "yellow underwear" is a girl, unless he said "I will only take girls that are important to me to meet my family", your metaphor just doesn't work. That, on top of the fact that you have met family.
IIN if he took his fling to a holiday w his family but not his gf?
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Yep cause females never show mixed signals. Maybe you are the "bad guy" in the situation when you bring it up, or maybe not. I don't know because you are not saying what you say to him and exactly what he says in response. Can you be more specific?
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Anonymous Post Author
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Me: "howcome you took your former fling to your family but you havent taken me?"
Him: "she's like someone I'm not gonna be w at all so it's like me playing with her. You're my target to be with long-term. I let you hang out w my sister so doesn't that tell you anything?"
I laughed that off. How does that even make sense? Like yeah you did let me be with you and your sister so that should tell me something yet you let your "supposedly meaningless fling" hang out with your whole family on a holiday? Sooooo I am also just a meaningless fling? or your meaningless fling actually carries a little more meaning than your supposed "long-term gf" ?? He was basically trying to make me look like the bad guy wanting more from him even if I got to hang out w his sister. This guy obviously had a hard time bullshitting his way out of this conversation by saying nonsense things.
And the most hilarious part is he knows he looked like an idiot explaining himself yet he is so full of of his ego that he cannot admit it when he is wrong.
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VinnyB
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Yep so nothing he said there makes you out to be the bad guy or even sugguests it. So as I suspected, you just didn't like his answer and over dramatized it in you head. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
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So you actually believe what he said? Even when it doesn't make sense? I think you might be biased here...
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VinnyB
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I would have no reason to be biased, I don't know either one of you. Also, even if it didn't make sense that wouldn't mean he's making you the "bad guy". The very idea that someone must be the bad guy is childish.
But yes, it does make perfect sense to me. Not everyone puts so much emphasis on the scenario in which family is met as you do. In his mind, she met family, and you have met family, and there is really no difference. That is a valid belief, that you might not agree with, but that many people, including myself, would.
She may have met more family, though you indicate that you have at least spoken to some, but all that could be based on the scenario and circumstances that were playing out than and now, and have nothing to do with you or her.
Example...
A guy meets a girl. They see each other once or twice, not serious. A family member is getting married next week so he invites her to go with him because he has no date. Shortly after, they stop seeing each other. Does that mean that when he has a more serious girl friend in the future, until he also takes her to a family wedding, she is automatically less important to him? No, that is silly.
What makes no sense to me is the concept that he has to arrange a family holiday and bring you along just to prove to you that you are as important, or more important, than some past girl.
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I'm not the only one who believes meeting the family is a good indication of how much the person is into their partner. This is a really obvious and straight up way of saying "hey I see you more than just a girl I'm seeing." I mean he said it himself. He tried proving to me that I am more than just a fling by bringing up the fact he let me hang out with his sibling. Yet, he's contradicting himself because he did bring a girl who was "just a fling" to meet his family. How am I supposed to believe his train of thought when he's going against his word? How do I know she's just a fling? Because he said it himself, she's someone he's not gonna be w at all so he's just playing w her like a little plaything.
It's like saying I'll only wear yellow underwear to an event thats really valuable to me and I wore yellow underwear to just go to the gas station.
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"I'm not the only one who believes meeting the family is a good indication of how much the person is into their partner."
The very fact that you said this means that you are either not reading, or not comprehending, anything that I am saying to you. You are not just talking about meeting his family, you are talking about the specific scenario in which you must meet his family.
You have met his sister, you have spoken to other family. But because she got to do it at a family holiday, and you didn't, you somehow deem it better or more important. I don't think that makes any difference at all, and I find nothing unusual about him feeling the same way.
Also, your example is nonsense...
"It's like saying I'll only wear yellow underwear to an event that's really valuable to me and I wore yellow underwear to just go to the gas station. "
That only makes sense if someone actually said that about the "yellow underwear" in the first place. Sense, clearly the "yellow underwear" is a girl, unless he said "I will only take girls that are important to me to meet my family", your metaphor just doesn't work. That, on top of the fact that you have met family.