Is it normal i would feel relieved dating an asexual?

56% Normal
3 Comments

I am a bisexual girl that isn't entirely out of the closet, I have only told one of my friends.
I figured out I was bisexual after one of my best friends told me she was bisexual, so then I told her I am, too. I didn't expect anything to develop between us, but I was wrong, because a few weeks later she asked me out. I ignored it and tried to brush it off partly because I am not out of the closet yet and I don't want my family to know, and partly because I didn't have feelings for her. She eventually stopped asking, we are still best friends, but she still keeps asking me to kiss her 'just for fun', and besides that, she has one of the largest sex drives of anyone I know.
I know another girl, and she is open about being asexual (not wanting to kiss or have sex with anyone). Recently, I have been hanging out with her a lot more often than normal. Based on her body language, the amount of time she wants to hang out together, and the way she acts around me in comparison to her other friends, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that she likes me. And... I think I like her, too. Since she told me she is asexual, I thought I might be disappointed dating her, but I'm actually relived knowing that she won't ask me to kiss her. Despite the fact that I don't consider myself asexual. So here are my questions: Am I actually asexual because I worry if someone may ask me to kiss them? Or is my relief a byproduct of my stressful relationship with my best friend who kept asking my to kiss her? Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • prasatko
    10 years ago | pl

    Go for the asexual friend - she seems to be the right choice for you as an intimate relationship with her would give you much needed space and time to decide or to see whether you are bisexual or asexual or one of those women whose sexuality is fluid and constantly changing.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    2
    2
  • acidlor
    10 years ago | pl

    Hmm that's a tough one. I want to say that maybe you might not even be bi-sexual. You might actually be asexual. Bi-sexual is literally sticking your hand down someone's pants and being completely okay with whatever outcome you get (male/female. Don't get me confused with pansexuality).

    However, you might just be completely confused and need some time to think about things. Basically, what I'd do if I was in your situation, is to totally sit it out, think about what you wanna do, and what your body needs. It's totally awesome to be a cuddle buddy for an asexual person. My best friend is asexual (I'm a female and he's a male). I would have totally been his cuddle buddy if I hadn't started dating this guy named Jack. Even still, me and my asexual friend still snuggle once in a while. It's just nice to feel that personal contact without there having to be this huge sexual thing. To me, having an asexual snuggle buddy is like family. You feel so comfortable with that person that you can lay your head on their shoulder, sleep next to them, sit in their lap, but there isn't anything romantic about it at all.

    And hey, if you really feel like you need to have sex with a girl or a guy, then do it. If you're comfortable with it or your body is telling you that you need that level of intimacy with a person, then go out there and get you some. lol.

    If you have any questions, or need someone to talk to, you can email me at [email protected]. And if anyone else has issues with this kind of thing, they can email me too. ^_^

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
  • quentari
    10 years ago | pl

    the relief is caused by stress. if the asexual girl's bi-romantic enough (i love making up words on the internet)to seek a relationship then she may be relieved you're not wanting sex yet either. ask her out, it'd also stop (or slow down) your other friend too :)

    And come out to your parents at least as soon as you are ready.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0