You just need to give yourself time to get to know the right people. It took me a long time to make good friends that I was comfortable enough around to be myself. A few years, actually. I put up a mask for everyone except these close friends. It's just how things work, gotta be patient. Sometimes just step outside of your comfort zone and you never know who you can meet. Life will give you what you need to take in strides.
Is it normal I want to date someone who I can be silent with?
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You just need to give yourself time to get to know the right people. It took me a long time to make good friends that I was comfortable enough around to be myself. A few years, actually. I put up a mask for everyone except these close friends. It's just how things work, gotta be patient. Sometimes just step outside of your comfort zone and you never know who you can meet. Life will give you what you need to take in strides.