Is it normal i want to be sparked by my future boyfriend?

I read fanfics about spankings, and it got me into it. I want my “future” boyfriend to accept me and I’m afraid he won’t. I want to be spanked as “discipline” as well as sexually.

Voting Results
91% Normal
Based on 22 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Make sure he keeps the voltage down.

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  • Pumpurrnickel

    That's a fairly tame fetish in my opinion. I'm sure you'll find someone who doesn't think it's weird.

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  • HypnoDom

    That's one of the most common kinks out there, so it probably won't be too hard to find someone who's into that :) It's something you can bring up after a few dates, or you can use a site like FetLife to find people who share your interests.

    As for using it for discipline, that's something you can explore and discuss with your play partner. Personally, I tend not to use a lot of corporeal punishment. My philosophy on punishment in BDSM is that I don't want to motivate the girl to misbehave more. I might bind and gag a girl, spank her, tease her, edge her or do intense forms of play as normal play or a reward. If she misbehaves I might spank her a little, but tend to rely on corner time, writing lines, lectures and what I've found to be the ultimate punishment--depriving her of attention, if she was very bad. I would generally reserve "funishment" for roleplay scenarios. Perhaps you're a secretary that keeps making mistakes on the paperwork. Lean over the desk girl, time for a spanking!

    Of course, everyone has their own preferences and styles. It's wonderful and beautiful that you're learning more about yourself and are exploring your kinks. :) Do what makes you and your play partners happy!

    What else do you hope to try with your future boyfriend?

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  • Spanking is fine providing you are happy to receive it and he is happy to give it out. I would recommend a safe word though just in case he starts to really enjoy himself and gets a bit carried away.

    My husband has spanked me before because he said I deserved it. The first time it happened I didn’t ask for it and didn’t say he could do it so he shouldn’t have really. Afterwards I asked why he did it and apparently it was how his father carried on when he was growing up. He used to do it to my husband his sister and his mother quite a lot. He just lost the plot a bit and was really sorry afterwards. Anyway since then I told him it was ok if he felt the need. I quite enjoyed it really him being all masterful and taking me in hand. He has done it a few times since over the years but only because I push his buttons intentionally and tease him to make him do it. We came to an agreement after the first time that if he ever spanks me I have to endure it as long and hard as possible until either I use our safe word or he has had enough. But afterwards he has to be really sorry and give me a good long massage followed by an orgasm. Afterwards he has to give me an orgasm every morning and every night but he’s not allowed to cum. That must continue for as long as I see fit. I usually make it last 2 to 3 weeks.

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  • I would spank and then kiss and eat your ass to be forgiven for being a bad boy. Would you like that?

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  • Nickvey

    if you need the spanking to help you cum i dont think he would have a problem with it. i have been asked to tie up hands and blindfold during sex.

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  • CDmale4fem

    I would say you have a much better chance to find a guy to accept you as you are and be able to participate and still give you what you will need to scratch your itch. I'm just curious- you are female? (Help you with your spanking stuff) than I'm going to have in finding a woman to accept me as I am or at least be ok with it and be willing to give it a try.

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    • Yes I am female :)

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      • CDmale4fem

        If he won't give it a go, I'm open to try new things. Lol
        Oh that's right, you do not currently have a someone to try spanking your bare butt. (I'm still willing to give it a go.)

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  • Boojum

    I assumed from the title you were into tasers and cattle prods.

    Some guys can accept this, some have problems with it.

    Assholes who like inflicting pain - emotional and physical - will have no problems beating on your ass. A lot of guys who are more sensitive and caring will have problems with it.

    You need to find a guy who understands that what happens during sex can be separate from the rest of your lives together. It's entirely possible for a guy to respect and love a woman, and yet give her ass a good whupping because that's what she wants.

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    • lmao no I meant spanking. My phone did autocorrect on me. But you’re exactly right.

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    • I am sensitive and caring and I love spanking her. I am not saying this contradicts what you said, since you said "a lot", not "all", but just mentioning it. I find it totally sexually and nothing else so I do not get any kind of sick pleasure from hurting her.

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      • Boojum

        The point I wanted to make is that the immediate reaction of guys who are respectful of women can be along the lines of, "WTF! I can't do that to you!" because they see it as disrespectful and demeaning.

        A lot of women struggle with this urge for the same reasons.

        Both need to understand that it is possible to compartmentalise what happens during sex. In fact, the best sex happens when we're with someone we trust enough to feel completely free to act on all our deepest urges and desires, particularly ones that society tells us are wrong.

        I've never been with a woman who was into getting spanked, but I know from personal experience that it's entirely possible to call a woman a slut - and much worse - in bed because she gets off on that, but to still respect her and regard her as an equal partner outside of sex. In fact, that dichotomy between normal life and sex actually makes the name-calling even more potent.

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        • Yes, I do all that slut calling and so, but this has nothing to do with respect.

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