It's really a shame. I've made stories where I was really wanting people's opinions and I was made into a joke. Me being called a child and "How did this get through moderation?" Negative comments thumbed all the way up while the nice and even helpful comments stayed at the bottom. It upset me at first, but I learned to not care so much. There are good people on this sight and at least one is bound to say something productive and respectful.
Sometimes members I admire can say mean things, but there's only so much commenters can say based off a short snippet of what the OP has said. There's much room for misinterpreting someone's situation, we can only write so much without it becoming a novel. ;)
One of my stories I asked something about not getting up to do anything all day and I was attacked for being a lazy asshole who lives off her parents when in reality I've lived on my own and have had a job since I was 16 , full time for the most part. I left just one detail out and all goes to hell. Lol.
I'm not going to censor myself, at least try not to. I've been doing a pretty good job at it lately and whenever I get a negative response I just laugh if off. It's freeing being able to say and be who you truly are, it's worth a few insults because there are just as many people who appreciate your honestly. (Even if you can't see it.) People are more likely to go out of their way to complain about something than praise something. Same as in off the Internet life.
Maybe people in general just need to learn to focus on the positives. Anyone can look around and see negatives everywhere, sometimes it takes some effort to look for the beauty in each day. But it's everywhere, you just need to learn to take it with the ugliness around it. Duality is something that people really seem to struggle with, I don't know how historical this is but at least in discussion with people my generation (and a bit above, I have friends ranging from 16 into their 30s and 40s @.@)there seems to be a prevalence of black and white thinking.
I try very hard not to censor myself but also to always be respectful, but I know in the future I'm going to be more careful with posting something extremely vulnerable. Most things I'm able to shrug off pretty easily, the meaner shit that was on my last post didn't get to me too badly (maybe just a little at first :P) but the post I deleted, the top comment was pretty much the most painful thing I could hear in that situation. It's so bad I won't even talk about it anymore and it's made me much more self conscious about the issue in real life as well as on here.
And people do love to make assumptions don't they? It happens to the best of us, earlier a user I like quite a bit mistakenly thought I was in high school, lived at home, and never had pets because I left that information out of my comment. It was easily enough amended, and that's how it is with the people who are worth it... have a misunderstanding? Clarify and fix it and be friends again. Yay.
I think you've basically answered your own post with the best advice you could give yourself:
"People in general just need to learn to focus on the positives. Anyone can look around and see negatives everywhere, sometimes it takes some effort to look for the beauty in each day. But it's everywhere, you just need to learn to take it with the ugliness around it."
Focus on the positives of IIN and accept the inevitable ugliness with the beauty, then you won't feel so upset or so victimised, and you won't need to post stories like this :)
Funny how that happens. Discussing the issues is a fantastic prompt for figuring shit out on your own XD I think a lot of times all you need is that internal dialouge, that's why talking really helps so much. A little bit of it is venting but I think far more of it is giving you time and focus to work out your own solutions.
And I was partly doing this for others as well, because I know I'm not the only one and some people get picked on way worse than me.
Is it normal I've apparently made some enemies here?
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It's really a shame. I've made stories where I was really wanting people's opinions and I was made into a joke. Me being called a child and "How did this get through moderation?" Negative comments thumbed all the way up while the nice and even helpful comments stayed at the bottom. It upset me at first, but I learned to not care so much. There are good people on this sight and at least one is bound to say something productive and respectful.
Sometimes members I admire can say mean things, but there's only so much commenters can say based off a short snippet of what the OP has said. There's much room for misinterpreting someone's situation, we can only write so much without it becoming a novel. ;)
One of my stories I asked something about not getting up to do anything all day and I was attacked for being a lazy asshole who lives off her parents when in reality I've lived on my own and have had a job since I was 16 , full time for the most part. I left just one detail out and all goes to hell. Lol.
I'm not going to censor myself, at least try not to. I've been doing a pretty good job at it lately and whenever I get a negative response I just laugh if off. It's freeing being able to say and be who you truly are, it's worth a few insults because there are just as many people who appreciate your honestly. (Even if you can't see it.) People are more likely to go out of their way to complain about something than praise something. Same as in off the Internet life.
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shade_ilmaendu
10 years ago
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Maybe people in general just need to learn to focus on the positives. Anyone can look around and see negatives everywhere, sometimes it takes some effort to look for the beauty in each day. But it's everywhere, you just need to learn to take it with the ugliness around it. Duality is something that people really seem to struggle with, I don't know how historical this is but at least in discussion with people my generation (and a bit above, I have friends ranging from 16 into their 30s and 40s @.@)there seems to be a prevalence of black and white thinking.
I try very hard not to censor myself but also to always be respectful, but I know in the future I'm going to be more careful with posting something extremely vulnerable. Most things I'm able to shrug off pretty easily, the meaner shit that was on my last post didn't get to me too badly (maybe just a little at first :P) but the post I deleted, the top comment was pretty much the most painful thing I could hear in that situation. It's so bad I won't even talk about it anymore and it's made me much more self conscious about the issue in real life as well as on here.
And people do love to make assumptions don't they? It happens to the best of us, earlier a user I like quite a bit mistakenly thought I was in high school, lived at home, and never had pets because I left that information out of my comment. It was easily enough amended, and that's how it is with the people who are worth it... have a misunderstanding? Clarify and fix it and be friends again. Yay.
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disthing
10 years ago
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I think you've basically answered your own post with the best advice you could give yourself:
"People in general just need to learn to focus on the positives. Anyone can look around and see negatives everywhere, sometimes it takes some effort to look for the beauty in each day. But it's everywhere, you just need to learn to take it with the ugliness around it."
Focus on the positives of IIN and accept the inevitable ugliness with the beauty, then you won't feel so upset or so victimised, and you won't need to post stories like this :)
--
shade_ilmaendu
10 years ago
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Funny how that happens. Discussing the issues is a fantastic prompt for figuring shit out on your own XD I think a lot of times all you need is that internal dialouge, that's why talking really helps so much. A little bit of it is venting but I think far more of it is giving you time and focus to work out your own solutions.
And I was partly doing this for others as well, because I know I'm not the only one and some people get picked on way worse than me.