Is it normal i think this is a dick move?

Okay so a friend of mine who online dates has this strategy where after his first date with a girl, he'll text her later that night or the next morning whatever with literally your typical casual reject. So he'll text her and say "Had a great time and enjoyed you as a person but I didn't feel a strong connection so I think I'd ready to stop dating" or something generic like that.

THEN if she replies "politely" he basically says sike it was just a test of your character and then tries pursuing her normally. His rationale is that the shallow or bitter women will ignore his text and move on, or reply with anger, but the ones that were truly interested will take the time to politely accept the rejection.

What do you think of a guy using this strategy?

Obviously, based on the title I think its bad. Its playing with her emotions too much and I feel like a girl who was genuinely interested would be put through an unnecessary swing of emotions. Thoughts?

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 21 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

    I think he has retard rationale. Most likely if she passes the test she will then reject him because that's a major red flag.

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    • That happened recently which is why he even told me what he's doing.

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      • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

        Lol he doesnt sound too bright

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        • Lol hes way smarter than me. This mf is going to school for chemical engineering!

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          • DIO

            What you are studying doesn't make you smarter.
            You can be a hobo and smart af.

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          • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

            Id rather have street smarts than book smarts

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            • Same 100%

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  • DIO

    There are other safer ways to test this without toying with the girl. He's clearly not the brightest.

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  • JellyBeanBandit

    If anyone gave me one of those 'tests' I'd dump her ass straight away, whether I passed or not.

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    • Haha well that's what happened a few days ago and he gave me a speech about how she wasn't good for him.

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  • Boojum

    Maybe my Boomer Brain is incapable of understanding how exquisitely fragile young women are these days, but I don't understand why you think the guy is being horrible to the women he's met.

    He writes very soon after the date (which is more than some guys do) to say he enjoyed being with her and he thinks she's a nice person (which are both positive emotional strokes), but he just didn't feel any sort of click (which is just stating what he felt). Why should that inflict any sort of trauma on the woman? Any sensible woman will accept that he has the right to feel what he feels, and believe what he believes, and she'll move on. It's not like he's listing all the faults he found in her or suggesting how she could be a better date or make herself more attractive to men.

    Whatever explanation the guy has given you for his behaviour, what this sounds like to me is either self-sabotaging or an attempt to avoid being rejected by the woman by getting his rejection in first.

    It's pretty stupid to believe that, having rejected the woman, he'll then be able to gracefully pivot and get another run at the target. Someone with good social and communication skills might be able to do this by getting back to the woman after a while and saying something like how he hasn't been able to get her off his mind, he's reconsidered his initial reaction and he wonders if she'd like to meet up again. But telling her that it was only a test just lets her know that he's a complete asshat. What sensible, self-respecting person wants to be with someone who openly admits that he has lied and clearly thinks that it's okay to give possible romantic partners tests?

    It's also a stupid tactic because the sort of women who will do what he hopes after he's admitted that he's lied are not the non-shallow and non-bitter ones. They're the women who are desperate for a guy, those who have low self-esteem and those who haven't the faintest fucking idea of what they want in a man. If he believes he wants some sort of a relationship with a woman like that, then he truly is incredibly dim.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Your response is normal, but your friend's behavior is not normal. This guy sounds like a manipulative asshole.

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    • I think he has good intentions to be fair, but yeah I think his idea is stupid of course.

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  • Clunk42

    That guy's just asking to never get a girlfriend.

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    • Well so far, that has been the outcome looool

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  • Iszzy123

    People say be your self so if he’s being a “dick” maybe that’s what she wants

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  • Grunewald

    It's a bad thing to do because it's asserting judgment and control over the girl and the situation that isn't his. Also, there are many, many reasons why a person might respond in a certain way to a rejection, so it's not a good test. Is this guy manipulative by any chance?

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    • Not in other ways that I've noticed but I don't know him super well we just workout together. I should show him this thread to try and convince him to change lol

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    yalls friend sounds like an insecure chick

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    • Hes male lol

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

        this was made clear

        i stands by my assertion

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        • Oooof size : large

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