Is it normal i stalk people on facebook

7 Comments

So I'm looking for love, I'm 23 and I've never had a boyfriend... the thing is I have tried with guys but it's never gone anywhere. I'm really bad with people I'm shy quiet and have no confidence and I don't know how to be myself around anyone except close friends and family because I'm worried what they will think.
In social situations I often have to think what I need to say or I won't talk at all. Making friends is hard, large groups are hard but I keep pushing myself to try.
I joined the gym once and got talking to some people one on one and it was nice and if I could just make friends from that it would be great but I've no idea how...
Anyway the main reason for this post is about a guy.. I joined a dating website and have been looking for people suitable for me. It never turns out right.. I don't go to places to meet new people really. And even if I did like I said I'd be shit at it.
So the guy I'm kinda obsessing over isn't from the dating website. He's a guy who comes to my workplace to fix something when it's broke. He doesn't come often I mean the time scale can be anytime, every 6 months then it could be twice a week.
He's been coming for around 3 years, when my dad would speak to him I'd be there thought nothing of him at all. The last few times though I've started to feel something I don't know what though.
I'd make a joke one time when he come and tried to make the effort to talk to him. He came the other day but I looked at him from a far.. he came again on Monday I was going to avoid him but my dad wanted me to go and pay him.. so I went he asked me a few general questions I answered but I could've answered more . I was just in aww that he was actually talking to me. No one ever takes there time out to get to know me ever. And it was so nice.. I feel like I'm making a friend and even though I fancy the pants off him I really want this friend! But how do I go about it now, he has Facebook as I've searched him but if I add him he will know I've been looking. Or should I wait til he next comes and talk to him, figure out what to say and try and make a conversation.
Or should I do both? I'm so looking forward to him coming. I don't know what's wrong with me.
It's just no one ever really gets to know me, I don't have many friends, I don't open up much but I want to learn, I want to with him.
I'm sat here wishing he would add me..
Help!

Wait until you next see him 2
Add him on Facebook 9
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Comments ( 7 )
  • shuggy-chan
    6 years ago | pl

    Even if he does add you or whatever

    Do you have to be aware of one simple fact.

    You have to know people in real life may not be how you picture them in your head.

    If you inflate someone's image too high, reality will only disappoint you.

    You have to do your best to keep that in mind. Try not to put too many people you don't really know on a pedestal.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Oh that's in my mind. Right now my mind is fucked.
      Okay forget I fancy him. Am I making a friend ? No one ever talks to me and when they do it gives me a buzz because I'm also learning how to be with people.
      But what do I say to him next time he comes? I overthink and overthink. Like I'm bothered about saying something too much. I just wanna be able to talk to him when he comes on a friend level that's it, because I know it will go no where.
      Adding him on Facebook I don't wanna message him and I highly doubt he'll message me. It's just like well I know him so can I add him?

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      • Murun
        6 years ago

        In my experience people add each other quite casually on Facebook, even if they're just a passing acquaintance, so I wouldn't worry about it at all, just click his button!

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          That's what I thought lol.

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  • exitmembersonly
    6 years ago

    you sound like a fucking loony-toon.

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  • Youngvictoria
    6 years ago

    You are really focusing too much on the guy and overthinking it. Trust me there is nothing Facebook can do for you here its not going to make your relationship more intimate or stronger. You just need to be yourself around him and be confident in yourself. And you know what if he doesn't think you're cute and attractive based on you being yourself around him then move onto a new guy! There are tons of guys out there for you and you'll need to go through several most likely before you meet the right one. So always have an open mind and stay relaxed and just live your life without stressing about one stupid guy. And like I said in your last post (I can tell bc it was so similar to this post) the most important thing is that you work on your own confidence by finding skills and activities to become accomplished at and enjoy and fill your time with. You can totally do this!

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  • Yennifer_Of_Vengerburg
    6 years ago

    Maybe you have an anxiety disorder that can be treated with medication don't add him on Facebook he might feel obligated to accept it even id he doesn't want to

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