wow, your story brought tears to my eyes, I wish I could say I know exactly how you feel and that would be a lie. But in a retrospect I kind of know where you're coming from. I lost one of the closet people to me back in May 2011. My child's father took his life, it was the worst news I could have ever been told. We're on a break when it happened, it was for us to get our relationship back on track. But in the end I never trully got to tell him how much I cared about him for the last time. Now I sit home each and everyday trying to just be able to cope with daily life. Its always going to be a consent struggle. You just have to know the healthiest way of dealing with it. I find venting and writing does help a little bit. Have you tried sitting down and writing exactly whats going on up in your noggin down on paper even if it doesnt make sense? It may help, or you could write a letter addressed to Katie telling her how you're feeling and what you've always wanted to say to her. After you get done writing it, go outside and burn it. Burning it kind of helps the message pass through the spiritual world through the smoke (it may sound a little crazy, but for your own minds sanity what do you really have to lose?)
Is it normal I'm still feeling this way?
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wow, your story brought tears to my eyes, I wish I could say I know exactly how you feel and that would be a lie. But in a retrospect I kind of know where you're coming from. I lost one of the closet people to me back in May 2011. My child's father took his life, it was the worst news I could have ever been told. We're on a break when it happened, it was for us to get our relationship back on track. But in the end I never trully got to tell him how much I cared about him for the last time. Now I sit home each and everyday trying to just be able to cope with daily life. Its always going to be a consent struggle. You just have to know the healthiest way of dealing with it. I find venting and writing does help a little bit. Have you tried sitting down and writing exactly whats going on up in your noggin down on paper even if it doesnt make sense? It may help, or you could write a letter addressed to Katie telling her how you're feeling and what you've always wanted to say to her. After you get done writing it, go outside and burn it. Burning it kind of helps the message pass through the spiritual world through the smoke (it may sound a little crazy, but for your own minds sanity what do you really have to lose?)