I know how you feel. I never had your upbringing and still ended up in a similar place so consider yourself strong for making it this far. I feel so different or unable to connect with people sometimes that I want to die, or do really dangerous things because I don't think that will ever change. But I'm full of shit. I'm making excuses. Because I don't want the pain of hoping for something and losing it. But that's not right. There's nothing wrong with hoping and the pain of giving up and not doing anything will always be greater. So I'm doing something. I'm learning to accept myself. I have help of course. Some good friends, a loving mother,a therapist to boot. But you're strong. Stronger than me. You open your guts and you still wish everyone a nice day. You are an incredible person. Don't forget this. Be happy with who you are and I promise you things will change.
Is it normal I'm so different and I want to die because of it?
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I know how you feel. I never had your upbringing and still ended up in a similar place so consider yourself strong for making it this far. I feel so different or unable to connect with people sometimes that I want to die, or do really dangerous things because I don't think that will ever change. But I'm full of shit. I'm making excuses. Because I don't want the pain of hoping for something and losing it. But that's not right. There's nothing wrong with hoping and the pain of giving up and not doing anything will always be greater. So I'm doing something. I'm learning to accept myself. I have help of course. Some good friends, a loving mother,a therapist to boot. But you're strong. Stronger than me. You open your guts and you still wish everyone a nice day. You are an incredible person. Don't forget this. Be happy with who you are and I promise you things will change.