Im sorry.
First, you have to start loving yourself. I hate it when innocent people have terrible upbringings :( You have to love yourself and find what makes you happy then a girl will come along naturally. And as for 19 an a virgin? There are people older than you who are virgins. But only you can change your life around :( I hope other users give you some better advice! im crap at this :(
Is it normal I'm so different and I want to die because of it?
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Im sorry.
First, you have to start loving yourself. I hate it when innocent people have terrible upbringings :( You have to love yourself and find what makes you happy then a girl will come along naturally. And as for 19 an a virgin? There are people older than you who are virgins. But only you can change your life around :( I hope other users give you some better advice! im crap at this :(