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I'm constantly worried about what I'm thinking. I have to always make sure that I'm not thinking something bad (sexist, racist, etc). I'm scared that I'll think the wrong thing. When I was younger (as in, a small child) I tried not to think at all in case someone could read my mind. Is it normal?
I think the problem stems from an active creative mind, but one that needs some training. When you experience bad thoughts just recognize that they are not good things to be thinking. Once you recognize the incorrect thought try to figure out what caused this thought.
Try and separate the person's action from a general sexist or racist thought and figure out what they personally did that bothered you. Start training your mind to state the individual's actions rather than 'slandering' a whole group. Eventually you should start seeing the problems that bother you and can start dealing with the root causes.
Also it takes a creative mind to think others are reading your thoughts...
If you could read people's thoughts you'd find out your thoughts aren't nearly as interesting.
Actually, you just sound morally self-conscious. That will be a good thing if you can learn to channel it properly.
You remember Yoda's line from Star Wars? "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." Take it from Yoda, thoughts are definitely the first step to actions.
That said, thoughts are not the be-all end-all; willpower is what happens when you choose to act on some thoughts and not on others. Rather than continue to live fearing your thoughts, you should channel that morally self-conscious fear of your thoughts to allow you to develop a strong willpower that will allow you to choose your actions. This will help you keep a level head, cool in a crisis; willpower will keep you from making stupid mistakes.
And especially, don't freeze up. Fear is a two-edged sword; training yourself to channel your fear means learning, ultimately, to be something other than just fearful. Practice will make perfect; self control is key.
In particular, as to racism and sexism: these things are bad, definitely; but it would also be bad to allow fear of racism or sexism to keep you from speaking up to a woman or someone from a racial minority, if a person from one of those groups is doing something wrong. Don't let fear of seeming wrong cause you to actually *be* wrong; in this case, non-discrimination means treating people who look different neither subhuman nor superhuman, but just human, with respect and honesty.
Hey, you're okay. No one can reAch into your mind and grab your personal thoughts. You really dont have to restrict yourself from thinking about things that are taboo, or at least portrayed to you that way . Everyone has thoughts that are disturbing and even ethically controversial or considered wrong or whatever. If you dont plan on acting on thoughts that could cause other people harm or discomfort, then youre fine. Dont oppress yourself, thats terrible