What you're feeling unfortunately isn't that uncommon. When it comes to sex, women have all sorts of baggage that's been loaded on to them from the time they were very young.
Like the other responses have said, I think a woman needs to understand what she needs before she can have any hope of enjoying sex with a guy. If you're not familiar with your own sexual response and you're not open to receiving sexual pleasure, then it's unrealistic to expect that someone else will be able to push all the right buttons.
And unfortunately it has to be said that even if you do know what you need, only some guys will care about that. Even guys who do care can get it wrong if they don't understand that just because something they did worked with one woman (or at least appeared to work), that doesn't mean all women will always respond in the same way.
Sex can be a wonderful part of life and relationships. If you want to better understand your own sexual response, you have to spend some time learning how you roll. You might also consider reading "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski. The book busts a lot of myths about female sexuality, and it may help you understand why you respond to sex as you do.
One final point: you don't merely say that you don't enjoy sex, you say that you "hate" it. Perhaps you're only using the word for dramatic effect, but if you truly do find the idea of sex disgusting and you despise yourself and the guy after you've had sex, then I think you have some serious issues to address. I have no idea what those might be, but it's not uncommon for people raised in sex-negative environments to have big problems enjoying sex, even if they're with a person who they love deeply and their partner is patient and technically proficient.
IIN i like the thought of having sex but..
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What you're feeling unfortunately isn't that uncommon. When it comes to sex, women have all sorts of baggage that's been loaded on to them from the time they were very young.
Like the other responses have said, I think a woman needs to understand what she needs before she can have any hope of enjoying sex with a guy. If you're not familiar with your own sexual response and you're not open to receiving sexual pleasure, then it's unrealistic to expect that someone else will be able to push all the right buttons.
And unfortunately it has to be said that even if you do know what you need, only some guys will care about that. Even guys who do care can get it wrong if they don't understand that just because something they did worked with one woman (or at least appeared to work), that doesn't mean all women will always respond in the same way.
Sex can be a wonderful part of life and relationships. If you want to better understand your own sexual response, you have to spend some time learning how you roll. You might also consider reading "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski. The book busts a lot of myths about female sexuality, and it may help you understand why you respond to sex as you do.
One final point: you don't merely say that you don't enjoy sex, you say that you "hate" it. Perhaps you're only using the word for dramatic effect, but if you truly do find the idea of sex disgusting and you despise yourself and the guy after you've had sex, then I think you have some serious issues to address. I have no idea what those might be, but it's not uncommon for people raised in sex-negative environments to have big problems enjoying sex, even if they're with a person who they love deeply and their partner is patient and technically proficient.