The "I am fat" message your brain is telling you is metaphor for the problems in your life that you need to cope with and try to resolve.
Objectively, you can see that given your height and weight you are actually underweight. It is because your must be experiencing personal turmoil in your life over things that you cannot control that you have focused on altering something about yourself.
If it wasn't feeling fat it'd be about something else-the fact that you want to cut yourself is another manifestation of this same issue. Clearly you are hurting and in pain and I feel for you.
But please don't harm yourself-either by starvation/over-exercising or cutting. Just look at your life, try to identify what's wrong with it, what you'd like to see improve or change and work on fixing that.
To an extent we can be our own worst critics and torturers. I used to be well built, but I'm now out of shape, it bothers me a lot because that's not how I see myself or wish others to see me and also cause my friends are fit and I'm not.
They of course make fun of me for it-that doesn't affect me actually, my own disappointment with letting myself go does, since I was fit most of my life.
But I know I will eventually get in good shape again, because I'm a very disciplined person. Till then I really am not happy with the way I look so I suffer with these feelings.
So you're not alone feeling the way you do, but I think you're taking things to an extreme. If you can't solve the problem yourself, look into getting professional help.
Stay engaged with your friends, they will help you feel normal and human. If you isolate yourself, you will intensify whatever mental anguish you're going through.
Stop being hard on yourself and instead learn to love and accept yourself the way you are, you deserve not to suffer. Hope my advice helped.
Is it normal I just wanna crawl in a hole and die?
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The "I am fat" message your brain is telling you is metaphor for the problems in your life that you need to cope with and try to resolve.
Objectively, you can see that given your height and weight you are actually underweight. It is because your must be experiencing personal turmoil in your life over things that you cannot control that you have focused on altering something about yourself.
If it wasn't feeling fat it'd be about something else-the fact that you want to cut yourself is another manifestation of this same issue. Clearly you are hurting and in pain and I feel for you.
But please don't harm yourself-either by starvation/over-exercising or cutting. Just look at your life, try to identify what's wrong with it, what you'd like to see improve or change and work on fixing that.
To an extent we can be our own worst critics and torturers. I used to be well built, but I'm now out of shape, it bothers me a lot because that's not how I see myself or wish others to see me and also cause my friends are fit and I'm not.
They of course make fun of me for it-that doesn't affect me actually, my own disappointment with letting myself go does, since I was fit most of my life.
But I know I will eventually get in good shape again, because I'm a very disciplined person. Till then I really am not happy with the way I look so I suffer with these feelings.
So you're not alone feeling the way you do, but I think you're taking things to an extreme. If you can't solve the problem yourself, look into getting professional help.
Stay engaged with your friends, they will help you feel normal and human. If you isolate yourself, you will intensify whatever mental anguish you're going through.
Stop being hard on yourself and instead learn to love and accept yourself the way you are, you deserve not to suffer. Hope my advice helped.