I agree. Trust is important, and not being able to trust someone to keep private things private definitely stops me being able to build up a relationship with them. It's a problem a lot of people I know have in their relationships, and a big problem in mine too. It might actually be one of the most common problems I've ever seen in a relationship.
On the other hand, lots of people (in my experience mostly girls, but I could be generalising) see their close friends as almost extensions of themselves and asking them not to talk to their close friends about something is hugely restrictive to them. I even talked to someone once who considered it "abusive" not to be able to talk to their friends about private things relating to their partner, and got quite angry with me when I disagreed :P
I go back to my first point, though. It's a childish attitude not to be able to keep private things private, and I wouldn't want to get involved in a relationship with someone I couldn't have an appropriate level of privacy with.
Chatterboxes is a sign of an insecurity more common in women. There are still men chatterboxes also. lol I find it kind of cute truthfully but it most certainly gets annoying.
To the OP, I'm not sure if you have tried already but tell her how you actually feel. Express your feelings to her maybe she'll take it at heart then. If not then just let her know that you can't take it anymore because love is about trust and being able to compromise the relationship. Her not keeping things private most certainly isn't a compromise and is a pain to deal with.
She is a very insecure person so maybe she wants to ensure its normal with somethings. I've told her how I don't like it at all and said for her not to tell them certain things.
The main thing at the moment, is that we wanna try a strap on... Now THAT is something I'd never live down if that got out. She said she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret so I said I'm not doing it. The thing is now, I don't want her to tell them we were even considering it and she said she hasn't seen them yet but she probably will!
I'm gonna have a more serious word with her about it.
She most certainly needs to see in order for her to be herself she doesn't have to get approval from her friends. How I'm taking it in your situation she needs to find her own values and realize she can keep things to herself. This is a great way for her own self approval; is that you don't have to share your life to others all the time. Except yourself! Maybe this could be a helpful hint to give her also.
Here is also a good website:
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself
Like I've said I wouldn't want to share too many personal details even if they ask I would like to keep my partners and my sex life personal. :)
IIN I hate that my girlfriend tells her best friends EVERYTHING
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I agree. Trust is important, and not being able to trust someone to keep private things private definitely stops me being able to build up a relationship with them. It's a problem a lot of people I know have in their relationships, and a big problem in mine too. It might actually be one of the most common problems I've ever seen in a relationship.
On the other hand, lots of people (in my experience mostly girls, but I could be generalising) see their close friends as almost extensions of themselves and asking them not to talk to their close friends about something is hugely restrictive to them. I even talked to someone once who considered it "abusive" not to be able to talk to their friends about private things relating to their partner, and got quite angry with me when I disagreed :P
I go back to my first point, though. It's a childish attitude not to be able to keep private things private, and I wouldn't want to get involved in a relationship with someone I couldn't have an appropriate level of privacy with.
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Saycheese
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Great response. Thanks :)
I most certainly agree with you.
I have seen that tendency happen mostly in women.
Chatterboxes is a sign of an insecurity more common in women. There are still men chatterboxes also. lol I find it kind of cute truthfully but it most certainly gets annoying.
To the OP, I'm not sure if you have tried already but tell her how you actually feel. Express your feelings to her maybe she'll take it at heart then. If not then just let her know that you can't take it anymore because love is about trust and being able to compromise the relationship. Her not keeping things private most certainly isn't a compromise and is a pain to deal with.
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She is a very insecure person so maybe she wants to ensure its normal with somethings. I've told her how I don't like it at all and said for her not to tell them certain things.
The main thing at the moment, is that we wanna try a strap on... Now THAT is something I'd never live down if that got out. She said she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret so I said I'm not doing it. The thing is now, I don't want her to tell them we were even considering it and she said she hasn't seen them yet but she probably will!
I'm gonna have a more serious word with her about it.
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Saycheese
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Ok, I hope all goes well.
She most certainly needs to see in order for her to be herself she doesn't have to get approval from her friends. How I'm taking it in your situation she needs to find her own values and realize she can keep things to herself. This is a great way for her own self approval; is that you don't have to share your life to others all the time. Except yourself! Maybe this could be a helpful hint to give her also.
Here is also a good website:
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself
Like I've said I wouldn't want to share too many personal details even if they ask I would like to keep my partners and my sex life personal. :)