You probably don't want to hear this, but that really doesen't sound normal. It sounds like you may have been abused or had some other trauma, and I think you should see a therapist. That is of course only if you want to change. But it seems to me, since you are writing this here, that you're not okay with it. Please don't tell yourself "I guess that's just who I am."
I wish you all the best, and I hope you'll find a way to let some people in.
Is it normal I HATE it when people get close to me?
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You probably don't want to hear this, but that really doesen't sound normal. It sounds like you may have been abused or had some other trauma, and I think you should see a therapist. That is of course only if you want to change. But it seems to me, since you are writing this here, that you're not okay with it. Please don't tell yourself "I guess that's just who I am."
I wish you all the best, and I hope you'll find a way to let some people in.