As bad as it was what you did, what he's doing is 100x worse and you don't deserve any of this. He's basically trying to rape you now. Even if it isn't considered legally rape, having sex with someone that you know doesn't want to have sex with you is the most sickening pathetic thing imaginable. I'm not sure about the legality of it but I'm pretty sure blackmailing someone into having sex is committing some kind of rape, so you could threaten to report him to the police or to take him to court. Or don't even threaten him, just go ahead and do it.
IIN I got drunk and accidently cheated on my husband?
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As bad as it was what you did, what he's doing is 100x worse and you don't deserve any of this. He's basically trying to rape you now. Even if it isn't considered legally rape, having sex with someone that you know doesn't want to have sex with you is the most sickening pathetic thing imaginable. I'm not sure about the legality of it but I'm pretty sure blackmailing someone into having sex is committing some kind of rape, so you could threaten to report him to the police or to take him to court. Or don't even threaten him, just go ahead and do it.