If you look at it in a psychological way, your brain wants to convert these traumatic thoughts into something, that is the most positive thing but yet the most closest thing to the trauma itself.
For example, I am an alcoholic, and i always used to think of myself what a failure i am and that i never really achieved anything in life, and i got depressed. After 3 months of this depression, my brain got used to the thought that i am a failure, that i am depressed. I met a really great woman and she loved me the way i am, and i lost my depression. But now that i got someone who makes me feel better, i started to miss these depressive feelings, because now i faced that my lazyness caused me to get alcoholic.
What i want to say is that you try to look at it in the most positive way. You possibly play with the thought of your wife having sex with other men, as if in daydreams. Now, when you imagine a situation of your wife having sex with someone else, do you think that she is doing that because she doesn't like you, or that you aren't enough for her, or that you can't please her enough? If so, then that means that this is really bad for you.
It will eat you from the inside. Don't look at it in a arousing way, because that will destroy you more and more.
is it normal, I get turned on while being haunted by my wifes cheating
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If you look at it in a psychological way, your brain wants to convert these traumatic thoughts into something, that is the most positive thing but yet the most closest thing to the trauma itself.
For example, I am an alcoholic, and i always used to think of myself what a failure i am and that i never really achieved anything in life, and i got depressed. After 3 months of this depression, my brain got used to the thought that i am a failure, that i am depressed. I met a really great woman and she loved me the way i am, and i lost my depression. But now that i got someone who makes me feel better, i started to miss these depressive feelings, because now i faced that my lazyness caused me to get alcoholic.
What i want to say is that you try to look at it in the most positive way. You possibly play with the thought of your wife having sex with other men, as if in daydreams. Now, when you imagine a situation of your wife having sex with someone else, do you think that she is doing that because she doesn't like you, or that you aren't enough for her, or that you can't please her enough? If so, then that means that this is really bad for you.
It will eat you from the inside. Don't look at it in a arousing way, because that will destroy you more and more.
Maybe you should search for help.
Best luck!