Is it normal i get intimidated by other transmen and cis men?
As a transman,ever time I see a transman or cis man at the gym I feel intimidated by them. I get jealous very easily and want to always prove something. Weather it's me showing them my wait lifting skills, My bench press skills and my push up skills. I feel like their taking away my power and dominance away from me. I know that sounds silly but that's how I feel. Taking my girlfriend with me to the gym is a real pain in the ass. I always feel she's looking at those other cis men or transmen. I have to show her my muscles to gain that confidence back. It sucks fucken balls I tell you!!!! Now most of these transmen are my friends so it's kind of hard to tell them I'm jealous of them. I'm also pretty ripped with lot's of muscles thanks to Testosterone and hard work. It's never enough though, I feel like I have to complete or compare myself to these other transmen. It got so bad I had an argument with one of the transmen and felt like I had to fight him in front of my girlfriend to show her who's alpha dog. I didn't fight him, but he thought I was insane lol I honestly feel really shity for that. I don't know why I feel the need to grunt loudly at the gym so everyone can here how masculin and charge I am. I fucken always want to start a fight and I don't understand. I have the erge the drive to fight, almost like a wrestling match. I'm 5'3 which doesn't help my self-esteem. 5'5 with shoes. There was a guy who was 6'6 he was cis and I came up to him telling him am I tall? Am I strong? Well if I'm not tall I'm steal a jock in my eyes. I don't understand myself sometimes? Why am I so intimidated by these guys? Just looking at a mans health magazine makes it worse. I see a guy with muscles, I want to compare myself to him...my girlfriend even thinks I'm taking this way to far. I might need more therapy than I thought. I always say things like, I'M The INTIMIDATING ONE!!!! I'M MORE MASCULINE THAN YOU PUSSIES!!!! FUCK FUCK WANT TO FIGHT! LET'S FIGHT BRO!!! I would never fight anyone, unless if it were rough housing. Please tell me is This normal for a lot of transguys? If you see a picture of a riped transman or cis man,even online, do you feel the need to tell him you're ALPHA?