Is it normal i get intimidated by other transmen and cis men?

As a transman,ever time I see a transman or cis man at the gym I feel intimidated by them. I get jealous very easily and want to always prove something. Weather it's me showing them my wait lifting skills, My bench press skills and my push up skills. I feel like their taking away my power and dominance away from me. I know that sounds silly but that's how I feel. Taking my girlfriend with me to the gym is a real pain in the ass. I always feel she's looking at those other cis men or transmen. I have to show her my muscles to gain that confidence back. It sucks fucken balls I tell you!!!! Now most of these transmen are my friends so it's kind of hard to tell them I'm jealous of them. I'm also pretty ripped with lot's of muscles thanks to Testosterone and hard work. It's never enough though, I feel like I have to complete or compare myself to these other transmen. It got so bad I had an argument with one of the transmen and felt like I had to fight him in front of my girlfriend to show her who's alpha dog. I didn't fight him, but he thought I was insane lol I honestly feel really shity for that. I don't know why I feel the need to grunt loudly at the gym so everyone can here how masculin and charge I am. I fucken always want to start a fight and I don't understand. I have the erge the drive to fight, almost like a wrestling match. I'm 5'3 which doesn't help my self-esteem. 5'5 with shoes. There was a guy who was 6'6 he was cis and I came up to him telling him am I tall? Am I strong? Well if I'm not tall I'm steal a jock in my eyes. I don't understand myself sometimes? Why am I so intimidated by these guys? Just looking at a mans health magazine makes it worse. I see a guy with muscles, I want to compare myself to him...my girlfriend even thinks I'm taking this way to far. I might need more therapy than I thought. I always say things like, I'M The INTIMIDATING ONE!!!! I'M MORE MASCULINE THAN YOU PUSSIES!!!! FUCK FUCK WANT TO FIGHT! LET'S FIGHT BRO!!! I would never fight anyone, unless if it were rough housing. Please tell me is This normal for a lot of transguys? If you see a picture of a riped transman or cis man,even online, do you feel the need to tell him you're ALPHA?

Voting Results
47% Normal
Based on 15 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • _confused_

    Simply realize that no one cares...and there are so many men that are skinny, women's height and yet no one cares about them being 'alpha' or not

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  • megadriver

    You got very low self esteem bro. You try to act superior to everyone and be "alpha", but deep down inside you feel worthless and probably hate yourself. Deep insecurities. For that you need therapy my friend. Much bigger issue that can't be solved on the internet.

    But here is a little tip. Most men around you couldn't care less how much you bench press, how tall you are, or how buff you look. But the moment you try to look like some cocky scumbag, they will start to notice, but in a negative way. Unless you want everyone to start hating you, deal with that issue. If I met someone like you and they started acting superior to me, trying to prove in some pathetic, twisted way they are better men. I will confront them and they will back down. Doesn't mean I'm gonna start fighting them right there and now, but I got my ways. I don't take shit from anyone. Treat people how you want to be treated. Gain some confidence, work out those issues and don't be an asshole. You'll enjoy life more.

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    • Zonfire80

      Ok

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  • jethro

    Roid rage. Quit shooting the testosterone and your desire to fight everyone will go away. By the way, when you say "girlfriend", do you mean a real live girl or someone who dresses like a girl?

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    • Zonfire80

      Real girlfriend and before I took testosterone I was always like this. Testosterone how ever has increased it.

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    • RoseIsabella

      I think roid rage wouldn't be so terrible if it were related to hemmorhoids instead of steroids. 😊

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  • SammyStarts

    You're having issues dealing with your masculinity my dude. I think it would be good to sort this out possibly with more therapy. Maybe you feel like being trans somehow makes you less of a man? If so that's complete bullshit. I honestly think you sound deep down a really nice guy and you need to realize these things aren't making you more masculine or look more confident and tough. These things make you look like an asshole tbh. But on a dead serious note though. You need to sort things out with your masculinity and confidence if anything. I would also apologize to your girl and if you want those people at the gym. Just so they know that that isn't the person you want to be anymore.

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    • Zonfire80

      Why do you think I have to apologize to her? What did I do that has to make me apologize?

      It's nice that you're seeing a good side in me. Most people think I'm an asshole. I'll try to work with my therapist about it. I was always like this pre-t but since I'm on testosterone I feel like I have to show it more. It's wrong but I never feel masculine enough. People know me as the tough guy but I don't see it that much in myself. I'm also bipolar which doesn't make it any better. Like I said thanks for telling me those things. I appreciate it.

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      • SammyStarts

        I just think apologizing shows you're serious about changing in general. BTW it's no problem. I have dealt with worst people and tbh you really don't sound like a bad guy. I always try and think of things from everyone's POV even if it's hard. It helps keep everyone happy.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Whatever you do don't try to impress anyone with your spelling skills.

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    • Zonfire80

      Mabey you should work on your grammar as well sweetie.

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      • Says the one who just spelt ‘maybe’ like a name for a shampoo.

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        • Zonfire80

          Oh,shut up :D

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  • dogwoofwoof

    FAG

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    • Zonfire80

      Lol

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  • curious-bunny

    Good ol pissing contests

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  • Maybe you feel insecure? Nope, yep, you’re really insecure.
    The only way to shirk the feeling is this, get comfortable in your own skin and tone down on the testosterone.

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    • Zonfire80

      I'm working on it buddy but I want to feel more dominant that's all.

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      • Then you’ll have to work on your confidence. Since dominance and intimadation are easy to obtain when confident in yourself and your abilities.
        Hope it works out for ya.

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        • Zonfire80

          Ok

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          • :)

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