Sounds like the classic "grass is always greener" situation.
What you're feeling is indeed superficial and very immature, but if you're convinced you can hook a better-looking guy and that's the most important thing to you at this point in your life, then you'd be doing your fiancé and yourself a favour if you backed out of the marriage. If you stick to your promise to marry him, maybe you'll grow up enough to some day understand that looks just ain't everything, but it sounds like you need more life experience to teach you that lesson, and he shouldn't have to suffer your simmering resentment while you go through that process.
One one hand, I feel very grateful that he loves me and supports me, he's not completely unattractive either but I just don't feel comfortable catching him in bad angles sometimes. It feels nice to have this part of life figured out and to have a partner to share your life with. He's my best friend and we have this deep connection Im not sure to ever find again.
On the other hand, I have only had 3 relationships in my whole life (i'm 28). i horribly feel like i'm missing out on so many things. i sometimes feel like i'm going too fast with this marriage and with this guy that i haven't really known for a long time (only 3 years or so) and it brings me serious anxiety. it just freaks me out because i dont even know if i truly love him sometimes. i do know that i get worried when i dont hear from him and that i cried when he threatened to leave me after we argued a year ago. sometimes i just wonder if i can do better... and i understand i should let him go if thats the case, but at the same time i'm fearing i'm walking away from the love of my life...
Do what you feel is right. Ive been with my wife since I was a young teenager. I get the part where you feel like you want to see whats out there more. I felt like that too but honestly it passed eventually. It was sorta around the 3 year mark for me when I started to think about leaving. I'm glad I didn't looking back. Now I have a kid and she's like my best friend. And lets be honest when we get old we're gonna be ugly anyway 🤣. Might as well have your best friend/partner there to get old with.
Is it normal I find my fiance unattractive sometimes?
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Sounds like the classic "grass is always greener" situation.
What you're feeling is indeed superficial and very immature, but if you're convinced you can hook a better-looking guy and that's the most important thing to you at this point in your life, then you'd be doing your fiancé and yourself a favour if you backed out of the marriage. If you stick to your promise to marry him, maybe you'll grow up enough to some day understand that looks just ain't everything, but it sounds like you need more life experience to teach you that lesson, and he shouldn't have to suffer your simmering resentment while you go through that process.
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Anonymous Post Author
4 years ago
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Thanks. It's very complicated.
One one hand, I feel very grateful that he loves me and supports me, he's not completely unattractive either but I just don't feel comfortable catching him in bad angles sometimes. It feels nice to have this part of life figured out and to have a partner to share your life with. He's my best friend and we have this deep connection Im not sure to ever find again.
On the other hand, I have only had 3 relationships in my whole life (i'm 28). i horribly feel like i'm missing out on so many things. i sometimes feel like i'm going too fast with this marriage and with this guy that i haven't really known for a long time (only 3 years or so) and it brings me serious anxiety. it just freaks me out because i dont even know if i truly love him sometimes. i do know that i get worried when i dont hear from him and that i cried when he threatened to leave me after we argued a year ago. sometimes i just wonder if i can do better... and i understand i should let him go if thats the case, but at the same time i'm fearing i'm walking away from the love of my life...
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McBean
4 years ago
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FromTheSouthWeirdGuy
4 years ago
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You are likely headed into a sexless marriage. They're not fun. There's very little that can be done about them. I'm sorry.
Do what you feel is right. Ive been with my wife since I was a young teenager. I get the part where you feel like you want to see whats out there more. I felt like that too but honestly it passed eventually. It was sorta around the 3 year mark for me when I started to think about leaving. I'm glad I didn't looking back. Now I have a kid and she's like my best friend. And lets be honest when we get old we're gonna be ugly anyway 🤣. Might as well have your best friend/partner there to get old with.