Is it normal i feel lost because my best friend may have a boyfriend?

My best friend recently appears to be very close to a guy, seems to sms him a lot and meets him often out of school. I'm not sure if they are in a relationship, but a lot of people are speculating about it and many are quite sure its true. She may have gone out with him to watch a movie and to eat, just the two of them, though I'm not sure.

I feel lost. Why isn't she telling me anything if she's supposed to be close to me? And I don't know if I should believe they are together. But more and more signs are pointing to it. She recently changed her display picture to shot of her and the guy with their heads together and with some faded effect.

What is going on? Should I ask her about it? I always feel very intrusive when I ask personal questions. And I don't know if I will end up continuing being together with her even when he's there, and get to know him, or end up losing her completely.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I can tell you one thing: You need more self-confidence.

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  • the problem is....

    you're assuming she HAS to tell you. yes you feel left out but ... that's OK. She has a right to keep things between herself and her possible boyfriend.

    yes you're friends but... she might want to see where the relationship goes before gossiping about it.

    That doesn't mean she's no longer your friend. It just means she doesn't want to share it with you yet.

    I'd personally suggest ... stop worrying about it. She'll tell you when she's ready - if she wants to. And if she doesn't tell you... don't take it personally. Most likely it's got nothing to do with you anyway, even if you think it does.

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    • turns out she was just waiting for me to ask--i got my answer and i now don't mind even if she spends more time with him because at least i know what's going on. thanks for the comments!

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  • Honestly if I were you, I wouldn't ask your best friend about her boyfriend. She would've told you about her boyfriend if she felt like telling you, since you two are such close friends. There're many possible reasons why she's not telling you anything about her current relationship. Is this her first relationship? Maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable talking about the relationship, or she simply doesn't see the need to tell you. Or she doesn't want to tell anyone about it before it gets stable.

    If I were you, I'd just wait for her. She'd come to you when she wants to. But if you're really curious/lost/worried about her, then you may write her a letter or SMS her. Just tell her that you care for her and you wish she'd always remember that she can feel free to tell you anything at anytime. I guess she'd understand what you mean.

    I know how it feels when your best friend seems to pay all her attention to her boyfriend and neglects you. But I think you have to believe that this situation won't be permanent and you won't lose your best friend. Obviously now your best friend is a person in love. She's consumed with fire of love. However, this is just a phase of honeymoon. As more time pass by, she'd need/come to you again. After all, you're very important to her too!

    At last, I believe that the point of being a best friend is to always support and stand by each other. Even during the moments when she seems to keep something away from you, you should still make it clear that you're always there for her :)

    Be confident about the friendship! Take care :)

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