Very common, especially with women. I am male and have experienced this. The guilt/shame/paranoia/awkwardness is being created because you have conflicting emotions, you WANT to masturbate to porn yet you feel it may be immoral/weird/against religious doctrines etc.
Your brain wants to reach a definitive conclusion. But there is really nothing wrong with masturbation or porn in which those involved are consensual (agreeing to be filmed doing whatever it is).
You may or may not want to stop masturbating/watching porn until you have read up more on the subject.
But if you don't come to a conclusion you will continue to have these conflicting ideologies.
Think of it this way, should harmless sexual pleasure be considered "perverted" or "wrong"?
1. I recommend this site for some unbiased info, check out the intro video and articles: http://www.tinynibbles.com/smartporn
2. I highly recommend watch Laci Green's videos on YouTube, she is very well informed on many aspects of sex: http://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
3. I don't know if this video is your sort of humour, but IMO it has a good message: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRzf3ghIZJI
Sorry for the rather oversized answer, but I hope it all helped.
Is it normal I feel disgusting after masterbating?
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Very common, especially with women. I am male and have experienced this. The guilt/shame/paranoia/awkwardness is being created because you have conflicting emotions, you WANT to masturbate to porn yet you feel it may be immoral/weird/against religious doctrines etc.
Your brain wants to reach a definitive conclusion. But there is really nothing wrong with masturbation or porn in which those involved are consensual (agreeing to be filmed doing whatever it is).
You may or may not want to stop masturbating/watching porn until you have read up more on the subject.
But if you don't come to a conclusion you will continue to have these conflicting ideologies.
Think of it this way, should harmless sexual pleasure be considered "perverted" or "wrong"?
1. I recommend this site for some unbiased info, check out the intro video and articles: http://www.tinynibbles.com/smartporn
2. I highly recommend watch Laci Green's videos on YouTube, she is very well informed on many aspects of sex: http://www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen
3. I don't know if this video is your sort of humour, but IMO it has a good message: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRzf3ghIZJI
Sorry for the rather oversized answer, but I hope it all helped.