If you both work, you should both take care of the house. I haven't met a woman yet that is happy being a full time worker, full time housekeeper, AND full time mother. Its too much for one person. You need to remind your boyfriend that HE has two kids, YOU only have one. He needs to be the one that does her laundry, gets her bathed and dressed, disciplines her, takes her to school, etc. At the same time you need to realize that as the girlfriend of someone with a kid, you do have some obligations toward his daughter. You never make her feel unwelcomed, never come between her and her dad or her and her brother, never play favorites between her and her brother, and never do anything that will hurt her self esteem. Doing these things will not only hurt her, but will hurt your boyfriend, you, and your son. You need to understand that although your boyfriend rarely saw his daughter in the beginning, he was still a "package deal". His home is her home and she has more right to him than you do. If you don't find a way to accept her, your family will fail. If you and your boyfriend break up, your son may even have to endure a step mom that won't accept him and treats him like he's not wanted. How would you like it if his new woman came between your son and his dad. How would you feel if another woman was mean to your son every time he went to see his dad. You need to make your family work and stay together. It might not be easy, but here are books and people that can help you. Do it for your son. I'm saying this as someone who was the daughter. My dad left it to my step mom (who didn't want us) to raise us, she was overworked, our family was miserable, all the kids ended up with 'issues', even her bio ones. Eventually our family fell apart.
is it normal i dont want this child
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If you both work, you should both take care of the house. I haven't met a woman yet that is happy being a full time worker, full time housekeeper, AND full time mother. Its too much for one person. You need to remind your boyfriend that HE has two kids, YOU only have one. He needs to be the one that does her laundry, gets her bathed and dressed, disciplines her, takes her to school, etc. At the same time you need to realize that as the girlfriend of someone with a kid, you do have some obligations toward his daughter. You never make her feel unwelcomed, never come between her and her dad or her and her brother, never play favorites between her and her brother, and never do anything that will hurt her self esteem. Doing these things will not only hurt her, but will hurt your boyfriend, you, and your son. You need to understand that although your boyfriend rarely saw his daughter in the beginning, he was still a "package deal". His home is her home and she has more right to him than you do. If you don't find a way to accept her, your family will fail. If you and your boyfriend break up, your son may even have to endure a step mom that won't accept him and treats him like he's not wanted. How would you like it if his new woman came between your son and his dad. How would you feel if another woman was mean to your son every time he went to see his dad. You need to make your family work and stay together. It might not be easy, but here are books and people that can help you. Do it for your son. I'm saying this as someone who was the daughter. My dad left it to my step mom (who didn't want us) to raise us, she was overworked, our family was miserable, all the kids ended up with 'issues', even her bio ones. Eventually our family fell apart.