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I don't want the garbage man to ever see me. I put my trash out real early on trash day and listen carefully for the garbage man so I can hide or get inside when he gets close. Then I wait until he is far enough down the road before I come out of hiding.
is it normal to hide from the garbage man?
Just go outfuckingside and say hi to the garbageman forfucksake. Maybe you'll find him to be sexy.
He's not. I spy on him from the crawlspace. He was shirtless today. He's got a nice bod from all the heavy lifting but he isn't pretty in the face.
What are you putting in your trash that you'd have to be so ashamed of? You know that you should dispose of the dead bodies in ways which cannot be linked to you.
Oh there's been things in there. Things NOBODY should see. Things I wish I didn't see.
Like what? Bloody maxi pads, or is it more like used adult diapers?
Mwahahaha!!!!
A bunch of court summons and bad poetry (I really need to get a paper shredder), tons of booze bottles, some mummified animal remains, ziplock bags I use to marinate meat but they look like bags of diarrhea, several pairs of underwear and shorts that I've muddied real bad, a ton of little bags of cat shit per week, and for some reason my broom handle breaks every week and somehow gets this strange brown smelly substance on it and who knows what he thinks that is due to. I also fell onto a box of Christmas decorations and a week later the same thing but it was a box of lawn darts and some got lodged "somewhere" and I had to throw them away so he probably thinks I am some kind of accident prone person who keeps a cluttered house. That's all of the stuff I'm willing to admit to.
I don't want my likeness associated with my trash. Sort of like primitives who fear their soul being stolen by having a photo taken, I feel if he sees me he will own part of me.
Just say "Hi" to the man. Nothing bad's gonna happen. Be friendly. It sounds to me, like you are some rich person, that thinks that a garbage man is some sort of scum. I know the garbage man in my neighbourhood. He's a cool guy. When I see him, we discuss football, cars, hot women :D
Conceal a Molotov cocktail in your garbage. That should sort out your problem.
You can use it as a time bomb if you use a reed as the wick. Think of Prometheus and how he took fire to earth in greek mythology. Same thing. And I think I of all people should know the workings of a Molotov cocktail.
time bomb? It's a bottle of gasoline, come on.
What kind of reed? The kind you find in a swamp? A saxophone reed? Lou reed?
I fail to see how a reed could act as a time delay device or how a bottle of gasoline could act as a bomb.
...And quit trying to burn the poor garbageman. Burn someone who deserves it for fuck's sake.
Molotov cocktails are extremely versatile. I was talking about bullrush style reeds. They have a porous centre which burns slowly, and the hard outer case does not burn. 5 centimetres may take half an hour. You could also use a cigar, but the garbage man might smell a rat (or a Molotov cocktail) when he sees smoke pouring out of bin. Most garbage men are friendly, I agree, but there must be some who deserve a good Molotov cocktailing.
It's normal because however way you act upon it is just instinctively in you.
Good Grief! Just relax and say "hi" to him if you see him. Who knows? You and he might end up having a lot in common.