It's not just normal it's healthy to not want to be "that desperate girl". Acting desperate serves no purpose except to destroy your self esteem. Even if you feel desperate it's better to keep that between you and God. You can keep a journal. It doesn't have to be in a paper diary in a book. You could do it electronically and password protect it. Also you could confide in someone you really trust like a close friend or mentor. Whatever you do don't go desperately running after him begging to get back together! Hang on to your feelings of not wanting to be desperate and hang in there girl. If it feels like it's too overwhelming maybe consult with a therapist or talk to a priest or minister but don't degrade yourself. If it's any consolation there are also dudes who have found themselves becoming "that guy." Nobody wants to become anyone's psycho-ex. You can be brave and face the facts and your first step is to accept that you are powerless over how he feels about you and whether or not he loves you. Don't ask "how could he say that" but just understand he could say it because it's true that he doesn't love you anymore. It's not the end of the world even if it feels like it's the end. You're 17 years old too young to get married and have children and possibly ruin your life. Now is the time to focus on your education and your future; your dreams! Sometimes rejection is protection from God. All the best to you.
Is it normal I don't wana be "that desperate girl"
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It's not just normal it's healthy to not want to be "that desperate girl". Acting desperate serves no purpose except to destroy your self esteem. Even if you feel desperate it's better to keep that between you and God. You can keep a journal. It doesn't have to be in a paper diary in a book. You could do it electronically and password protect it. Also you could confide in someone you really trust like a close friend or mentor. Whatever you do don't go desperately running after him begging to get back together! Hang on to your feelings of not wanting to be desperate and hang in there girl. If it feels like it's too overwhelming maybe consult with a therapist or talk to a priest or minister but don't degrade yourself. If it's any consolation there are also dudes who have found themselves becoming "that guy." Nobody wants to become anyone's psycho-ex. You can be brave and face the facts and your first step is to accept that you are powerless over how he feels about you and whether or not he loves you. Don't ask "how could he say that" but just understand he could say it because it's true that he doesn't love you anymore. It's not the end of the world even if it feels like it's the end. You're 17 years old too young to get married and have children and possibly ruin your life. Now is the time to focus on your education and your future; your dreams! Sometimes rejection is protection from God. All the best to you.