Is it normal i don't wana be "that desperate girl"

85% Normal
8 Comments

I'm a 17 yr old girl my bf is also 17. We have been dating since we were 15 and have never broken up or had any real probs. I mean we fight but not too much and it gets resolved.
He broke up with me yesterday because he fell out of love because for the past few weeks we had some probs. I am the jealous type. I thought he would change his ways when it came to other girls he thought I would change my ways when it came to getting mad over him hanging out with other girls. He did hang out with them but never alone sometimes just with 2 close girlfriends. That made me mad. He said he wants freedom. That he doesn't wanna wonder if I'm gonna get mad at something.
It hurt so bad when he said I don't love u anymore.
When we were talking I became "that girl". The one who cries and shows her weakness. I said let's compromise. We can fix this. I love u. I need u. Blah blah blah.
We decided not to talk til next week when we will meet up. He isn't fully sure what he wants yet. This week he will decide. But he said he pretty much made up his mind meaning we r over.
We were so happy it was great. I love him so much. We thought of marriage after college. I can't bear to hear him say he doesn't love me anymore. It makes me physically sick. I can't breathe and I feel like I will barf.
But is it normal that I didn't wanna be "that girl". The weak crying girl who begs him to stay? All I want is him. Why can't I be brave and face the facts?
After all this time how could he say that?

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85% Normal
Based on 47 votes (40 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    It's not just normal it's healthy to not want to be "that desperate girl". Acting desperate serves no purpose except to destroy your self esteem. Even if you feel desperate it's better to keep that between you and God. You can keep a journal. It doesn't have to be in a paper diary in a book. You could do it electronically and password protect it. Also you could confide in someone you really trust like a close friend or mentor. Whatever you do don't go desperately running after him begging to get back together! Hang on to your feelings of not wanting to be desperate and hang in there girl. If it feels like it's too overwhelming maybe consult with a therapist or talk to a priest or minister but don't degrade yourself. If it's any consolation there are also dudes who have found themselves becoming "that guy." Nobody wants to become anyone's psycho-ex. You can be brave and face the facts and your first step is to accept that you are powerless over how he feels about you and whether or not he loves you. Don't ask "how could he say that" but just understand he could say it because it's true that he doesn't love you anymore. It's not the end of the world even if it feels like it's the end. You're 17 years old too young to get married and have children and possibly ruin your life. Now is the time to focus on your education and your future; your dreams! Sometimes rejection is protection from God. All the best to you.

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  • BraveNewWorld
    12 years ago

    Break ups hurt, but don't dwell on him. I've had relationships where in the moment, I thought we were perfect for each other, but with a little hindsight, you'll see that it really wasn't the case. There are other guys, and to be honest, unless you had amazing luck, a relationship that starts at 15 isn't bound to work out. I've seen it happen, and they couldn't be happier, but with them, it was obvious, beyond any shadow of a doubt that they were meant to be together.

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  • 1985
    13 years ago

    It's normal. been there, done that. DON"T text him, DON'T call him, DON'T email him, etc. The more you'll try to be with him, the less he'll appreciate you. And why would you like to stay with someone who doesn't want you any more?? You know what helps? Stay busy, go out with friends, cry if you need to, you got the idea. You'll be fine. And usually they come back when they keep your dignity ;)

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  • alexhendrix90
    13 years ago

    ok well to start with i would love to have a gf like that cuz that to me just tells me that she really loves me and wants to be with me

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  • ~L~
    13 years ago

    Don't worry, it's normal to not want to show weakness. I hope everything works out for you ^_^

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  • combatgal856
    13 years ago

    First of all I understand such break ups hurt, but let me show it to you from he's point of view: Who wants there partner to be controlling who they see and don't see, it puts pressure on you and makes you want to rebell. Then you appear to be the despearate type because you are showing him that you are scared he might leave you for another girl which shows lack of confidence and also lack of trust. But yes no one want to be 'that girl' as it appears to be a weaker position, but in a way thats how you came across, and I'm sure if you were(or are if that is what the future holds) willing to trust him and allow him to pick and choose and see he's friends, he will love you for it. Especially at 17, young people enjoy their space and freedom and do not like people telling them what to do.

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  • waterfalls02
    13 years ago

    You need to get over him. If he doesn't love you you will just suffer more and more. It's better to let it go, really.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Yeah it is norm. You do not want to be all weak to get him back. It sounds like you would rather forcefully want him to love you, and that is normal

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