Not everything has to be immediate like bang, bang, bang. The "friends first" thing is more about taking your time to get to know someone and, in many cases, to find out whether you want to pursue something.
We all rush into relationships with people and then start finding things we don't like about them. If the things cause enough incompatibility, you break up, feelings are hurt, etc., etc.
Why not avoid all that by learning about someone before committing to a sexual relationship? I'm not suggesting a relationship is as impersonal as a business relationship but you wouldn't pick a business partner solely on them catching your eye one time. Why be frivolous in love?
I'm playing devil's advocate here, by the way, because of the people I've been with, it's been a minority of times that we've been friends with the idea of one day something more. I have done it on occasion, though.
IIN I don't understand "friends first and see if something develops"
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Not everything has to be immediate like bang, bang, bang. The "friends first" thing is more about taking your time to get to know someone and, in many cases, to find out whether you want to pursue something.
We all rush into relationships with people and then start finding things we don't like about them. If the things cause enough incompatibility, you break up, feelings are hurt, etc., etc.
Why not avoid all that by learning about someone before committing to a sexual relationship? I'm not suggesting a relationship is as impersonal as a business relationship but you wouldn't pick a business partner solely on them catching your eye one time. Why be frivolous in love?
I'm playing devil's advocate here, by the way, because of the people I've been with, it's been a minority of times that we've been friends with the idea of one day something more. I have done it on occasion, though.
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dom180
11 years ago
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You play devil's advocate well; you've said what I was going to say as my actual thoughts! :P
This.