It sounds like you have some issues with letting yourself go, or maybe with trust? If you are so afraid of letting go of control (AKA emotional distance) it may be the cause of this.
If there is nothing in your thoughts, or your past/present that would account for your behaviour (that you can think of), and you feel that it is entirely out of your control, then perhaps you should talk to a doctor. But before doing anything so drastic, I think you should take "short4words"'s advice. Perhaps you can figure it out on your own.
Is it normal I don't love?
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It sounds like you have some issues with letting yourself go, or maybe with trust? If you are so afraid of letting go of control (AKA emotional distance) it may be the cause of this.
If there is nothing in your thoughts, or your past/present that would account for your behaviour (that you can think of), and you feel that it is entirely out of your control, then perhaps you should talk to a doctor. But before doing anything so drastic, I think you should take "short4words"'s advice. Perhaps you can figure it out on your own.