If I had a dime for every time someone said or implied they were asexual. Asexuality is extremely rare, and the majority that claim to be aren't asexual at all.
I get where you're coming from man, I do. But like what else would you call yourself then? I mean chances are that people who claim to be asexual really aren't that, but what else would they then identify themselves as? See what I mean, even if you're not that, it's still something to label yourself as. In some ways you can sympathize with those people so hell even more of a reason to gravitates towards asexuality. What else are you going to label yourself as?
I think the fact that many of them seem to be virgins has more to do with it than anything else. It's easy not to be interested in something if you have no idea what it even feels like.
They rush ahead and think they don't want sex but they don't know sex to begin with type of thing.
I agree with you on that. Being a virgin would probably make you want sex less since you don't really know what it is or what it entails. Although at the expense of sounding like a douchebag I will like to add that I think this mainly applies to females.
I recently was thinking about this and have a clearer answer. I've wondered about it because I'm not quite asexual but am not like other heterosexual males either.
I'm closest to what's called demisexual. There is also what's called greysexual which is basically someone with a low sex drive, which might describe the op.
I have a normal sex drive, but do not have much sexual interest in anyone until I get to know them well. I have no understanding of different types of relationships and see everyone in the same ways. I either like them, or I don't. Sexually I am only interested in women but I think our society seems to frown upon physical contact unless you are in a relationship with someone, which is frusterating for me. I have had girlfriends but still don't understand how romance works and have no need for romantic relationships although I like having an assortment of female friends. I do have a desire for physical contact, but it's more of a physical need to release hormones for me. Things like hugging, cuddling and massages are completely non-sexual to me but I like them for comfort reasons. I think it's too bad our society puts a sexual stigma on most physical contact.
I could actually believe that, I mean really that actually seems like what the OP describes and I think what a lot of people who claim to be asexual probably describe.
As for the whole wanting physical contact but not in a sexual way I find interesting. Cause like in some ways I can understand what you mean, like you want someone to hold you, it doesn't have to be sexual. I've felt that way sometimes, but I've never actually had a friend comfort me in that way. From the sound of it, it seems like you perhaps are demisexual. Although I personally don't know the different types of sexualities that exist nor do I really know what it means to be like any of those said sexualities. But based on googling what demisexuals are and how you act it seems like a proper term to describe your sexual identity. I wish that society didn't put a sexual stigma on physical contact either. Because honestly what you describe, like the whole enjoying things like hugs for comfort reasons is something that I've felt a need for a times. I mean I love it when I get a hug from a friend, there's something about that physical contact that feels, I don't know like home? Honestly we all need a hug every now and then.
I wish more people didn't stigmatize physical contact as all being sexual. To me it seems society has brainwashed us to think that it usually is. I do enjoy sex as well but it's more of a primitive desire for me than anything. I'm also quite picky and it's usually not worth the effort to me. I know I do not have standard feelings on how sex and relationships work. The only part that makes it difficult for me is that I am in a society that conforms differently.
I've also noticed people think of massages as sexually. I don't get why pleasureful physical contact is usually though of as sexual. Honestly men give better massages and I'm not even gay. It's just how it usually is.
I hate that if I want a massage females think of it as a sexual advance, straight men think it's gay, and gay men get the wrong impression.
I just want someone to rub the fucking knots out of my back so I can relax better without paying $50 at the mall.
I've never really craved a massage but I get what you mean. Something that is suppose to be thought of as relaxing has been turned into an act of sexual prowess.
Honestly society has weird notions of sex. I mean just in general look at how bodies are seen. I mean if you love your body that's great, but you can't show it off otherwise you're seen as shameful for doing so. But really what's the harm in loving your body and wanting to show it off in public, like wearing tight fitting cloth to accentuate your curves. I like the way you look at relationships, it seems like you're more honest about what you desires than most people I know.
Thanks, it's just that I know where ItDuz is coming from but at the same time I also know where the OP is coming from. I try to look at things from both sides of the coin, as opposed to just seeing heads.
That's exactly the way I see things. Sticking to a rigid opinion that you haven't explored but merely accepted is perfectly valid but means only understanding one side. Trying to understand the other (or many other) side(s) might lead to the same overall opinion but there's a whole ocean of different views that have swung the tide in that direction. They've been considered. And that is a good thing. :)
I like the analogy about the ocean cause you're right, there are plenty of opinion drops that all fall into the same sea, but without acknowledging how someone sees something then you're not going to learn anything. Nobody ever learns anything from someone who fully agrees with you.
Let me just say now, since I scanned over your name and it shows you to be new that I hope you enjoy you're time on here. And learn that we're not all weirdos. Also I hope you see this as a safe community to express your opinions. Welcome to shey'normal, enjoy your stay :D
I see where you're coming from, but it doesn't hurt anyone for them to say they're asexual (whether they are or aren't). Let everyone figure out their sexual orientation at their own rate.
But you gotta understand that a majority of people who are asexual would probably come to a website like this looking for answers. On the side of that, most people who are asexual never realize that they're asexual or don't find out until much later on in life because it's so unheard of so it would be really hard to get an accurate percentage.
Is it normal I don't like people sexually?
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If I had a dime for every time someone said or implied they were asexual. Asexuality is extremely rare, and the majority that claim to be aren't asexual at all.
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Asexuality is extremely rare? Not on this site apparently.
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That's exactly my point.It's rare, yet probably the majority of the people on this site claim to be asexual.
I get where you're coming from man, I do. But like what else would you call yourself then? I mean chances are that people who claim to be asexual really aren't that, but what else would they then identify themselves as? See what I mean, even if you're not that, it's still something to label yourself as. In some ways you can sympathize with those people so hell even more of a reason to gravitates towards asexuality. What else are you going to label yourself as?
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I think the fact that many of them seem to be virgins has more to do with it than anything else. It's easy not to be interested in something if you have no idea what it even feels like.
They rush ahead and think they don't want sex but they don't know sex to begin with type of thing.
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I agree with you on that. Being a virgin would probably make you want sex less since you don't really know what it is or what it entails. Although at the expense of sounding like a douchebag I will like to add that I think this mainly applies to females.
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Tommythecat.
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You douchebag how dare you say things that are probably true maybe. But yeah I reckon so too.
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That actually made release a lot of air from my nostrils as I smirked.
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I did the same thing while reading about how you did it just now. It's contagious like yawning. Then I yawned, because I wrote the word yawning.
I recently was thinking about this and have a clearer answer. I've wondered about it because I'm not quite asexual but am not like other heterosexual males either.
I'm closest to what's called demisexual. There is also what's called greysexual which is basically someone with a low sex drive, which might describe the op.
I have a normal sex drive, but do not have much sexual interest in anyone until I get to know them well. I have no understanding of different types of relationships and see everyone in the same ways. I either like them, or I don't. Sexually I am only interested in women but I think our society seems to frown upon physical contact unless you are in a relationship with someone, which is frusterating for me. I have had girlfriends but still don't understand how romance works and have no need for romantic relationships although I like having an assortment of female friends. I do have a desire for physical contact, but it's more of a physical need to release hormones for me. Things like hugging, cuddling and massages are completely non-sexual to me but I like them for comfort reasons. I think it's too bad our society puts a sexual stigma on most physical contact.
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Anime7
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I could actually believe that, I mean really that actually seems like what the OP describes and I think what a lot of people who claim to be asexual probably describe.
As for the whole wanting physical contact but not in a sexual way I find interesting. Cause like in some ways I can understand what you mean, like you want someone to hold you, it doesn't have to be sexual. I've felt that way sometimes, but I've never actually had a friend comfort me in that way. From the sound of it, it seems like you perhaps are demisexual. Although I personally don't know the different types of sexualities that exist nor do I really know what it means to be like any of those said sexualities. But based on googling what demisexuals are and how you act it seems like a proper term to describe your sexual identity. I wish that society didn't put a sexual stigma on physical contact either. Because honestly what you describe, like the whole enjoying things like hugs for comfort reasons is something that I've felt a need for a times. I mean I love it when I get a hug from a friend, there's something about that physical contact that feels, I don't know like home? Honestly we all need a hug every now and then.
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I wish more people didn't stigmatize physical contact as all being sexual. To me it seems society has brainwashed us to think that it usually is. I do enjoy sex as well but it's more of a primitive desire for me than anything. I'm also quite picky and it's usually not worth the effort to me. I know I do not have standard feelings on how sex and relationships work. The only part that makes it difficult for me is that I am in a society that conforms differently.
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Anime7
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I've also noticed people think of massages as sexually. I don't get why pleasureful physical contact is usually though of as sexual. Honestly men give better massages and I'm not even gay. It's just how it usually is.
I hate that if I want a massage females think of it as a sexual advance, straight men think it's gay, and gay men get the wrong impression.
I just want someone to rub the fucking knots out of my back so I can relax better without paying $50 at the mall.
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Anime7
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I've never really craved a massage but I get what you mean. Something that is suppose to be thought of as relaxing has been turned into an act of sexual prowess.
Honestly society has weird notions of sex. I mean just in general look at how bodies are seen. I mean if you love your body that's great, but you can't show it off otherwise you're seen as shameful for doing so. But really what's the harm in loving your body and wanting to show it off in public, like wearing tight fitting cloth to accentuate your curves. I like the way you look at relationships, it seems like you're more honest about what you desires than most people I know.
I like the way you think about things.
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Thanks, it's just that I know where ItDuz is coming from but at the same time I also know where the OP is coming from. I try to look at things from both sides of the coin, as opposed to just seeing heads.
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That's exactly the way I see things. Sticking to a rigid opinion that you haven't explored but merely accepted is perfectly valid but means only understanding one side. Trying to understand the other (or many other) side(s) might lead to the same overall opinion but there's a whole ocean of different views that have swung the tide in that direction. They've been considered. And that is a good thing. :)
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Anime7
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I like the analogy about the ocean cause you're right, there are plenty of opinion drops that all fall into the same sea, but without acknowledging how someone sees something then you're not going to learn anything. Nobody ever learns anything from someone who fully agrees with you.
Let me just say now, since I scanned over your name and it shows you to be new that I hope you enjoy you're time on here. And learn that we're not all weirdos. Also I hope you see this as a safe community to express your opinions. Welcome to shey'normal, enjoy your stay :D
I see where you're coming from, but it doesn't hurt anyone for them to say they're asexual (whether they are or aren't). Let everyone figure out their sexual orientation at their own rate.
whats asexual like plants and lizards?
But you gotta understand that a majority of people who are asexual would probably come to a website like this looking for answers. On the side of that, most people who are asexual never realize that they're asexual or don't find out until much later on in life because it's so unheard of so it would be really hard to get an accurate percentage.