Iin I don't like being eaten out?

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  • Someone not enjoying a particular type of sexual activity is not a problem. If your partner is disregarding your wishes and ignoring your clearly stated preferences, then that is a problem. Good sex is about finding things that you both enjoy doing.

    It's interesting how you mention the possibility of using a tongue-condom. (Do such things actually exist?) Surely a condom would make the sensation even slipperier and more "gooey"? Are you sure that it's the physical sensations that you find totally meh, or is it maybe more about what's going on in your head?

    My second wife had serious sexual hangups. She enjoyed PIV sex, had no problems reaching orgasm that way or by manual stimulation, and she really enjoyed giving me head, but she never got over the idea that her vagina was "dirty". I never figured out if it was down to messages she got as a child from her mother, or if it was related to some childhood abuse she would never discuss with me, but her thighs would automatically clamp shut whenever my mouth approached her pussy and she wouldn't touch my penis after we'd had PIV sex.

    I would have loved to regularly give her oral sex, but that just wasn't her thing, and so I stopped suggesting it after a while. The women I was involved with before and after her seemed to think my technique was at least reasonably competent, so I always thought she was closing herself off from a lot of pleasure, but I respected her choice.

    You say you're "stuck" with your partner, but unless you live in a screwed up country where men effectively own their women or you're physically restrained, you know that's not actually true. If you stay with him or her, that's your choice. Your partner may feel that their motivations are unselfish and positive, but if you don't want them to perform cunnilingus on you and you state that clearly, then they are either sexually assaulting you or raping you, depending on the legal definition of those terms where you live.

    It's normal in sexual relationships for the two people to each have different things that they particularly like. In a successful relationship, there will always be compromises and each person will be happy to do things just because they know it's something the other person enjoys. But if someone in a relationship feels that they are constantly being forced to endure something that actually disgusts them, then that will poison the relationship, and it is probably doomed.

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