I think sexuality is a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on that spectrum. I think it's unusual to meet someone who is truly bi (ie likes both men and women completely equally) but more common than accepted to find straight men and women who are curious and happy to experiment, or gay men and women who sometimes express interest in the opposite sex as well. I mean, all you need to do to verify this is spend ten minutes on IIN.
You are right that sexuality is a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on that spectrum. But I think you have your terminology wrong and I think that's what LizardSkin was referring to.
To be truly bi means you are attracted to more than one gender, not necessarily in equal percentages. Period. Some bisexual people are mostly attracted to men and a little bit to women, some bisexual people are mostly attracted to women and a little bit to men. You don't have to be attracted to each sex equally to be bi.
If a "gay" man expresses interest in females as well, he's bi, EVEN if it's only "sometimes". If a "lesbian" is attracted to men sometimes, she's bi.
I don't agree. I think people are allowed to choose their own identity and people can identify as gay even if they're still slightly attracted to the opposite sex. We've agreed that sexuality operates on a spectrum, which means the vast majority of people are bi by your definition, which obviously isn't true. However, when I was commenting to the OP, by 'truly bi' I meant in the sense I assumed he/she meant - mostly when people say 'I don't believe in bisexuality', they mean that they don't believe that people can be equally attracted to both sexes. This was speculative on my part.
Personally, I think that few people are solely attracted to people of the opposite or same gender, but that doesn't mean that most people are bisexual. Lots of straight girls watch lesbian pornography or kiss their female friends, but that doesn't mean that they are bisexual or identify as such, and for them to do so would be a misnomer. Same with straight men who are curious about what it would be like to get a blowjob or a handjob from a guy. They aren't bisexual because they chose to identify as straight and pursue relationships/sexual experiences with the opposite sex. Does that make sense?
"We've agreed that sexuality operates on a spectrum, which means the vast majority of people are bi by your definition, which obviously isn't true."
Not necessarily. Whether that's true or not is hard to prove, likely because of the common misconceptions of what bisexuality is. That leads to people identifying as one thing, but acting like another - sometimes BEING bisexual but not knowing it. The myth of "you're not bisexual unless you are equally attracted to both sexes" plays a not insignificant part in this I'd think.
"It's not easy to find hard numbers on this. To quote scholar and activist Loraine Hutchins:
'Newer Kinsey Institute studies found both more evidence of bisexuality, and more denial. A late 80s study, for instance, showed 46 percent of (self-labeled) lesbians, not bisexuals, reporting having sex with men since in the '80s.'
Time Magazine said any statistic is unreliable because people who engage in such behavior don't consider themselves bisexual."
Yes, it makes sense in that I understand what you are saying and why. I just disagree with it. I do agree with you that anyone should be able to identify as whatever they feel they are.
But, respectfully, I don't agree with much of the rest of what you are saying.
When you used the term "truly bi" as "being equally attracted to both sexes", you are perpetuating a myth. I'm sure it was inadvertent, but still it's a myth. Perpetuating that myth makes it hard for people who identify as bi to be believed when they aren't equally attracted to everyone.
"MYTH: “One cannot identify as bisexual unless they like both men and women equally.”
FACT: Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to men and occasionally attracted to women. Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to women and occasionally attracted to men. Some prefer to date genderqueer or gender non-conforming partners. The spectrum of bisexual people includes all kinds of individual preferences. The only thing that bisexual people have in common is that they are attracted to people of more than one gender."
IIN I don't believe in Bi-sexuality?
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I think sexuality is a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on that spectrum. I think it's unusual to meet someone who is truly bi (ie likes both men and women completely equally) but more common than accepted to find straight men and women who are curious and happy to experiment, or gay men and women who sometimes express interest in the opposite sex as well. I mean, all you need to do to verify this is spend ten minutes on IIN.
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LizardSkin
9 years ago
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Bisexuality doesn't have to mean you like Men and Women EQUALLY. -Kinsey Scale.
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bleach_baby
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Yeah, obviously. The Kinsey Scale was what I referred to in my comment. I was explaining that to the OP.
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Maere
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You are right that sexuality is a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on that spectrum. But I think you have your terminology wrong and I think that's what LizardSkin was referring to.
To be truly bi means you are attracted to more than one gender, not necessarily in equal percentages. Period. Some bisexual people are mostly attracted to men and a little bit to women, some bisexual people are mostly attracted to women and a little bit to men. You don't have to be attracted to each sex equally to be bi.
If a "gay" man expresses interest in females as well, he's bi, EVEN if it's only "sometimes". If a "lesbian" is attracted to men sometimes, she's bi.
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bleach_baby
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I don't agree. I think people are allowed to choose their own identity and people can identify as gay even if they're still slightly attracted to the opposite sex. We've agreed that sexuality operates on a spectrum, which means the vast majority of people are bi by your definition, which obviously isn't true. However, when I was commenting to the OP, by 'truly bi' I meant in the sense I assumed he/she meant - mostly when people say 'I don't believe in bisexuality', they mean that they don't believe that people can be equally attracted to both sexes. This was speculative on my part.
Personally, I think that few people are solely attracted to people of the opposite or same gender, but that doesn't mean that most people are bisexual. Lots of straight girls watch lesbian pornography or kiss their female friends, but that doesn't mean that they are bisexual or identify as such, and for them to do so would be a misnomer. Same with straight men who are curious about what it would be like to get a blowjob or a handjob from a guy. They aren't bisexual because they chose to identify as straight and pursue relationships/sexual experiences with the opposite sex. Does that make sense?
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Maere
9 years ago
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Maere
9 years ago
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One more point:
"We've agreed that sexuality operates on a spectrum, which means the vast majority of people are bi by your definition, which obviously isn't true."
Not necessarily. Whether that's true or not is hard to prove, likely because of the common misconceptions of what bisexuality is. That leads to people identifying as one thing, but acting like another - sometimes BEING bisexual but not knowing it. The myth of "you're not bisexual unless you are equally attracted to both sexes" plays a not insignificant part in this I'd think.
<a href="http://www.examiner.com/article/bisexuality-101-how-many-bisexuals-are-out-there" rel="nofollow">http://www.examiner.com/article/bisexuality-101...</a>
"It's not easy to find hard numbers on this. To quote scholar and activist Loraine Hutchins:
'Newer Kinsey Institute studies found both more evidence of bisexuality, and more denial. A late 80s study, for instance, showed 46 percent of (self-labeled) lesbians, not bisexuals, reporting having sex with men since in the '80s.'
Time Magazine said any statistic is unreliable because people who engage in such behavior don't consider themselves bisexual."
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bleach_baby
9 years ago
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I actually think we're agreeing here, we're just saying it in different ways. :)
Yes, it makes sense in that I understand what you are saying and why. I just disagree with it. I do agree with you that anyone should be able to identify as whatever they feel they are.
But, respectfully, I don't agree with much of the rest of what you are saying.
When you used the term "truly bi" as "being equally attracted to both sexes", you are perpetuating a myth. I'm sure it was inadvertent, but still it's a myth. Perpetuating that myth makes it hard for people who identify as bi to be believed when they aren't equally attracted to everyone.
<a href="http://www.glaad.org/blog/celebrate-bisexuality-glaad-dispels-common-myths-and-stereotypes" rel="nofollow">http://www.glaad.org/blog/celebrate-bisexuality...</a>
"MYTH: “One cannot identify as bisexual unless they like both men and women equally.”
FACT: Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to men and occasionally attracted to women. Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to women and occasionally attracted to men. Some prefer to date genderqueer or gender non-conforming partners. The spectrum of bisexual people includes all kinds of individual preferences. The only thing that bisexual people have in common is that they are attracted to people of more than one gender."