Is it normal i can't talk to guys?

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5 Comments

Alright, so it might sound silly but is it normal that I can't talk to guys normally? Like, I know AFTER I have that 'hesitation' before/during a conversation with a guy I'll automatically think whether they're boyfriend material (which is sort of... I don't want to think this way?!)

I honestly don't know why I think this way. I have this guy friend who I consciously really want to remain FRIENDS with because... it's just comfortable to talk about video games etc. etc. with him. That is, I LIKE guy Friends too. (Unconsciously I still think sometimes whether I'd like to go out with him, and then I have to be like: "Yo girl! What you thinking!" in my head. Gah...!)

I have never had a boyfriend (or a "proper" one anyway), I'm 20... I'm afraid it's because I'm just desperate, which is sort of gross. I don't mean to offend anyone(?), I just don't want to be a "desperate" girl. There's a lot I should/could focus on instead (being in university, pre-job, you know) and I want someone to love me as much as I will love him. I've had a boyfriend once (out of desperation), but there was no "spark" and it so awkward... breaking up was actually a relief more than heartbreaking.

But it feels like I have this "desperation" that is leaking out into half of my ability to converse. Help?!

It's not like I can't converse either. Like, I could make new friends with girls quite easily (or have a relaxed conversation with no weird stiffness anyway)... but if it's a guy I... I think the way I end up talking/acting is weird even if I don't want to be? I also don't really start up conversation as normally? And I try to end the conversation quickly too. The sad thing is, the more interesting I find a guy is, the worse this gets.

And the thing is, I'm not even sure if I'm straight anymore. I've had a crush on my friend (girl) around 2 years ago. My feelings are over now (sort of... I don't know if I'd want to dorm with her ever again, but she is still a close friend that I love and respect very much.)

But if this "persecution" in my conversations persist... seriously, if I can't even talk to a guy normally, how can I ever really get to know a guy, let alone love him?

(is it normal to just hope a charming prince will love me despite this speech impediment at 20? T__T;;)

(PS. If this has been written before, sorry. I fail at search functions in general.)

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • shin10912
    11 years ago | pl

    hmm maybe I have the same problem, but the other way around. I look at girls and think "would she be a good gf?" which is pretty weird. I kind of think I'm desperate too. but I try to just talk and laugh instead of flartting with girls. I also have a girl in my dorm who I feel like I like her but then I tell myself she likes other guys and I want to be just a good guy friend. listing all the similarity between me and you doesn't really do anything but I guess it's just what people go through sometimes.

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  • Tempest-au
    6 years ago | pl

    This might sound a little weird, but I had the same problem when I was a teenage boy trying to talk to women.

    My solution was to "presume" all women were lesbians. Obviously, as lesbians they would have no interest in me "intimately", and I had no reason to try and impress them, etc - so with this little mental trick, women suddenly became approachable.

    Then, when I was talking to all these women the same as I would talk to guys, the oddest thing happened... I ended up with a HUGE collection of female friends, many of whom wanted "something more".

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  • Downcast7
    11 years ago | pl

    Yeah. Its vice versa for me. But instead it becomes an annoying lust later on, so its hard to look some girls or even girls who are friends in the eye and be comfortable about it. Im 19 to be 20 this year, and im just as desperate as you are. Just hang in there. :)

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  • Jbeiberhole69
    11 years ago | pl

    u r a lonely 20 year old women go suck a guys dick then fuck him... then youll get yourself a proper boyfriend

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