I have to disagree. I think that you are affected by a sort of chronic depression. It's quite common for people to feel that such feelings are a part of their character because it's hard to say when they first became apparent. There's a name for this type of depression, but I'm not sure how much it would actually help you to know that. It's characterised by an almost everyday low mood, a decreased ability to concentrate and to feel pleasure amongst other things.
You probably suspected this anyway, which is why you mentioned the negative though attacks, lack of concentration and interests and the state of your mental health. I'm glad that you feel better than before.
Why do you think that you could not find any friends even though you attended the Bible Study group? Perhaps you just didn't meet people you could relate to (especially since you say that your attempts at being caring towards others aren't reciprocated.) If so, don't stop trying. Just one person on your side can make all the difference. Also, the world needs more people who care! So don't stop. Maybe the world isn't fair and many people are selfish, but that doesn't mean that things have to be hopeless.
Do you have any family with whom you can talk to?
I know how you are feeling. I'm currently on an "emotional high" (well, in conparison with how I usually feel anyway), but the lack of concentration is really messing me up too. The thing that is holding me in place is that I've got some people who (sort of?) care. I've managed to find and keep two good friends, so I'm lucky, especially how I'm not very talented in that department. Even so, I definitely know what you mean about dreading society and life. Just remember, things have gotten better and they can do so again.
Is it normal how I dread society and life?
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I have to disagree. I think that you are affected by a sort of chronic depression. It's quite common for people to feel that such feelings are a part of their character because it's hard to say when they first became apparent. There's a name for this type of depression, but I'm not sure how much it would actually help you to know that. It's characterised by an almost everyday low mood, a decreased ability to concentrate and to feel pleasure amongst other things.
You probably suspected this anyway, which is why you mentioned the negative though attacks, lack of concentration and interests and the state of your mental health. I'm glad that you feel better than before.
Why do you think that you could not find any friends even though you attended the Bible Study group? Perhaps you just didn't meet people you could relate to (especially since you say that your attempts at being caring towards others aren't reciprocated.) If so, don't stop trying. Just one person on your side can make all the difference. Also, the world needs more people who care! So don't stop. Maybe the world isn't fair and many people are selfish, but that doesn't mean that things have to be hopeless.
Do you have any family with whom you can talk to?
I know how you are feeling. I'm currently on an "emotional high" (well, in conparison with how I usually feel anyway), but the lack of concentration is really messing me up too. The thing that is holding me in place is that I've got some people who (sort of?) care. I've managed to find and keep two good friends, so I'm lucky, especially how I'm not very talented in that department. Even so, I definitely know what you mean about dreading society and life. Just remember, things have gotten better and they can do so again.