I had a similar experience. I had a "friend" in college and we wanted even to become blood brothers. It was somehow a close relationship, but more because I insisted on it, I wanted it more than him and he just didn't stop me or so.
Anyways, we had similar interests and spent time together, but soon he changed radically. I moved to another country and he changed his interests a lot, independently of my relocation. Before, we had a lot of topics to discuss such as hot chicks or sex, while slowly he got into a relationship and he became so committed to it that he was always saying he doesn't want that kind of attitude anymore. He is only willing to consider his girl, and cannot wait to marry her. Every discussion was boring and I was visibly pushing it, but it was never the same. We started arguing more and more until we had a big argument and stopped talking permanently for a year or so. I still think about it sometimes, but in the end it was only me trying to open the conversation again, while it was clear that he was interested only in his girl and nothing else. I do not condemn that, but I realized that we were not true friends, I pushed it and it was a strong association at the beginning, although still not what I thought it is, and now it's nothing at all.
I am glad I didn't do anything to symbolize a permanent connection, since I was clearly not fully aware of the situation. I had a tough life, he didn't, and I really wanted a friend, but he wasn't that way, it just happened that for 1 year we managed to spend a lot of time together, studying for finals. It was a good thing, but people change and that's it. I also changed my interests somehow, but I still wanted the old topics that made us both into conversing, and I was willing to stick only to them, but his change was so radical that was even incompatible with our old style somehow. He kept talking about becoming a father and how much he wants that, and it felt like one of those friends that get married and now kill all the fun.
People change and we don't expect the changes. Especially at an early age, it is very likely to underestimate the changes and to consider things like brotherhood or life long pledges. I learned from this that I should consider such relationships only after a very long time (I heard that 7 years is a good estimator) and critical consideration and many different changes to be able to predict what happens, if I do it at all.
So what happened to you is normal. We were young and we didn't know much about life, so it's ok. But you must understand that it was a bad decision many people make and now, that we confront the reality, we understand it and we get over it. So I suggest forgetting about the pledge and accepting the change. Just keep it as a precious memory, it was a good thing, but it ended now and that's that. Everything that is good has an end. A bottomless juice or an endless steak makes you sick. Next time when you think about a pledge be sure to consider all these aspects.
Is it normal for you to be mad over being demoted to groomsmen?
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I had a similar experience. I had a "friend" in college and we wanted even to become blood brothers. It was somehow a close relationship, but more because I insisted on it, I wanted it more than him and he just didn't stop me or so.
Anyways, we had similar interests and spent time together, but soon he changed radically. I moved to another country and he changed his interests a lot, independently of my relocation. Before, we had a lot of topics to discuss such as hot chicks or sex, while slowly he got into a relationship and he became so committed to it that he was always saying he doesn't want that kind of attitude anymore. He is only willing to consider his girl, and cannot wait to marry her. Every discussion was boring and I was visibly pushing it, but it was never the same. We started arguing more and more until we had a big argument and stopped talking permanently for a year or so. I still think about it sometimes, but in the end it was only me trying to open the conversation again, while it was clear that he was interested only in his girl and nothing else. I do not condemn that, but I realized that we were not true friends, I pushed it and it was a strong association at the beginning, although still not what I thought it is, and now it's nothing at all.
I am glad I didn't do anything to symbolize a permanent connection, since I was clearly not fully aware of the situation. I had a tough life, he didn't, and I really wanted a friend, but he wasn't that way, it just happened that for 1 year we managed to spend a lot of time together, studying for finals. It was a good thing, but people change and that's it. I also changed my interests somehow, but I still wanted the old topics that made us both into conversing, and I was willing to stick only to them, but his change was so radical that was even incompatible with our old style somehow. He kept talking about becoming a father and how much he wants that, and it felt like one of those friends that get married and now kill all the fun.
People change and we don't expect the changes. Especially at an early age, it is very likely to underestimate the changes and to consider things like brotherhood or life long pledges. I learned from this that I should consider such relationships only after a very long time (I heard that 7 years is a good estimator) and critical consideration and many different changes to be able to predict what happens, if I do it at all.
So what happened to you is normal. We were young and we didn't know much about life, so it's ok. But you must understand that it was a bad decision many people make and now, that we confront the reality, we understand it and we get over it. So I suggest forgetting about the pledge and accepting the change. Just keep it as a precious memory, it was a good thing, but it ended now and that's that. Everything that is good has an end. A bottomless juice or an endless steak makes you sick. Next time when you think about a pledge be sure to consider all these aspects.