Basically what everyone else said. I've been in the same situation too except it was with a female friend who I was friends with since high school, a few years after graduation and then in the beginning of college in which we finally went out, something that we both wanted to do here and there anyway. Lasted a few months, "something" supposedly happened around exam time in which she wasn't into things anymore, was friends for maybe a month and then I get the ignoring/silent treatment. Before going out, you don't know how close we were, we were life buddies, now its poof. I didn't smother her messages either. I'm very cool about it however as I've accepted this forced non-contact and is doing just fine.
However, I don't agree with it. Why is it okay for the female to start ignoring and being disgusted even if she didn't just straight SAY she didn't want to be friends? Why do we have to "get the hint" in a cruel way? What if the guy isn't trying to hook up again and wants to be even casual acquaintances?(If a guy is messaging too much or still pursuing then I could see it) Of course, this is why its best to let things fade to avoid those questions and emotions because there is plenty more to look forward to. Love yourself for a while and have some fun.
Thank you! I completely agree with what you said. I understand how she might be feeling, and I have been respectful and have been very cool about this whole ordeal the past few weeks. I don't smother her with messages--that seems to be what a few people here assumed. We sit next to each other every other day in class with another girl, and every morning I just say, "Good morning!" like a normal person and she'll reply with something very short. Then the three of us walk after class for a little bit before we split up. I would send her maybe a message every week the past few weeks--some to which she would respond and some not, but I guess I'll be stopping all messages since it could be annoying her.
It's very sad to think that I GOT the message, so she doesn't NEED to keep trying to give it to me. It's also unfortunate that this is happening because we've had some good times before I screwed it all up by acting on my feelings rather than keeping them locked up. Ah well. I guess time will tell if she's at all interested in actually being friends or not.
Yeah, I think people are justifying being rude or simply giving females too much power in this situation. Guys have feelings too and there isn't a need to play games with some unwritten rule, just be honest. I have stopped all contact with the person I mentioned and truthfully, the best way to show someone you don't need them is to stop greeting them completely and enjoy life without them.
Is it normal for this girl to be ignoring me after I asked her out?
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Basically what everyone else said. I've been in the same situation too except it was with a female friend who I was friends with since high school, a few years after graduation and then in the beginning of college in which we finally went out, something that we both wanted to do here and there anyway. Lasted a few months, "something" supposedly happened around exam time in which she wasn't into things anymore, was friends for maybe a month and then I get the ignoring/silent treatment. Before going out, you don't know how close we were, we were life buddies, now its poof. I didn't smother her messages either. I'm very cool about it however as I've accepted this forced non-contact and is doing just fine.
However, I don't agree with it. Why is it okay for the female to start ignoring and being disgusted even if she didn't just straight SAY she didn't want to be friends? Why do we have to "get the hint" in a cruel way? What if the guy isn't trying to hook up again and wants to be even casual acquaintances?(If a guy is messaging too much or still pursuing then I could see it) Of course, this is why its best to let things fade to avoid those questions and emotions because there is plenty more to look forward to. Love yourself for a while and have some fun.
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MmmHmm
10 years ago
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Thank you! I completely agree with what you said. I understand how she might be feeling, and I have been respectful and have been very cool about this whole ordeal the past few weeks. I don't smother her with messages--that seems to be what a few people here assumed. We sit next to each other every other day in class with another girl, and every morning I just say, "Good morning!" like a normal person and she'll reply with something very short. Then the three of us walk after class for a little bit before we split up. I would send her maybe a message every week the past few weeks--some to which she would respond and some not, but I guess I'll be stopping all messages since it could be annoying her.
It's very sad to think that I GOT the message, so she doesn't NEED to keep trying to give it to me. It's also unfortunate that this is happening because we've had some good times before I screwed it all up by acting on my feelings rather than keeping them locked up. Ah well. I guess time will tell if she's at all interested in actually being friends or not.
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Paradiddle
10 years ago
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Yeah, I think people are justifying being rude or simply giving females too much power in this situation. Guys have feelings too and there isn't a need to play games with some unwritten rule, just be honest. I have stopped all contact with the person I mentioned and truthfully, the best way to show someone you don't need them is to stop greeting them completely and enjoy life without them.