Is it normal for someone to not afford to take their child to seaworld

58% Normal

and its not far from them..will they be able to support another child?

Okay, I have friend who is 25 now and had children at age 18. Her child is now 8 yrs old, but she never takes him anywhere but mcdonalds and burger king.

I tell her take him to seaworld or the zoo or something like it and she always says "can't, thats expensive." So I say, why not get a job then? She says, "I don't need a job, I love being with my kids and I dont need luxuries like seaworld or the zoo" So I said, "The zoo is only $20 a person" and she said "yeah, that means me, my husband and my son which is over $60 with tax and you know i cant afford that"

So I then get frustrated because the KID IS BORED you have no idea.. he does nothing all day and never goes anywhere hes getting older..never went anywhere but burger king.. So I tell her "if you were making it, 90 dollars would be totally okay to you and now you're trying for another child. If you have another one, you wont be able to even go to burger king" and she says "I have money you know. I just use it wisely." So knowing how much her husband makes because she told me, I shoot back at her, "yeah, $22,000 a year between the both of you and paying off $1,000 of it a month or more leaving you nearly in debt. I had to lend you $600 to pay the bills last month. YOU NEED A JOB"

So then she said "eff you and your stupid thinking" So I said "I know you have less than $5,000 in your bank account you told me last month and you never lie about stuff like that" so she goes "So what at least I am living life while you slave away for 8 hours a day helping baby kittens with their broken paws"

Voting Results

58% Normal

Based on 59 votes (34 yes)

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Comments ( 54 )

seascape

13 years ago

oh doesn't it stir up emotions? don't they come out of the woodwork? SHE CARES ABOUT THE CHILD BEING SAD! Grow up? Author is more mature than dappled (your petticoat is showing) and tough nuts pen pal. KEEP CARING

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  Thank you seascape. Finally, someone with morals and common sense! The negative commenters are the type of people who end up in court for their ignorance.
  
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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

She needs to get her priorities straight, of course it's important to raise your kids, but how will she do it without any money?

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ladymantoloveyoulongtime

13 years ago

yeah she sounds like my sister in law. she had another kid just so she didnt have to work and she had their first because she was worried her husband would leave her. they always complain that they cant do a lot of things because they dont have money but she is just too lazy to do anything about it. they actually moved back in with her parents because she claimed that she couldnt handle just one kid and then they pop out another. the situation is just so screwed up and its always the kids that suffer for it. its funny that they dont have to pay any bills or rent or anything but they still cant afford to go out for dinner..... they even took out a loan just to go on a holiday which only cost a couple of grand. those kinds of people are not worth your time worrying about because they are NEVER GOING TO CHANGE. just be there for the kids when the cry out for help.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  You're right. Nice advice, thank you. I'm glad you can somehow relate!
  
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ladymantoloveyoulongtime

13 years ago

the mother is very lazy. she can get a part time job while the kid is at school. its just plain lazy. does she at least do the housework while the husband slaves away at work everyday?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  She claims she is the one who cleans, but their house is always messy, but I do know that her husband gets home from work and has to cook dinner for them. She never cooks, she hates it.
  
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Anonymous Post Author

13 years ago

I'm not even going to bother replying to any young kids on this site anymore. Its getting to the point where its absurd and I just don't have the patience for it. Get educated first before posting. Unless anyone has something actually useful, don't post. Thank you.

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Anonymous Post Author

13 years ago

For those of you commenting down which I'm assuming is the angry ones from above, why bother?

You're only showing others how stupid you really are. If you think you should have 2 children under these conditions, you would end up on the streets. You obviously aren't caring and are very self-centered. Think about others instead of thinking about yourselves. It just sickens me how many rude people are out there.

My friend isn't Mrs. Nice. She even swears in front of her children..not the F curse, but others. Shes not your typical parent and shes very much into herself.

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imtherealpandabear

13 years ago

I'd just ignore the immature ones on this site. There are way too many of them as it is, just ignore them and they won't do a thing else.

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Anonymous Post Author

13 years ago

Some people are so immature on here. Its a real shame.

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imtherealpandabear

13 years ago

People only scan stories sometimes and so, that leads to their blindness. I think its okay because they didnt realize it, but to get so worked up over it and to call the author out like that, not right. Some of you guys are way over the line. The OP(Author) has some very valid and realistic points. Yes, she was harsh to the friend, but it is that harshness that enables us to realize how the world works. Sometimes we need a slap in the face to realize what we're actually saying and this was just that. Her friend is obviously stubborn and I know from dealing with certain people that the only way to even attempt to get through to them is through harshness. Babying the language or treating them overly kind will result in absolutely nothing but the same continous cycle.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  Totally. Its way out of hand now, seriously.
  
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Anonymous Post Author

13 years ago

and that was on top of the 600.00 for bills. Why do I give them money? Because if I don't and if her parents don't (her mother sends her checks in the mail even though she resents it), they won't have anything left. I can't keep doing this, her parents can't, she needs a job.

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Anonymous Post Author

13 years ago

I not only gave her money to pay off bills, but I have given her over $300.00 in the past 12 months for gas, food and misc items just to help them stay alive. Its not right. Its obvious that she can't have another child and its also obvious that if she wants another, she needs to work. I'm not alone in this, her mother doesn't even talk to her anymore because shes so self absorbed. Also, my parents can't even stand it when I mention her. They always tell me to leave her, but shes a good person and I stick up for her. I really shouldn't, but thats what good people do.

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imtherealpandabear

13 years ago

I love the posters comment above me, what a fabrication, huh? I think shes ignorant. Shes going to be struggling. What about their education, will they go to college?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  Nope, she doesn't have the intention of paying for college unless its by financial aid. The child is deprived..they can't afford gas sometimes and ask their mother and father. Of course its not right of her to raise another child under these conditions. I think its selfish because shes always talking about getting a new dog, getting a new cat, and now, having another child.
  
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ladymantoloveyoulongtime

13 years ago

its hard for people to understand if they dont have first hand experience. we tried to talk to my sister in law about it but it just caused a lot of fights and in the end we only see them at xmas, if that. she is in denial about everything even though her husband says she is wrong, he stays with her because of the kids. thats the abridged version of the story anyway.

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seascape

13 years ago

thank you for submitting this story it is interesting to see how some people (who we thought were wise and kid) react when someone wants to be kind to a child. very interesting

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- seascape
  
  13 years ago
  
  *kind
  
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koifish

13 years ago

Stop giving her money b

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imtherealpandabear

13 years ago

I asked a new question to clear it up for you. Hoping it gets put through soon. Relax everyone! This is the internet, relax.

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seascape

13 years ago

to the author. you comment all you like!Do you shut your mouth when you see meaness? do you see a child being neglected? (its neglect not to love and it's not ALL about money} You're closer to the scene and you are upset for the child. You would know because you sound normal. Kind is normal. I see you backing off from these people , their parenting standards are so low. The only thing is the kid...could you take him out once a month? that would be ideal, feel very sorry for him. and btw we ALL have tales of hardship and woe from the past. means nothing if we dont learn from it!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  Great comment. I plan on taking him out more but feel its more her duty over mine. Thanks for your input!
  
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dappled

13 years ago

Well, when my mother was seven, her father died. That Christmas, with no food on the table and nothing to burn on the fire, the family walked the streets because it was the only way of getting warm.

I don't think missing out on Seaworld was at the forefront of her mind although fast food (had it existed) would almost certainly have been.

It's a matter of perspective. Just because someone else's kid doesn't have what you think your kids should have, it doesn't give you the right to comment. If you do want to comment then perhaps you should do something about deprived kids (in your own country and in others). Perhaps donate time and money to charity rather than whinge about it on a website.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  I'm sorry your mother had to endure that, but this is now, that was then. Of course it makes the child appreciate life so much more. But the difficulties they have to face each and every single day should not be so in this day and age. This is 2010. No one should have to ask their mommy and daddy for gas money,friends for bill money, etc. The child has only 6 or so shirts for crying out loud, they live in a tiny house..she doesnt want to work and now she wants another child. She will not be able to pay for anything with the new child or very little. Also, to add to your little charity comment, I do donate to charity. Have done so for the past 4 years. I'm a very concerned friend and I care about the well being of others. I'm sorry, that must be such a downfall.
  
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  - dappled
    
    13 years ago
    
    I accept what you say but I still think it's a matter of perspective. If taken worldwide, it's very definitely a matter of perspective. Living in a house with a car and clothes is, genuinely, something the minority of people on this planet have. I don't know what country you're in but there's a poverty line in even the richest countries, with people homeless and hopeless and lost.
    
    You are arguing at the very highest end of the spectrum, and I think it's a little small-minded. To most of the world, it's a little like Bill Gates criticising Donald Trump for buying his child a 200ft yacht instead of a 250ft yacht. Because, to most of the world, you and I are the equivalent of Bill Gates.
    
    All that aside, I understand that this is an individual case for concern for you, but while the child isn't malnourished, social deprived, or in danger of life-threatening disease due to infected water, a little boredom may just fire their imagination in other ways, rather than be responsible to others to constantly provide entertainment for them.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      13 years ago
      
      I understand how and what you're thinking, but the more simple idea is this..If they can't afford to raise another child even if they want one terribly so, why chance it now? If she really wants another, she can work. I just feel they will go into debt if she has another. Thats pretty much what will happen and her entire family will suffer when it could have been prevented. It's just so sad and so preventable, you know?
      
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      - imtherealpandabear
        
        13 years ago
        
        I so agree. Its selfish of her to not sacrifice her time to contribute to the family financially and change their status to in debt to okay.
        
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randomjelly

13 years ago

As annoying as it may be it's really none of your business.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  Its more sad than annoying. I babysat for him once just once and I took him to a movie. He LITERALLY told me that it was his first time going to a movie. The kid needs to get out more, no?
  
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randomjelly

13 years ago

I know it upsets you but there isn't really anything you can do...hate to hear about the poor kid. My parents didn't take me anywhere either but it really wasn't a big deal. They had lots of money...just preferred not to I guess.

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pi_man_31

12 years ago

whoever made this poll is the nicest person on the internet. giving poor, unfortunate hobos money, and always saying thank you after each advice comment. i'll probably have a thank you comment right under this within 48 hours of posting this comment

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OvejaNegra

13 years ago

She seem's stingy. Probably lazy and likes staying home all day.

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Yiu113

13 years ago

To be honest, at today's minimum wage($7.25), She could get a two-day job at Mcdonalds(And get cuts on eating there, :D), and make $87.00, and with that, she could take her whole family to seaworld, on only her money. Wow.

Please inform her of this.

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Psychosocial

13 years ago

From my experience with others, it sounds like they are on drugs- which is their own business as long as it doesn't hurt others. Too lazy to cook? A meal for 3 @ any fast food place could make 3 meals for 3 if you bought the groceries and cooked at home. The parents in question need to see someone and get their finances in order. Save a little here and there, and before you know it- theres money for a good time somewhere! I am a highly skilled construction worker/ electrician- but live in an economically depressed area. Hard to find steady work, and my wife and I struggle to make ends meet. We have 3 kids, and try to take them places whenever possible. Thanks for caring! And no thanks to those who say you're butting in when you're not supposed to.

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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

I would take her kid to seaworld and then the kid will like you better,then the parent without a job will be sad and need a job to make the kid like her again... :D

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moomus

13 years ago

I do see your point. I also can't see how
Someone who can take their kid to burger king or mc ds can't afford anything or do grocery shopping. Sounds like she needs to sort her priorities.

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hippychick

13 years ago

Um...back off. How is it any of your business? I would drop you as a friend in about ten seconds if you acted that rude to me. People's finances are their own business.

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ComeFlyWithMe

13 years ago

Yeah, it's not really your place to step in. Also, you are only enabling and encouraging her behavior by lending money.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  But it upsets me to the extreme. I can't even think about it without getting teary eyed. The child will never experience life. They always pick up mcdonalds or burger king for dinner..they barely go grocery shopping. I don't understand how she can have another child like that. I find it cruel to raise a child under these conditions. Is it not?
  
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one_guy

13 years ago

Yes sadly that sucks.she seems uneducated and ignorant. And is true is not your place to tell her anything. Stop letting her borrow money.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  Yeah, I know. She actually just called not too long ago and we talked it over. She actually told me she realizes how she does need to work after what I told her and is contemplating it. I guess all I can do is sit back now.
  
  Thanks for the advice.
  
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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

Why would you even bother to post this question, if you are not interested in the intelligent views of people who are trying to help you realize how wrong you are.

I think you need to stop being the Poor People Police and passing judgment on the way they deal with being poor amongst their own family. Stop being so close-minded.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  If you can't afford 1 child, a second is out of the question. My entire family as well as half of hers dislike her for even bringing up the idea. I know the story. I told as much of it as possible, but I think unless you knew her, you wouldn't fully understand.
  
  The point is obvious. YOU CAN'T have 2 children if you can't afford one. She should not have a second. It's stupidity of people like you that leads to debt. Common sense, really. Come on now.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  You missed the point of the question, nice try though.
  
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kricket

13 years ago

First of all, it really isn't anyone's business as to how much a family makes besides the family. It's people like you that the child will end up resenting in the end. Children can sense if they are being judged as well as their families. If they want a dog, let them have a dog or a cat. Have you perhaps thought that this may make the child happy? Yes, this person you speak of shouldn't be asking you for money but then why do you give it to her if all you do is bitch on this site after wards. People do need to figure things out for themselves. If you feel like Seaworld is a such a large and grand part of someones childhood then maybe you should take the kid there. You say it's 2010 but that doesn't mean people will be able to afford everything you can. Maybe you should look at yourself before judging others.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  I should have put in a different title. I think thats why you're getting so distressed over it. Its not going to seaworld that I'm concerned about. I was just trying to use that as a reference point to draw readers in. I was mainly asking, is it stupid for someone who isn't making it now, to have yet another child under these conditions?
  
  I was actually looking for advice on how to go about dealing with her ignorance and not how to make sure the child gets to seaworld. I do regret giving it that title now and I'm sorry you misunderstood.
  
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lol_bamf

13 years ago

That was a mean thing to say to a friend. There's a line and you crossed it. And life isn't all about money. She cares for him and loves him. If you honestly feel like she's neglecting him call Child Services.

But big amusement parks like that always turn out to be a disappointment anyway.

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penpal21

13 years ago

LOL, actually a hard-working father of two! But I'm a grown-up both in body and mind and maybe someday you will be, too.

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- imtherealpandabear
  
  13 years ago
  
  Oh boy. I'm almost embarrassed for you. Acting so immature and silly, I would have assumed a teen for sure. Well, they do say men take longer to mature...I was hoping that was just a myth, but in this case, it fits well.
  
  I was keeping a neutral stance until you came in and acted all oblivous to the circumstances the OP was discussing. Raising 2 children when they can barely afford one isn't smart. You know it, I know it, the OP knows it. Its common sense.
  
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penpal21

13 years ago

You're WAY out of line. If you see child abuse then report it to the authorities. But outside of that not everyone's values are your values and if you can't handle that then find different friends. Not sure what would be worse for the kid; learning apathy from his parents or narrow-mindedness and sanctimony from you. If you want to judge the values of others start with the person in the mirror. You based your whole discussion of their actions as parents on the basis of their finances without any consideration of how much they love their son. If that's how you measure people and what they have to offer then you're nothing but small-minded and shallow and don't deserve the happiness a special friendship with a child can bring into your life. Grow up.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  13 years ago
  
  You're obviously a stay at home lazy mommy.
  
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- imtherealpandabear
  
  13 years ago
  
  Holy cow. I should probably steer clear of the family section from now on, lol.
  
  So many fights on all of the questions, geez. I take it you're a stay at home and thats why you're overreacting like a child? The OP I couldn't agree with more. The woman is obviously loopy and doesn't understand how the world works. She needs to have a serious chat with her. OP, don't get offended by this person, shes obviously young and immature. Keep on showing the world your love!
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal for someone to not afford to take their child to seaworld