Is it normal for siblings to have played "doctor" together when younger?

When I was around 10 and my younger sister was around 8, we had another female child (older than us both) living with us. This girl introduced a more... I dunno... "advanced" version of "playing doctor" to us (not just looking at/touching each other's lower area, but grinding, etc.)... She told us both that it was normal, and once she left, we (my sister and I) continued to think so. Eventually, a year or so later, I realized it WASN'T normal, and brought an end to it. While we both participated, I WAS the older child in the situation, and therefore, have felt guilty ever since I realized it wasn't okay. I would like to emphasize the fact that my sister and I were both in home school/isolated COMPLETELY from a normal social life while growing up. We literally only saw each other and our immediate family for seven years, hence the reason it took so long for me/us to realize it wasn't normal or okay. Once I finally found (I believe I had stumbled across something online that let me know it wasn't okay) that it wasn't as okay as this older girl led us to believe, it stopped immediately. My sister and I recently (after years) finally discussed this again to get over the past. I feel horribly guilty, angry at the girl who introduced it and told us it was normal, and angry at myself. I've done some research and found that this is a more common occurrence that I originally thought, but I still wanted to ask the general public what their views on it are/hopefully find someone with a similar story so I can stop feeling so trapped and alone because of what happened in the past. Normal, or no?

Is It Normal?
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  • Pretty normal. I have siblings but we are about 4 years apart, so I did this with my cousin until it seemed “weird”. We never talk about it, but I’m sure she remembers.
    Let it go, it’s typical kid experience and experimenting.

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  • Many siblings have played "doctor". I think it's quite normal and you should not beat yourself up about it.

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  • Totally normal. Even if it wasn't normal, you didn't know anything about it at the time so there was nothing you could do about it. Even if it wasn't normal and you were fully aware that it wasn't, you were children. Even if it wasn't normal and you were fully aware that it wasn't and you were adults, it's not like anyone came to any harm because of it anyway. So don't worry about it.

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  • Person who introduced you to that probably had some mental issues of her own most likely got it from family..but how old was she? And how severe really? I don't know if its simple childhood experiment or the "screwed a child's brain up that manifests into adulthood" type of shit though.. :( anyway of it still bugs you then its better to see a therapist...

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  • First, you both were kids and you trusted the older girl. This is not your fault, im sorry that girl said it was fine. she took advantage and you and your sister paid the price but dont beat yourself up about it, you didnt know and you stopped right away when you found out.

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  • It's really REALLY common and normal: stop worrying about it and move on

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  • Most kids are just curious and siblings/cousins/friends are your only way of learning what the other gender looks like and feels like down there. It's normal and most people have a similar story, you were too young to understand what was really going on.

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  • normal 100 percent of the time

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  • I never grew up with my siblings but I did one time play doctor with this girl, same age as me, and we did do similiar things. I think we were both seven at the time.

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  • When I was six this girl from a trashy trailer park family introduced me and my friend to it. At some point there was even penetration. It stopped when her older brother discovered us and told all our parents.

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  • It may have not happened to you but I got sexually abused, and I was a pretty twisted kid, and I have done some stuff (nothing serious) but these things sort of happen, and throughout the years therapists/and other people told me it's somewhat normal, and that's something children do most of the time (A lot of kids experiment)



    I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for this statement but I don't really care, if you haven't got sexually abused don't act like you're an expert, and if you have got sexually abused and you didn't do things that I did, well everyone reacts differently. All I can say is that everything I did when I was a child was with consent.

    And yes, these things do happen. A few times I had 3 situations when other kids were trying to do sexual things TO ME.


    Me and this girl )played doctor, but we just humped each other. Mind you I don't like girls, and I don't know why I even wanted to do it. I think i was just confused?.. this happened around the time I got molested, so I was 5.

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  • My brothers and I played sex a lot! They were older than me but I liked it. By the time I was 8 or so we had gotten past that stage. We don't talk about it and are great friends today. So I said it's normal.

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  • How much older than the two of you was the abuser? How long has it been since ya'll saw the abuser? Maybe if she was an adolescent at tube time of the abuse you could turn her in to the authorities if that would back you feel better? Was she home schooled too? Honestly, I bet she was probably molested by an older child or an adult herself.

    Have you ever sought any sort of counseling for this? Think you ought to seek out some counseling. No offense, but I'm certainly not a fan of home schooling, and people people raising their children out in the middle of nowhere.

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    • Please don't lump all home-schoolers together.

      We home-educate our daughter, mainly because we think our local school is pretty crap, but also because we're convinced there are many aspects of the larger British educational system which have been completely screwed up by politicians.

      Our daughter is involved with Brownies, Cub Scouts, youth theater, an art club and archery, and she's about to get into Aikido, so she has a large circle of friends who are both home-educated and public-schooled. I know I'm biased, but I think she's a bright, happy, confident and out-going kid. I'm certain she's a lot more content with her life than I was at her age, and in purely academic terms, she's advanced for her age.

      I do accept that, in some cases, home schooling can be a form of child-abuse, but families who go that route are not all anti-social or hyper-religious weirdos, and home schooling does not always result in ignorant, damaged adults.

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  • You were just a kid, and the thing about kids is that there's an awful lot they don't know. When you got some new information which led you to understand this wasn't as normal as the other girl had said, you didn't ignore that, and nor did you try to justify your behavior because it felt good, you just stopped doing it.

    You seem to consider the other girl an evil manipulator, but I think you need to reconsider this.

    While I do understand your anger, I suspect a large part of that is because you feel guilty (unjustifiably, I think), and you should also consider why she told you what she did. Where did she learn that genital grinding between children was perfectly okay? Where did she learn the technique, and who told her that?

    It seems to me entirely possible that the girl was the victim of child sexual abuse. Young children who engage in sexual acts with other children often have been sexualized by abuse, and people who abuse children usually tell their victims that what's being done to them is normal, but needs to be kept secret.

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    • It's possible but I don't think ypu can infer abuse from a particular behavior. I'm in group therapy with survivors 3 times a week and none of us acted out in similar ways. There are just as many prudes as sluts like me. There are addicts, straight, gay, bi etc...

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      • I understand that people respond very differently to childhood sexual abuse.

        I was married for twenty years to a woman who, after many years together, told me that she was sexually abused as a child. She was never able to tell me exactly what happened, but I'm convinced that whatever it was, it was the underlying cause of her many sexual hangups.

        What I picked up on in the OP is how the "other girl" told the boy and his sister that what she showed them was "normal". If she had said, "Hey, I've discovered this thing that feels really nice!" then I would have assumed her knowledge was the result of normal prepubescent exploration.

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  • It's not normal, but I think you're making it too big of a deal. You were too young to understand it wasn't normal. So don't worry about it so much.

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    • i think that its normal to be confused this isnt normal doctor from what it sounds like but 8-10 it is easy to be confused in that way about it

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