is it normal for people to front all the time?

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  • Nothing is quite what it seems. I used to say the world would be better if everyone was entirely honest, i.e.

    A bully saying: I'm hitting you in the face because I think you're really pretty and I jealous and my father raped my when I was 10 and I'm still angry about that and need an outlet.

    A TV advert saying: You don't really need this product and we don't care what happens to you the moment after the transaction clears. We only pretended to care because we want your money. If we could legally pickpocket you, we wouldn't bother with all this advertising crap.

    A lover saying: Of course I look at other people. Yes, I fantasise about them sometimes and I lie and pretend I don't because it makes you insecure and then you get onto me about it. When you catch me lying or watching porn when I said I wouldn't, it makes you think I am lying about the bigger things. The said thing is, I wasn't.

    The problem is, in a perfect world of entirely honest people, the lying man is king. Heh, the Lyin' King!

    I just amused myself there and forgot the point I was trying to make.

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    • Amazing

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    • Are you familiar with Mowrer's integrity therapy?

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      • Nope, but I like that you tell me these things because I then go and read about them.

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        • I've found that there's surprisingly little written on him, but I learned about him in a psychology lecture once.

          He essentially agreed with what you just said. The basic tenet of his theories was that all social anxiety stems from incompatibilities that are obfuscated by our tendency to lie all the fucking time. He proposed that if we all dropped our masks and faced all the genuine conflict we've been avoiding, we would discover the degree to which we are truly compatible with various people and develop our relationships accordingly.

          Pretty interesting.

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          • I've just been having a bit of a read about him. It is interesting stuff. Although it wasn't explicitly mentioned, I couldn't help but think about the Catholic concept of confession (plus the way I sometimes deal with this site). That only seems to be a partial step, though, and I like Mowrer's more expansive answer. It also reminds me of a quote of Henri-Frédéric Amiel (which I often used as justifying my position).

            "Truth above all, even when it upsets us and overwhelms us."

            I would like a couple of weeks in Mowrer-World to see what it may be like. Although one question, I guess, is whether ad-men have a conscience and so would gradually adapt or fall into depression. Or whether they don't have one.

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