Is it normal for no sexual communication??

26% Normal
9 Comments

First post here on IIN, right my issue is i've been with my fiancé for 13 years now. At the beginning sex was ok but she never made the first move, she still doesn't to this day. I like to think I'm a very patient and caring lover, her satisfaction and happiness is all i'm interested in. I've tried many times over the years to talk about changing things to spice things up to stop things going stale, but she is never interested in talking. I still haven't got a clue what she likes in bed as she wont tell me. I'm a very trustworthy person and would never cheat, she knows this. I feel sex is just a chore for her as she feels its her duty to give me sex. When we do get down to it the "noises" she makes (a hell of a lot!!), makes me think if she is getting this much pleasure out of what we are doing why only twice a month (if I'm lucky) and only when I make the first move?? I'm one confused fella!! She never suggests a position or asks me to do anything for her. Thanks for reading, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers guys.

Voting Results
26% Normal
Based on 54 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • jeebley
    10 years ago

    Have a really honest talk with her is all I can suggest. Ask her how she feels about everything and try not to seem critical.
    Sounds like she won't really want to talk about it, but it seems like the only thing to do, eh?
    Probably play that salt n peppa song to start it off "let's talk about sex, baby", and then say "you know what? We should talk about sex - especially the bad things"
    Don't do that...lol sorry OP

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    • FunkyMonkey
      10 years ago

      Pmsl! Cheers for commenting, i would try that but she wouldnt see the funny side.

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  • tripw7
    10 years ago

    Feel for you friend. Don't think that any simple reply will be a great benefit for your situation. It's probably not going to change for her no matter what you do.

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    • FunkyMonkey
      10 years ago

      Cheers for the comment. I believe you are right in what you say, cant see her changing in anyway no matter what.

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  • mashean
    10 years ago

    Could just be a low sex drive? Everyone is different.. If you are both happy, then what is the issue? It shouldn't be based on sex. Once you are married, that will all stop anyway...

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    • Talk_is_cheap
      10 years ago

      Sadly, this is true. :-(

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  • Gspyder
    10 years ago

    I can't even imagine. I think it's very important to be open with eachother about sex. Sex is a reflection of your emotional connection with eachother. I would get to the bottom of that before going foreward. No pun intended.

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  • beachgirl1210
    10 years ago

    If there is one thing I know about relationships and love, its communication. Don't "hint" things, dont dance around the subject, just be straight up with the person and tell them what your thinking and your desires.

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    • FunkyMonkey
      10 years ago

      Cheers for the comment. I am always honest with her tell her everything but she is the complete opposite of me. Do you think she maybe bi sexual but too scared to admit it to me?

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