It will be a very difficult issue to raise, particularly given what you say about her being very sensitive to guys who are jealous and your determination not to be controlling.
First, I think you need to try to take a step back and consider whether your reaction to her relationship with your father might indeed be pure and simple jealousy on your part. From what you say, it does sound like she might be a little obsessed with him. Drawing his face repeatedly and using his photo on her lock screen does seem a little weird, and it's not impossible that there's something emotional and sexual going on between the two of them, but it's also possible that she just finds him an appealing father-figure. Older men and younger women are a cliché, but it is possible for two human beings of opposite genders and differing ages to just like each other in a non-sexual sort of way.
What's his attitude towards her? Does it seem similar to how he's been with other girlfriends of yours, or does it seem a lot closer, or does he make an effort to immediately change the subject when her name comes up?
What's her family history? Is she (or was she) close to her father, or was there no father in her life at all? Is there much physical contact between her and your father? Do they seem to have private jokes? Are there opportunities for them to be intimate, and do they seem to set those opportunities up? Do you have good reason to believe that your father might be a bit of a hound? Are there reasons for you to believe that your girlfriend might be less than 100% faithful?
I'm not asking for answers to those questions, just suggesting they're things you could think about when deciding whether this is something you need to talk to her about.
Is it normal for my girlfriend to have a crush on my dad?
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It will be a very difficult issue to raise, particularly given what you say about her being very sensitive to guys who are jealous and your determination not to be controlling.
First, I think you need to try to take a step back and consider whether your reaction to her relationship with your father might indeed be pure and simple jealousy on your part. From what you say, it does sound like she might be a little obsessed with him. Drawing his face repeatedly and using his photo on her lock screen does seem a little weird, and it's not impossible that there's something emotional and sexual going on between the two of them, but it's also possible that she just finds him an appealing father-figure. Older men and younger women are a cliché, but it is possible for two human beings of opposite genders and differing ages to just like each other in a non-sexual sort of way.
What's his attitude towards her? Does it seem similar to how he's been with other girlfriends of yours, or does it seem a lot closer, or does he make an effort to immediately change the subject when her name comes up?
What's her family history? Is she (or was she) close to her father, or was there no father in her life at all? Is there much physical contact between her and your father? Do they seem to have private jokes? Are there opportunities for them to be intimate, and do they seem to set those opportunities up? Do you have good reason to believe that your father might be a bit of a hound? Are there reasons for you to believe that your girlfriend might be less than 100% faithful?
I'm not asking for answers to those questions, just suggesting they're things you could think about when deciding whether this is something you need to talk to her about.
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Anonymous Post Author
5 years ago
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I definitely have a tendency to be jealous, but the answers to those questions make me very uneasy
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IrishPotato
5 years ago
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I'm assuming these are the answers.
He's very close towards her.
There's a lot of physical contact.
They have private jokes.
They set upon the oppertunities .
His dad is a hound. A scoundrel I might say!
His girlfriend seems unfaithful.