I do not agree with you in the slightest there, expect for the trusting part. He stumbled on something which he was not wanting to find and obviously, karma does come around and it revealed that his chick obviously likes to have 'fun' with other men (not to mention that she did not even own up to what she did and refused to delete this guy of her phone)f. and you're saying that he should be the one trying and being the best he could possible be? What the fuck is wrong with you? This person, I'm sorry to say, could be a potential cheater, cheating starts in thoughts and thoughs proceed to actions and well, we all know what happens after.
Secondly, considering that it's her who broke the trust, it should be her having to work hard to gain his trust not the other way around. You sound like a good guy, you really do. You owe her fuck all and you don't need to do fuck all, you have not given ur gf a reason not to trust you, and obviously now she has given you, and the fact that she didn't wantto delete him makes it even worst. It that was me, and I'm a girl, I would have left her right there and then, you are no damn fool.
I say talk to her to own up to her skeletons in her closet and if she wants to be with you she has to know work hard to earn your trust.
Don't be silly please, she did the mistake not you, be smart because if you let this go, how he'll do you know she is still not doing this behind your back? What she did is beyond disrespectful, how each partner behaves reflects the relationship and how much you respect each other, obviously she has shown how much she values the relationship,
Sorry to be the party pooper but your chick may be up to something, don't be naive. Good luck
"Stumbled across" by going through her personal text messages, and continuing to hunt down more information after the initial "accidental" finding?
I personally would be really pissed. Especially if I was innocent. That would hurt me immensely, to have someone who is supposed to love and trust me violating my personal stuff like that. Of course, this is all from the standpoint of someone who is usually blatantly honest. It's entirely possible she IS up to "foul play" and I never said it wasn't. Regardless, whether or not the OP or the above commenter agrees, I'm willing to bet the girl in question views the act as a breach of trust. It's the most natural response.
I tend to give most people the benefit of the doubt. Especially loved ones. If I invaded my partner's privacy, got jealous, and demanded she do something and found out I was WRONG? I'd feel like complete shit. I'd also have damaged the relationship greatly.
She may very well be doing fucked up, shitty things to you. It's also possible she isn't. I would like to be standing tall at the end when all the dust is cleared and be able to say "I did the right thing, and was the better (wo)man." Not because I want to prove anything to my partner, or lord it over them in any sort of "high and mighty" sense, but because I want to prove to myself that I stand by my moral standards.
Only the OP has the information needed to make whatever judgment call is necessary. The only reason for my posting is to offer a viewpoint, take it or leave it, in the hopes that it was of some help in navigating this difficult situation.
That opinion is: show her what a trusting, loving partner does. If she fucks you over, you still have that to stand by, and stand tall. You don't need to resort to the same things she MAY have resorted to. The above poster is correct - if she wants it to work, she needs to show you that she can work hard and earn your trust. Show her that you deliver nothing less than that yourself.
I do agree with the privacy issue, but whenever a partner is in doubt and needs reassuring than I'm sorry but I would not care about my privacy at all just to make sure my loved one is secure and happy.
I am completely open with my bf,he knows my passwordp to everything and I know his.why would I keep privacy unless I'm wanting to hide something?I'm sorry but that's how p see it,when you decide to be in a relationship I honestly do not see the need for 'privacy' unless something is being hidden. If you truly love that person than why keep secrets?
As previously stated by you earlier,no trust means no good relationship, does but privacy not entail you keeping 'secrets' and things to yourself? I personally believe that having privacy is means of lacking communication and trust to tell the other person everything
I understand and respect the opinion that total honesty is important in a relationship. I'll even agree to it if it's important to my partner.
Personally, I feel that some level of privacy and a few secrets are okay in a relationship. I think that we develop our own personalities through a combination of things we're open about and share, and things we prefer to keep to ourselves. There are some things we simply don't want to be blatantly honest about - like an embarrassing health concern, body issues, fleeting thoughts and notions... because we feel that revealing these "secrets" might make things awkward for our partner.
About key issues that strongly affect the relationship, I would agree open honesty is vital. When it comes to smaller issues... well, sometimes it's alright to have a few secrets. A little bit of mystery can create a healthy level of intrigue, as well. Perhaps it's not necessary to know that my partner has a bowel condition that gives him/her diarrhea frequently :P Perhaps it's fun and exciting to not KNOW if my partner is thinking about a certain sex act that would excite and thrill me, but to guess at it, and play the game of little hints and subtlety, building up a pleasant tension about it.
In the end, I suppose the saying "To each their own" is best, however.
Is it normal for my gf to do this???
↑ View this comment's parent
← View full post
I do not agree with you in the slightest there, expect for the trusting part. He stumbled on something which he was not wanting to find and obviously, karma does come around and it revealed that his chick obviously likes to have 'fun' with other men (not to mention that she did not even own up to what she did and refused to delete this guy of her phone)f. and you're saying that he should be the one trying and being the best he could possible be? What the fuck is wrong with you? This person, I'm sorry to say, could be a potential cheater, cheating starts in thoughts and thoughs proceed to actions and well, we all know what happens after.
Secondly, considering that it's her who broke the trust, it should be her having to work hard to gain his trust not the other way around. You sound like a good guy, you really do. You owe her fuck all and you don't need to do fuck all, you have not given ur gf a reason not to trust you, and obviously now she has given you, and the fact that she didn't wantto delete him makes it even worst. It that was me, and I'm a girl, I would have left her right there and then, you are no damn fool.
I say talk to her to own up to her skeletons in her closet and if she wants to be with you she has to know work hard to earn your trust.
Don't be silly please, she did the mistake not you, be smart because if you let this go, how he'll do you know she is still not doing this behind your back? What she did is beyond disrespectful, how each partner behaves reflects the relationship and how much you respect each other, obviously she has shown how much she values the relationship,
Sorry to be the party pooper but your chick may be up to something, don't be naive. Good luck
--
PumpkinKate
11 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
-1
-1
"Stumbled across" by going through her personal text messages, and continuing to hunt down more information after the initial "accidental" finding?
I personally would be really pissed. Especially if I was innocent. That would hurt me immensely, to have someone who is supposed to love and trust me violating my personal stuff like that. Of course, this is all from the standpoint of someone who is usually blatantly honest. It's entirely possible she IS up to "foul play" and I never said it wasn't. Regardless, whether or not the OP or the above commenter agrees, I'm willing to bet the girl in question views the act as a breach of trust. It's the most natural response.
I tend to give most people the benefit of the doubt. Especially loved ones. If I invaded my partner's privacy, got jealous, and demanded she do something and found out I was WRONG? I'd feel like complete shit. I'd also have damaged the relationship greatly.
She may very well be doing fucked up, shitty things to you. It's also possible she isn't. I would like to be standing tall at the end when all the dust is cleared and be able to say "I did the right thing, and was the better (wo)man." Not because I want to prove anything to my partner, or lord it over them in any sort of "high and mighty" sense, but because I want to prove to myself that I stand by my moral standards.
Only the OP has the information needed to make whatever judgment call is necessary. The only reason for my posting is to offer a viewpoint, take it or leave it, in the hopes that it was of some help in navigating this difficult situation.
That opinion is: show her what a trusting, loving partner does. If she fucks you over, you still have that to stand by, and stand tall. You don't need to resort to the same things she MAY have resorted to. The above poster is correct - if she wants it to work, she needs to show you that she can work hard and earn your trust. Show her that you deliver nothing less than that yourself.
--
chatter289
11 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I do agree with the privacy issue, but whenever a partner is in doubt and needs reassuring than I'm sorry but I would not care about my privacy at all just to make sure my loved one is secure and happy.
I am completely open with my bf,he knows my passwordp to everything and I know his.why would I keep privacy unless I'm wanting to hide something?I'm sorry but that's how p see it,when you decide to be in a relationship I honestly do not see the need for 'privacy' unless something is being hidden. If you truly love that person than why keep secrets?
As previously stated by you earlier,no trust means no good relationship, does but privacy not entail you keeping 'secrets' and things to yourself? I personally believe that having privacy is means of lacking communication and trust to tell the other person everything
--
PumpkinKate
11 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I understand and respect the opinion that total honesty is important in a relationship. I'll even agree to it if it's important to my partner.
Personally, I feel that some level of privacy and a few secrets are okay in a relationship. I think that we develop our own personalities through a combination of things we're open about and share, and things we prefer to keep to ourselves. There are some things we simply don't want to be blatantly honest about - like an embarrassing health concern, body issues, fleeting thoughts and notions... because we feel that revealing these "secrets" might make things awkward for our partner.
About key issues that strongly affect the relationship, I would agree open honesty is vital. When it comes to smaller issues... well, sometimes it's alright to have a few secrets. A little bit of mystery can create a healthy level of intrigue, as well. Perhaps it's not necessary to know that my partner has a bowel condition that gives him/her diarrhea frequently :P Perhaps it's fun and exciting to not KNOW if my partner is thinking about a certain sex act that would excite and thrill me, but to guess at it, and play the game of little hints and subtlety, building up a pleasant tension about it.
In the end, I suppose the saying "To each their own" is best, however.